This is shocking...I need some advice


Turkeygirl

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Ok guys, I'm sure some of you remember Elizabeth, and what a jerk she was and all that. Well the other day I decided all of a sudden that as a Christian person, I could not forget what happened but I could go on with life and that Elizabeth has alot of needs and problems. I had some pictures from before the mess and I decided to send them to her because I did not have any use for them and somehow I felt it in my heart to send them. I got an email from her today! I won't go in to detail but she talked about what happened and apologized and hopes to work things out. I don't know what to think..possibily my prayers for her have done some good, I don't know but I would liek to tell my mom and I don't know what to say because I don't need mom thinking I'm going to get hung up with her again because I'm not. But if I can act out of Christian love, then so be it. Right now I am just dazed...I never thought I'd even hear from her again. I knew that I have to get ver stuff and move on and I have done so.what should I do?

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Re: This is shocking...I need some advice

TG, seems like you made peace with this issue just before Christmas this year, and I am certain that those of us who were around, acknowledge how difficult it was for you. As it stands, you have forgiven, Liz. But, more importantly, you came to terms with all that went on (for yourself). In the process, you learned more about who you are. Your prayers for reconciliation may have indeed worked out, and certainly Liz may have changed. But, for yourself, is the friendship one that needs to exist? If is does, then you need to identify to what extent the relationship should exist.

It would seem that as I go through life I continue to learn little lessons. Trust is rose with many thorns, and I think it's important to balance a fine line between trust and foolishness. I have many friends for which I have had life struggles. Of those individuals, many I am still friends with. However that doesn't mean that I don't remember what occurred to damage our friendship, nor does it mean that I am not careful to see the warning signs of impeding harm.

I guess I was always raised to forgive and forget, but as I have grown (and perhaps grown a little more cynical), I have recognized that in forgetting, we only repeat our past.

So in closing, be honest with Liz, express the hurt she caused you and let her be aware of you concerns with engaging in a friendship, then watch for the signs... don't be hurt twice! Remember, a fine line between trust and foolishness. Best of luck- Goat

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Re: This is shocking...I need some advice

I'm one to forgive, but never forget.. I've just got the mindset that people have a "nature", if they do it once they'll do it again. I always think of Aesop's fable about the scorpion and the frog.. It's just their nature, best to forgive and move on

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Re: This is shocking...I need some advice

I'm saying if she needs to talk, I open to listening but I am not saying I can forget what she has done. I pray all the time that God will work in her because she has alot of problems and she mentioned some in her email. I just happen to be sensitive to other people. I'm not saying I'm going to fall into a friendship with her. I know two people that similar things have happened,maybe not as severe. True we don't hang out and stuff but I still communicate with them because I care.

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Re: This is shocking...I need some advice

As others have already said, you have moved on and gotten past it. Do whatever your heart tells you. Maybe she really needs help, just dont put yourself in a position to trust her as a true friend and you will not be disappointed.

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Re: This is shocking...I need some advice

I would like to believe that everyone can change and become a better person. We have no idea what sorts of situations God is going to put a person in to learn their lesson. I believe you do need to forgive (and you will know by the way you feel in your heart whether you have truly done this or not.), or it will eat away at you and it just makes no sense to me to let this happen to yourself.

I guess I am a little more optimistic than the others here (and I have no idea what the original problem was), but I would give the friendship a chance. This doesn't mean that you need to leave yourself wide open to be hurt again though!

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