Ozarkgal Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 I want everyone's opinion, do you think if a spouse cheats that they will do it again? Also how do you forgive someone who keeps telling lie's and how do you trust someone again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kat Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 from my experiences they'll do it again.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunt or be Hunted Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 from my experiences they'll do it again.......... I'm with Kyle. Once a cheater, Always a cheater. Found that one out the hard way... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawg Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 I don't believe the saying "once a cheater always a cheater", people can change....some choose not to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 Dunno, but think it may depend some on circumstances. Think people who get married too young sometimes make mistakes and may "grow" out of them. Far as trusting someone who continues to lie even after they have been confronted, don't think I could do it although I would forgive them. About all more I can say is pray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastTnHunter Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 This is pretty wide open, like corey said they can change it just depends on if they want to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisehart53 Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I'm with the guys above if the lie and cheat its not worth the time you put in the relationship! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
92xj Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Living unhappy is not the way to live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozarkgal Posted February 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks, its very hard because there is no trust anymore and I cant get past that. I think I deserve better. I keep thinking its my fault somehow. Maybe Im just being stupid for staying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bug House Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 (edited) Living unhappy is not the way to live. Imma just gonna quote it, cause it's so true. Edited February 16, 2012 by The Bug House Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Good luck with whatever choice you make Ozarkgal. Some situations we tend to complicate no matter how obvious the signs just so we can say we tried our best. Go with your gut on this one. Just remember.... we don't want to see ya on the Jerry Springer show anytime soon,lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbHunterNY Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 i know of a few couples that it's happened to. people make mistakes sometimes. the ones that stayed together went through a very ruff patch, but it was discussed and then put in the past. never happened again. a mistake is something that you didn't want or mean to happen and don't plan to repeat. i hope things work out. Best of luck to you Ozarkgal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layin on the smackdown Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Lets examine the word.... A "mistake" is something someone does (generally) that they didn't know was a "take" therefore being referred to as a mistake... has nothing to do with cheating or being unfaithful... As far as i know, there is no word for a "mischoice", because, as adults, we all know we have a choice, and our choice was to be faithful. So regardless of the circumstances at hand, cheating was a choice not a mistake, mistakes happen all the time - married people, brothers, sisters, friends everyone deals with mistakes, but cheating is a choice not a mistake...its a given moment when someone has the time to make a decision - and the decision that person makes is what determines being unfaithful or not...Cheating is not part of the question, but maybe part of the answer... just my opinion... I feel guilty when i can't take my lab goose hunting, but i know that he knows where i was at and what i was doing... that is cheating. dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunt or be Hunted Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I will apologize for saying once a cheater always a cheater. That's my view for what I have went through. Yes they can change, But like they said above its their own choice if they wanna or not. Again, I apologize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stinger-Hunter Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 The reality is most will do it again - regardless if it is a man or a woman that cheats. I have examples of both. One cousin was divorced, forgave his wife for cheating, married her again and wouldn't you know it - boom, just like clockwork. Goes both ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layin on the smackdown Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Jeremy and Stinger, good points....but see post # 13 dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozarkgal Posted February 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 As far as i know, there is no word for a "mischoice", because, as adults, we all know we have a choice, and our choice was to be faithful. Thanks dan, you are so right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
92xj Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 wow, No one should have to apologize for their opinion. Every cheating experience I have seen has been a repeat. So, my thoughts, once a cheater always a cheater. And it was a mistake on their part to cheat. it was their choice as well. Its their consequences to deal with. its their life to live. But they wont learn and will do it again. People cheat in a relationship because they are not happy. No one has ever heard a story of cow eating the grass across the fence because the grass on his side is the best grass ever. There is no excuse for cheating. Man up and end it if you're not happy, dont stay unhappy and cheat on someone that you're to chickenpoo to break up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozarkgal Posted February 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks ben but its just not that easy and you know why..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUDRUNNER Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 I believe that people can change if they want to. I was not always the fine outstanding gentleman you see here today;). I spent a lot of time in trouble, and looking back now I think it's fair to say I was pretty much a jerk through my teens and early 20's....especially toward women. That being said, I don't like liars or excuses. It sounds like he needs to man up and make a decision. I think people generally cheat when they are unhappy with the way things are, or what they've become. If that's the case some decisions need to be made. Can things be worked out and get back on track? That's a personal decision the couple has to make. I agree with Ben...if he's not happy and you can't trust him, then there's no point in stringing somebody alongin a reationship that's destined to fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
92xj Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks ben but its just not that easy and you know why..... that wasn't directed at you. It was directed at the people who do the cheating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LETMGROW Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Mistake - choice The first mistake was getting caught! But, it was the cheater's choice. One run and your done. As in Good Bye! Have a good rest of your life. Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCH Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 In my opinion, everyone has weak moments, but not everyone chooses to act upon their impulses. Those that do always have excuses. And I know people are supposed to learn from their mistakes, but in my experience, those who cheat on their spouse/significant other, rarely learn the first time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozarkgal Posted February 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 Yes he does need to man up. Its just not that simple to leave. There are other things involved. I wish i could just leave, because there is no trust at all, he broke that long time ago, only 2 months after being married. I wish i could go back 7 months ago and this wouldnt have happened. But thanks everyone for your opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LETMGROW Posted February 16, 2012 Report Share Posted February 16, 2012 In my opinion, everyone has weak moments, but not everyone chooses to act upon their impulses. Those that do always have excuses. And I know people are supposed to learn from their mistakes, but in my experience, those who cheat on their spouse/significant other, rarely learn the first time. Once someone has gotten away with it the first time the easier it will be to try it again the second, third, forth etc. Who knows who the cheater's partner (s) is? ( are ) Do they get around a little too much? Then your significant other brings home a disease you don't want to contend with! I put a number on the chances I would give. That is 0. As in zero, none. Lynn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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