Living Will template.


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Living Will

I, _________________ being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely

by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the

hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if

their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a

cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse,

children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes

and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a

special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that

these boneheads mind their own **** business, and pay attention instead

to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who

aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case .

I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge

for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play

politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to

legislators in which they pretend to care about me.

I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to

preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business,

too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a

political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make

his or her existence a living ****.

__Signiture on File_____________________________________

Signature

___Signiture on file____________________________________

Witness

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