I'm worried........


redkneck

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So my Dad should retire this Feb. Would have retired a few years ago but needed to regain some ground after the 401k plunge of 08.

he took a spill in 08 when he slipped and fell in his den and had a spinal cord injury. He was completely paralyzed for weeks and had to learn to walk again. Most would have sought disability, but not pop, he still works as an electrician, but he walks funny and has the strength of a ten year old. But he's a hard worker.

He still climbs ladders and works hard even though his balance is not good.

But today I skipped church, had a lot to do, needed rear brakes on my car, front pads on the wife's, plus an oil change. And I had borrowed dads tractor to disc at my lease.

My tranny felt like it was slipping as I drove up the hill at the camp last week so pop volunteered to haul it back the thirty miles to the house.

Here's the problem, I met him this morning, we hooked the trailer up and all he needed to do was back up to a bank that always works better than a ramp bc it doesn't lift the front of the truck up.

After I guided him onto the ball all he had to do was back the trailer up and make a turn then pull forward and back to the bank.

Took him forever. He clearly had cognitive issues figuring out which way to turn the wheel. I dared not hop off the tractor to offer to drive, but finally just killed the tractor while I waited. A two minute job turned into ten.

Dimensia maybe, I don't know. Very concerning though, I almost cried sitting there on the tractor watching the man that used to be the teacher of how to back up a trailer only a couple decades ago.

Maybe should have been a blog, idk, most won't read, but I welcome your opinions.

Edited by redkneck
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I'm dealing with this now with my mom ,,, we had to place her into a nursing home for 24 hour care because my 73 year old dad just couldn't care for her on his own ,,, it's a tough thing to have the ones that guided us through life now need us for the simple things. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Edited by VermontHunter
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I know how you feel John. My father is in a nursing home after 3 strokes and I had to put my mother in assisted living 1 1/2 years ago because of her memory issues...yep dementia. She's gradually getting worse.

You may want to sit down and talk about your concerns with him. You might even suggest taking him to see a neurologist. I went through that with my mother.

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That's sad to hear.

But it's a thing we all must face.

I watched my dad grow old, then sick, then pass away about 12 years ago.

It seems the roles get reversed and you will be the stronger, smarter one.

He will need your help and your patience. Give him that. As he gave to you when you were little and couldn't do things on your own.

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Prayers go out to you. I work in a senior assisted living home where we mainly have Dementia and Alzheimer's patients. It's very hard to see day by day what functions and memories are lost but all you can do is be there for him. That is key, so he knows he is not alone and it will be hard when he doesn't know who you are but now that roles have shifted you have to be his rock. I do recommend seeing a specialist, as hoosierhunter said there are drugs to help slow it down and advice on how you can help to cope with it.

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Good luck with the talk with him John. Dunno about your situation, but sometimes those we try to help fight it or deny it, might want to be prepared just in case. I hope for his own sake and your family's that he will go along with getting a thorough checkup. One good thing is there are a lot of better advances in medicines, new drugs to slow the process. We been dealing with issues with my mother for a while, she has had heart issues and also just recently been diagnosed with alzheimers.

Sad thing is with regs as long as the person can walk talk and potty on their own they cannot force them into assisted living. An elderly person with memory issues can be a real threat to themself due to inability to recall important information such as how to get home or where it is safe to walk, simple things we may take for granted. It can be very frustrating.

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as you may remember, i watched my wife die of dymentia a couple years ago. from what you say, i guess it's either dymentia or a mini stroke. tell you dad your concerns and how you love him, and take him to a neurologist. just last summer i had a mini stroke (which i see from your letter) and just could not do things. mine was a plaque buildup on a coridid artery and easily fixed. anyway, prayers are with you. steve

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Thank you all. I hadn't really thought of a mini stroke Steve, that actually sounds better than the other possibilities lol.

I did have a long talk with my mother today and yes she was shocked by the trailer backing episode but said it was the first time she had noticed a cognitive problem like that.

She's going to be watching him closely. I know you've all heard it before, but yes I'll say it again, go out with your Dad (and mom) while you can, life is short, and I'm fortunate both my parents are still living but you realize too soon they can't keep going like they used too, just like last year when I wanted to take pop to the forum elk hunt and he told me he couldn't physically do it.

Life is short, live it while you can.

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I am new here, just want you to know, I am 36 and have the same problem. it is not of a stroke. I fell 36 feet off a bridge and broke my back in 4 places and my neck twice. the reason he does these things as I is, nerve damage in the neck. the swelling over the years and from the injury slows the reaction time, and makes even the simplest of thought train difficult because your body even speech can't keep up with your mind. it is difficult to go through. I would recomend simple exercise, sounds crazy, but it does help get the mind and body back to the same place. he will never totaly get over it, but with a little help will get better.i

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If it is an isolated incident, perhaps he was just tired or having trouble seeing? Still would encourage checking into it.

tia's are a possibility. Problem from what I understand is sometimes they cannot identify them like they can with strokes. Vascular dementia can result from strokes or even mini strokes though. My wife has worked with elderly in nursing homes on and off since 1993, thankful she has been able to help explain some of this stuff to me with conversations about my mother.

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