christsavedme Posted July 7, 2005 Report Share Posted July 7, 2005 Doctor Wal-Mart One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure. He then went back to WalMart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits. In ten seconds the computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better. And, as always, thank you for shopping at WalMart. Thanks to Joe F. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeramie Posted July 7, 2005 Report Share Posted July 7, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? Lol, Ive heard that one a looooooooooooong time ago. Great joke! Thanks for the reminder, I better tell it a few times today... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted July 7, 2005 Report Share Posted July 7, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? hehe ------- that's an oldy but a GOODIE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted July 7, 2005 Report Share Posted July 7, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? I must live in a cave. Never heard it, and I like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadHuntinPastor Posted July 7, 2005 Report Share Posted July 7, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? Never heard it......but in the words of Homer Simpson......DOOOH!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarvDog Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? That's pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griz Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? LMBO... That's a good one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutchies Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? That is pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeNRA Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
too_pointer Posted July 8, 2005 Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? New too me, that was funny, thanks too_ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archerjg Posted July 9, 2005 Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? That is funny. Archerjg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reloader Posted July 9, 2005 Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? My head must be in a hole as well ...never heard it...but I loved it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted July 9, 2005 Report Share Posted July 9, 2005 Re: Anybody need a DR? now that's my kind of humor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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