Muff Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 On the first day, John sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, John had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; put on some soft background music, and feasted on a couple pounds of shrimp, and a jar of caviar. When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of all the curtain rods.. John then cleaned up the kitchen and left. On the fourth day, Johns wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! Friends and family stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The new maid that she couldn't afford before, quit. Finally, the ex-wife and boyfriend couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move. But a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the out of town realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Hearing what had happened, John called the ex-wife and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. John listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to buy the house, if the divorce settlement was decreased to zero in exchange for buying the house. Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day. John agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork to him, which he signed. A week later the ex-wife and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.... And just to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :toot:, that was pricless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun_300 Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 LOL!!! That is too funny! :clown::D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LETMGROW Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 Thats good. Way to go JOHN! Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clrj3514 Posted February 6, 2012 Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 Ouch! Can you say sweeeeeeeeeeet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted February 6, 2012 Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 that's a funny story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted February 6, 2012 Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 ​That's what they call "Planning Ahead"! LOL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyohunter Posted February 6, 2012 Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted February 6, 2012 Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 Nice to read a happy ending. lol. John is a smart man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbHunterNY Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 can't believe i missed this... very funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deer slayer Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 HAHAHA that was great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbeck Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 that's good right there. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layin on the smackdown Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 I wouldnt have even felt guilty....Muuuuhahahahahahaha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 Lmbo! Funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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