public school systems, teachers....

[wtnhunt]

We had been pretty lucky with our 3 daughters and their teachers over the years.  Had a few that were not so great, but for the most part our daughters have done pretty well and the teachers they have had have helped keep them interested enough to get them through without having any major hurdles.  

Our oldest, now 21, did have one very old teacher that should have retired that was lousy.  Teacher said the kid was not smart enough as there were other smarter kids in the class.  I asked for our daughter to be tested for gifted, that teacher/school refused and the next school year due to some garbage with the justice dept, district zoning and one other local school we had to move her to a different school system further away.  Anyways, that new to her school later recognized she was gifted, they contacted us and asked about testing her and they tested her and sure enough she tested intellectually with an iq of 130 something.  She went on to graduate with honors and scored one of the highest ACT score ever by a student from the high school she graduated from, hardly "not smart enough".

Our other 2 daughters are still in the same county school system and both are advanced well above their grade levels.  This brings me to my issue.  Our 6 year old son is challenged.  Not intellectually but with something else that is going on that there is NO diagnosis for.  He did not talk his first words til nearly three years old and has several issues such as sensory issues consistent with autism, however he is not autistic.  We have had him tested by child specialists and they recognize he is a little different and have documented that he displays "atypical behaviors".  During one of our meetings last year, it was suggested to have him tested by the professionals that come into the school.  He has a pretty high iq,  118 but falls just short of what they consider "intellectually gifted".  At the midway point of kindergarten he was blowing away his teacher and reading on a 5th grade level, however he does have behavioral issues that that teacher took the time to work with him on.  That teacher is young, had only been teaching like 5 years.  Unfortunately she moved to another school, but the special education teachers at that school are very aware of his being a little different.  Like his sisters, he consistently scores high on the standardized testing, and he is ahead on most levels, but behind with social skills and still has behavioral issues that can be frustrating to deal with.  He does have some speech issues as well and gets speech services at the school to help with that.  

His first grade teacher this year has sent home some pretty ugly notes.  The notes have an angry tone about how our child is disrupting her class and keeping her from teaching her class.  No real explanation with these notes other than to say he is not following rules or not listening, a little context as to what rules he is not following might helps us address the issue at home.  Yesterdays note said that she and the special education teacher observed our son and they documented his behaviors, evidently this first grade teacher has been documenting his behaviors since day 2 or 3 of school being back in.  My wife had just talked with the special ed teacher yesterday and she agreed that she needed to share with his first grade teacher about how he is a little different.  When Will gets upset or frustrated he will shut down and you get less than satisfactory results with him.  Continuing to push him when he becomes frustrated or upset only compounds the issues and is more likely to cause him to display negative behaviors.  Went from him hiding under tables and crying at the start of his school in pre K to the teachers taking a different approach and getting more out of him.  

This teacher is proud that she has been teaching for almost 25 years.  Maybe she has been teaching too long and has become too set in her ways to realize that some students may not be all the same and may require a little different approach than they are used to.  Her expectation for him to suddenly conform to what a 6 year old little boy is supposed to be is probably a bit unrealistic.  She has demanded a meeting to discuss/tell us what we are doing wrong at home in dealing with his behaviors, fine I wanted a meeting anyway.  We have quarterly meeting with the special education teachers anyway, so maybe we can get out ahead of these issues and they can get her in the know as to that this child is different and the "bad" she is seeing in him that she does not understand may not be his trying to be bad but rather issues he may not know how to deal with.  We got notes home last year from his kindergarten teacher, but never of the type we have gotten this year, school just started back the first of August, he has had a note home nearly every day with little detail, just that he is being bad or not following rules.  

We don't expect a teacher to change everything about how she/he teaches, but we do expect some understanding.  So, going into a meeting, I plan to have an open mind with regards to this teacher.  But, I am seriously thinking that if this type of thing continues with her focusing on negative and upsetting him that we will have to talk with the principal and see about getting him into a different class.  

Should we ask the principal to sit in?

How would you address a teacher that seems to have no grasp on your childs "special needs" in a public school.  The school system itself for the most part is good and we had been pretty happy with how they have worked with him up til now.  

[The Bug House]

Yes, definitely have the Principal in on the meeting. It sounds to me as if his current teacher is completely unaware of his "condition" (For lack of a better term) IMO public education really sticks to the "one size fits all" when it comes to learning style ... especially older teachers. Not that there aren't awful newer teachers and stellar ones with lots of experience.  If I was in your shoes, I'd make it clear that her expectations are likely unrealistic and try to identify more obtainable goals and guidelines for him in the classroom. Is he eligible for an IEP? If you don't have one already, it may be worth looking into. 2 of my girls have medical issues, and we have 504 plans in place for them ... I admittedly have little knowledge of an actual IEP, however I believe that once that plan is in place the childs educators, and other staff, are held accountable to that plan.

Good luck, I hope the school year smooths out for you guys and your boy has a great year.

[hammerforged]

I would definitely ask the principal to sit in as well as the special education teachers that are aware of his challenges.  My wife teaches at the SC School for the Deaf and Blind and has for over 30 years, I know all too well from talking with her that there are indeed some teachers out there who should no longer be teaching because they have an "It is my way and that is the only way no matter the individual." attitude.  I hope this is not the case with your son's teacher.  Good luck.

[wtnhunt]

3 hours ago, The Bug House said:

Yes, definitely have the Principal in on the meeting. It sounds to me as if his current teacher is completely unaware of his "condition" (For lack of a better term) IMO public education really sticks to the "one size fits all" when it comes to learning style ... especially older teachers. Not that there aren't awful newer teachers and stellar ones with lots of experience.  If I was in your shoes, I'd make it clear that her expectations are likely unrealistic and try to identify more obtainable goals and guidelines for him in the classroom. Is he eligible for an IEP? If you don't have one already, it may be worth looking into. 2 of my girls have medical issues, and we have 504 plans in place for them ... I admittedly have little knowledge of an actual IEP, however I believe that once that plan is in place the childs educators, and other staff, are held accountable to that plan.

Good luck, I hope the school year smooths out for you guys and your boy has a great year.

Yes, we usually have quarterly iep meetings but have not yet had the first one for this school year.  The special ed teachers have been in the iep meetings,  in the past the vice principal sat in on a few as well but she has moved to another school this year.  

The individual education plan we just set goals and review where he is at each meeting with regards to the goals.  The goals are set to be realistic goals and once achieved new goals are set.  

[Ravin R10 man]

I was part of the 4:29 crowd;