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1. If you hear a deer, it's probably a squirrel. If you hear a squirrel, it's probably a squirrel. If you don't hear anything, it's because there is nothing there. When you're 100% sure there are no deer, you'll notice a deer 20 yards away looking at you… and then runs off while snorting and alerting every animal in a half mile of your presence. 2. Deer hunters need to "fuel up" by eating two or even three times their normal amount of food before during and after a hunt since sitting on your butt absolutely motionless outside burns a lot of calories. 3. "Is my safety on?" [checks safety] "yeah, my safety is on." Repeat every 2-3 minutes for 10 straight hours. 4. After exhaustive hours and days of scouting, trimming branches, locating trails, rubs and scrapes, identifying food sources, bedding areas and finding the perfect tree to hang your stand; the deer come in on a different route just out of range. 5. You've waited all year for opening day and you're so excited that you can't sleep the night before so you stay awake with friends talking, drinking, watching hunting videos and re-enacting prior years failures and successes… when it's finally time to go hunting on opening morning, all you want to do is go to sleep. 6. You brought out all the gadgets to help bring in a big buck. You bleated, grunted, rattled, growled, waved your rag soaked in doe-in-heat urine, put out a few more tending calls, rattled a bit more, turned over your "original can" call, a few more grunts, three fawn bleats and another tending grunt just before you rattle one more time and then wonder why the deer aren't coming in. 7. You see a deer in your neighborhood while driving to your hunting spot 20 minutes away and then don't see a deer all day. When you get home your wife says, "I saw a deer in the backyard today… did you get anything?" 8. You hunt all weekend and finally during the last hour on Sunday, you start thinking about the big hassle it will be if you actually got a deer NOW since you'll spend half the night dressing it, dragging it, hanging it and then cleaning out the truck…after all you have to be at work in the morning and then silently hope a deer doesn't come out cause you need to sleep from all this hunting… and of course a deer doesn't come out because you're being negative and then shooting light ends and you drive home. 9. When two hunters are hunting the same 100 acre area, but arrive separately; their tree stands will inevitably be within sight of each other. 10. There are two types of deer hunters, those that put the work in and earn their deer and those that rely on others to put the work in and get lucky. It's nice to be the second guy once in a while, but real hunters would rather be the first guy. Hunt Hard Gentlemen.