Rules For Turkey Hunting

[HuntingInMaine]

Don't know if this has been posted yet, but I found it in "Turkey Call's" March/April 2004 issue and thought it was pretty funny.

-The weatherman is a no-good, rotten, low-down liar: If he says it's going to be cloudy, rainy, windy, or foggy, it will be clear as a bell and still as a tomb at daybreak, if, and only if, you sleep in.

-Must be present to win: You can't kill them if you home on the couch.

-The law of property lines is inversely proportinate: The more property you have to hunt, the closer the turkeys will be to property lines. If you have 4,000 acres to hunt, all the turkeys on your property will be roosted within 40 yards of the property line.

-Murphy's Law 2: What can go wrong will go wrong - squared.

-Two's company - Three's a crowd Multiplier Effect: Two people are four times as hard to hide as one. Three people are nine times as hard to hide as one.

-The pendulum always swings back. If you had a great season last year, you'll pay for it this year. Brace yourself.

-Boyd's Law of Entomology - Bugs will gravitate to the head and face directly proportionate to how close the turkey is to you. A bull gnat crawling in the corner of your right eye as you aim is only okay for left-handed shooters.

-If in doubt, don't. If you wonder whether you should call or move to get closer, or he's close enough to shoot, don't.

There are two acceptable oucomes to every turkey hunt:

--"We amicably agreed to split our assets down the middle, and parted company."

--"We consummated the relationship, and I let him ride in my pickup truck."

Corky Pugh

[buckbuster11]

Re: Rules For Turkey Hunting

LMAO...so true!!