How do you explain it?

[Born4it]

I'll preface by saying that I'm well aware that this is a loaded question, but wanted to pose it to some fellow Christians who also do their best to be good husbands, fathers, wives, and mothers. I'm 26 years old and have been with my wife for almost 6 years, married for over 3. Before we were married, she never had a care in the world about me hunting a fair amount come Fall. Since we've been married, I've cut back the amount of time I spend in the woods quite a bit, and since we had our daughter a few months ago, I've cut back more again. I'm happy to do it. I love my girls, and I love spending time with them.

Since we've been married, and especially since we've had our daughter, my wife has become less and less understanding of me wanting to go deer hunting. I won't bore you with all of the details and reasons I like hunting, because I'd be preaching to the choir. I was raised with it, being outdoors, etc. It's in my blood. Anyhow, she simply doesn't understand, and I can't necessarily say that I blame her for not understanding. She doesn't go, she doesn't care to, and she never has. That's just her. What I/we really struggle with is that I take a handful of days off work to go every November, and I go on probably 8 other Saturdays throughout the season.

She tells me I'm "choosing hunting over my family." I realize whether I agree with her or not, something needs to change, because I don't want her to feel like that. Though she says this isn't what she wants, I really think that she'd be happy if I sold all of my hunting stuff and never went again. Maybe this is insensitive, but I'm willing to compromise...not come 100% her direction. I really hope you guys hear my heart and don't think I'm just being a selfish jerk. I do everything I can to make my girls happy, and I'm involved in anything I can be with them. I'm just curious if you've gone through things like this with your spouses and if there's a great way to go about explaining why you hunt and that you're not choosing it over them. I'd certainly appreciate any advice from you all.

Thanks, and God bless,

Ryan

[535hunter]

Maybe its more so that your daughter is still young and it stresses her out that you wouldn't be there to help. I agree with you on compromising but 100%. I am assuming you work and would like free.time also so don't give up everything. Just endure through this then when your daughter is old enough bring he along with you. My wife is with our son all day and night. Hardly gets a break so when I can then I help out but she is a bit more easy on me when it comes to hunting but not so much during the off season. I would say help out as much as she is willing to let you and hope that you can slip away for a few hours. Oh I had this problem with my buddy and his wife. We did a all day hunt which wasn't the best idea we have had but anyway she got furious that he didn't leave the woods for a few hours. Needless to say he wasn't in the woods tthe next day. I don't know if you are an all day guy or not but something to ponder. Not much help frombthis way just some insight.

[Ravin R10 man]

I take it she did not grow up in a hunting family or otherwise she would understand fully. One has to remind her that as your daughters grow up they will be introduced into this lifestyle also. I truely believe hunting gives youth a focus to a holsum activity and can keep them from entering into things you do not want them to get involved in.

Time spent outdoors charges your batteries and puts food on your table. You probably should have been involving her right from day one in shooting /hunting..

I have never had a problem of NOT being able to go hunting..other than attending school events and such.

A correction needs to be made soon..and I dont mean you.

[Dawg]

My wife grew up in a place called Scrappin' Valley.....it's located in the back woods of deep east Texas. Horses, cows, hogs, goats, chickens...the whole nine. Country as country could get. She was raised on wild game and the occasional yard bird and "pet" pig. You would think that a man would have it made.....I mean here's a girl that knows what hunting is all about......but partner, I went thru the same thing you are when we were newly weds. I'm sure the situation will eventually smooth out, it did for me. However, it took time and compromise on my end. Cutting out a lot of time in the woods was part of it........and I survived. Women and men aren't wired the same, women are emotional creatures whereas we men.....not so much. In her mind, yaw have a newborn and she thinks you should be there as much as possible.......and I can't say I really blame her for that. Enjoy your time with your wife and baby......even when the rut is in full swing and the big boys showing up in the daytime.....you won't regret it in 10 years and by that time your young one will be old enough to go with you. And between now and then, the times you will get to go will be that much more special.

[wtnhunt]

My wife grew up around hunting but never was into hunting herself and don't think she really understood when we first got married, luckily I was able to get her into hunting by getting her interest up. Sharing my stories with her really helped get her more interested. Took a few years and took some time getting her shooting and out around the property, but now she hunts and understands completely. If you know any women that hunt, maybe ask them to help you out.

I did not go a lot when we first got married though, pretty well the first few weekends of the gun season was it, when we moved to our property I got to go a bit more and after our oldest daughter got old enough to tag along I got out more and more. When your daughter gets a little older take her, take her when conditions are good, and when you come back be sure to share your stories and enthusiasm/excitement with the family(wife). She may not want to hear them, but then again she might.

[Ravin R10 man]

I understand needing you home to help out with little ones raising them is a tough job...A FULL time job IMO

you also need time in the tree stand to get AWAY..AS DOES YOUR WIFE however that looks like for her...

[abrown]

Hang in there bud, I love to hunt ALOT too, my wife kind of breaks the mold as far as women go, but she still hits me about my hunting. They don't quite understand it's not about blasting away at something or the need to KILL something, but the memories that are made and lessons learned in the deer woods! I love the outdoors SO much I went to school for it, and am very blessed to be a Park Ranger on a lake, so every morning I get to sit at my desk and look at the lake. Only thing I can say is, stick to your guns and just let her know, that family will ALWAYS come first! I took my 3 year old daughter hunting the other day, walked around a couple fields, she was wanting me shoot something, we did see a young buck, but the thought of shooting something with her that young, and thinking that was the ONLY thing it was about didn't sit right with me, I tried to explain we want to only shoot old deer, not babies or young ones. That's a hard topic trying to explain to a 3 year old. Hang in there bud, try to get your family involved, then your wife will be out numbered!

[PotashRLS]

These folks are right as I have been there and still am to a good extent. It is hard no doubt. Unfortunately the word compromise in yours and my case means what WE are willing to give up, not the girls. Just the truth of the matter.

In your case I suspect with your very young daughter your wife has some hormonal changes taking place with being a new Mom. Newly nested Moms can have entirely different outlooks on life after giving birth. Things will level out with time, especially when your daughter hits that 2-3 year old range. She'll be able to go more with you on little trips to the woods and such. Good luck.