Need prayers, PLEASE!


HuntingInMaine

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Yesterday I got a registered letter from my ex-husband. He is sueing me for custody of the children, more visitation time, he doesn't want to pay child support, and doesn't want to provide health insurance for them. He is filing papers with the court that state that I haven't worked for 8 years and have been going to college the whole time. (Which is easily documented with the state of Maine and the university of southern maine as being completely false! )

In 2001 I enrolled in a 5 year program to get my bachelor's degree, after this semester I have 2 classes left to get my degree and a GPA of 3.85 so I am very serious about getting my education and not just wasting time and money! Before this time I was babysitting for my ex's sister. I didn't make much money, but it allowed me to stay at home with the boys and saved my ex the money in child care that he would have had to pay.

While I am going to school I do get help from the state (I pay my own tuition, they help with babysitting, ect.) and the state just filed a court order against him to pay for health insurance. This is something that he volunteered to pay when the divorce went through, but he let the policy lapse and now the state is going after him. I knew nothing about this as it is something the state did on their own. But it seems he thinks I am the one that started the court order against him so he is retaliating with this b.s. against me.

I know that everything he is claiming will be easily proven a lie, but just the threat about taking my boys scares me and also makes me angrier than I have ever been! Now I have to find the money for a lawyer, just when I was looking forward to getting done with school and starting a career.

Please pray that all of this goes smoothly. I could care less if he ever paid another penny towards my boys, I will be able to take care of that myself soon, but I am sick with worry about the custody. He says that I don't let him see the children for a "fair amount of time". When we first divorced he had the boys three nights a week (wed. and weekends). He is the one who has slowly done away with having them on wednesdays, and then stopped taking them Friday nights, and then started sending them home early Sunday's.....and I don't let him see the boys??????? Currently he has the boys from late friday afternoon until sunday morning, again, by his own choice. Two days before he sent these papers he asked me if I would keep the boys this upcoming weekend. So, he doesn't get to see them enough, but doesn't want them this weekend???

I have bent over backwards, re-arranged my schedule too many times to count, just so he could have things convient for him....I am done, it just doens't pay to be nice! And to make this all a little more exciting, he and his wife live directly across the street from me, so I have to see them every day. confused.gif (and the boys have never been told by me that they couldn't go see their dad, )

Sorry to have gone on and on and on....just really needed to vent! frown.gif I could really use some prayers now.

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

If you can prove all that, he does not stand a chance. He lives right across from you right? I am sure he can see the kids all he wants within reason....???? He is digging, thats about it. Sounds like he is mad at you for sure. I know a few guys that do not want to pay for their kids and retaliate often. Very sad. I think you will be all set. It is going to cost you some money to fight it though, which stinks. Maybe you can sue him for it back when you win...?

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

Jim,

Yes, he bought the house across the street from me a year ago. The boys can go over any time they want, but his wife has made it so they don't feel very welcome and don't go. Even when they are there for their weekend visits they spend a lot of time here with me. And like I said, I have never told him he couldn't see the kids, my mother even plans our thanksgiving dinner around the one my ex's mother has so they can go to both places to eat. I couldn't humanly do anything more to make it easy for him to be with the boys, but he made the choice not to. And it seems even now he doesn't really want them, but thinks it is the only way he could pay less money.

It will be easy to prove I was working (I claimed every penny with the state, so they have the detailed records, and school is easy to prove)

He only pays $80 a week in child support and that is for both boys. The insurance will cost him $90 a month. With insurance costs as high as they are, I think that is a pretty good deal, and this is something he volunteered to pay during the divorce.

Thanks for all the prayers, I really need them!

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

Hang in there HuntingInMaine, it sounds like you'll have no problem with this. As someone stated above, I would look into the possibility of having it ruled that after (not if, but after) you win this to have the judge rule that your ex pay your lawyer fees. That will put a stop to him pulling crap like this any time he feels like it.

Living across the street from my ex, holy cow I can't imagine.

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

[ QUOTE ]

I don;t think he has a leg to stand on...just talk with a lawyer (free consultation) and make sure you talk with a good one (reputation, word of mouth, etc.)

go get him.... i had the same trouble with my grandsons parents... they thought that everytime the state would step in and force the court ruleing on support that i was the one that ordered it ... but like you it wasn't me that made the order.... the last time we were in court i got the state to tell it was them pushing the order now they know ....but they still fight it and my son even has the coustidy back but he and his ex are still ordered to pay the back support(Which the state gets) Godd luck to you and prayers on the way...

Good luck!

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

Sorry to hear something like this!

He certainly isn't taking the welfare of the boys into consideration! If he did, he would work his butt off to see and be with them every time he could! He is using the kids as pawns, so sad!

Wishing you nothing but the best! Hang in there.

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

[ QUOTE ]

He only pays $80 a week in child support and that is for both boys. The insurance will cost him $90 a month. With insurance costs as high as they are, I think that is a pretty good deal, and this is something he volunteered to pay during the divorce.

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That is dirt cheap. He is getting off easy! Not sure what he is complaining about. Thats a small price to pay to help your own flesh and blood. If anything, he should be offering more, to help with school clothes, and stuff like that. I think he is in for a wake up call if this actually goes to court.

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

[ QUOTE ]

I know that everything he is claiming will be easily proven a lie, but just the threat about taking my boys scares me and also makes me angrier than I have ever been! Now I have to find the money for a lawyer, just when I was looking forward to getting done with school and starting a career.

Please pray that all of this goes smoothly

[/ QUOTE ]

You've got it Linda. Hang in there and be strong. wink.gif

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Re: Need prayers, PLEASE!

Thanks for all of your support, it means the world to me! I talked with an attorney yesterday and she told me things are looking very good for me and if he continues with the proceedings he will end up paying more in child support because we have all the papers to prove he is lying about his income. I am feeling much better about all of that, but I will be feeling a lot better when everything is all done with. The really good news is that it doesn't look like the boys will have to spend any time in court (something I wanted to protect them from.), so at least I won't have to worry about that!

Thanks again everyone....I will keep you updated.

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