stevebeilgard Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions first, let the kid be a kid. he'll be grown up soon enough. second, let him choose what he wants to do. let him make his own mistakes or accomplishments. finally, people will tell him what to do (and where to go) soon enough, as an adult. tell hubby to give him some slack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricfirefighter Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions let him do what he wants i watch myself real close on this subject cause i have 2 boys they do what they want not what i want its hard sometimes but you have to let them make the choice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuntingInMaine Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions I'm not a guy, but I just went through the same situation with my oldest son. He wanted to join the choir, but his father said no son of his was going to be a #@#*$&@#$&^% . Your husband needs to be reminded (gently) that he can't relive his glory days through his son. Maybe your son will grow up to be the next great musician, and that is certainly something to be proud of. No matter what he choses, your son should do what makes him happy. As long as your son chooses an activity that brings him joy, and it isn't detrimental to his well being, you should support him. I don't understand the "girly" comment you added to the end. It's time to get rid of the stereotypes that people are constantly putting on others. I doubt you would put up with being called butch or any other uneducated stereotype because you hunt. I can't think of any activity that should be only for girls, and nothing that should be only for boys! It seems that females are allowed to be anything they want to be and there is h### to pay if we are put down for it, but males still have to be a "manly man" or they are labeled gay. What if your son has a God given talent to make beautiful music on a flute? Should he hide his talent because someone thinks it is somehow less than manly? Why is one instrument "girly" and another is "manly"? I had to take a music appreciation class in college and a very handsome, muscular man came in and gave the most beautiful flute presentation. He left with an equally attractive girlfriend. He has a great talent and the world would be denied the music he makes if he had decided the instrument was too feminine. Plus, that man had the undivided attention of every woman in the class and I can assure you not one of us was thinking he was "light in the loafers" because he played the flute! I guess I have gone on and on, but my point is that this is your son's life and he is the one who has to live it. As long as what he decides isn't harmful to him, he should be allowed to do it! JMO... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superguide Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions Of course let him be in band-as far as not forcing kids to do things it depends on the kid to some extent. My oldest daughter was quite timid when she was younger-I never let her back out of things and she thanked me just the other day for that she's 16 now-in fact she complained that I should of pushed her harder to play hockey. As for making choices I see alot of teenagers who if left to their own choices don't do a heck of alot-nintendo and t.v. aren't options on my outfit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions johnf.....I completely understand where you are coming from. I was in band from 7th grade til I graduated. It was the most rewarding experience I had in school. And you are right about the opportunities it provides. I have the utmost respect for band directors and music teachers. The ONLY thing I miss about school is being in band. I cried the night I walked off the football field for the last time my senior year. And I would be VERY proud of my son if he chooses to play an instrument. I just don't want it to seem to him like I am pressuring him to do that. And to be honest...if he chooses to be a football player, I would be just as proud. I have told my son about all the trips we took while in band (Pegasus parade at Kentucky derby, New York City, Nashville, marching competitions in front of THOUSANDS of people, etc., etc.,) He watches the movie "Drumline" over and over and over. And though he never sings aloud where I can hear him, I know he can carry a tune. He's so excited about this that I am starting to get excited too. My husband will get over it. As long as our son is doing something instead of being a kid who does absolutely nothing...he'll be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions HuntinginMaine--------the girly comment is based soley on the fact that I know how mean and rude kids are. My son is definitely all boy, but he is constantly being picked on for his size and stature. To put a flute in his hands is almost like sealing his fate. I won't let that happen. He has no desire to play it anyway, he is leaning toward the drums. But I am not the type of person who judges people like that. I am going strictly by what my son has endured so far in his short school life. I am also going by my own experience in band. The guys who played the instruments like flute and clarinet were ALWAYS tormented by others. And they were fabulous musicians! No it is NOT fair, but that's how kids are. If I want my son to enjoy his decision to be in music, I cannot put him in that position. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions While I do stress to the kids that there are no boy ore girl instruments, I do encourage the boys on the brass, percussion and Saxophone. Girls I try to encourage the trombone and trumpet. They tend to want to play the flute and clarinet and the school that I teach does not let HS boys be in band and athletics, but girls can. So I try to get as many girls on those horns as possible. If he's pretty outgoing I would probibly suggest the trumpet or drums. A good trumpet player gets a lot of attention. After playing a solo at a pep rally I met the first cheerleader that I dated. She punched me in the back and said "nice job" That's flirtting for a 14 year old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions [ QUOTE ] While I do stress to the kids that there are no boy ore girl instruments, I do encourage the boys on the brass, percussion and Saxophone. Girls I try to encourage the trombone and trumpet. They tend to want to play the flute and clarinet and the school that I teach does not let HS boys be in band and athletics, but girls can. So I try to get as many girls on those horns as possible. If he's pretty outgoing I would probibly suggest the trumpet or drums. A good trumpet player gets a lot of attention. After playing a solo at a pep rally I met the first cheerleader that I dated. She punched me in the back and said "nice job" That's flirtting for a 14 year old. [/ QUOTE ] Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What kind of school does NOT allow boys in band or athletics????? What CAN they do??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkeygirl Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions Playing an instrument does not make a boy a girly guy,lol. We'eve talked about this in my recreation classes about how in society, females are typically raised to do the traditional girl things, males to do the traditional boy thing. No offense but your husband sounds like he is one of those that thinks guys shouldn't do any things but what guys typically do, meaning he wants to avoid non-traditional roles. If your son wants to play an instrument, go for it and support him! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popgun Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions huntin_girl: I think he said "band and athletics" at the same time. .....popgun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions Ooops, you're right popgun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 25, 2005 Report Share Posted March 25, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions The problem at the school is that we are on block schedule there is a block for each athletics class. With this schedule I have to be accross one athletics class. Statistics show that the least amount of effect would be loosing the HS Boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadHuntinPastor Posted March 25, 2005 Report Share Posted March 25, 2005 Re: need guys\' opinions Double check your school policies. I was very athletic played 4 years of HS soccer 3 of basketball 1 indoor track and 2 of football. Played 4 years in the band and senior year sang in our auditioned Madrigal Choir. Got to play a trumpet solo in my football uniform too. absence the pads. Went on to be a music major in College and played 4 years of soccer and 2 of basketball. He doesn't have to give either up. He should be able to decide for himself and if he doesn't want to do one then he shouldn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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