Say What?

[MCH]

Re: Say What?

[ QUOTE ]

wish in one hand and #beep# in the other see witch one gets you the farthest

[/ QUOTE ]

Everytime I asked for something, my grandma would tell me, "Hold out one hand and stick the other one under you....see which one gets full first."

Never tried it...

[AaronS]

Re: Say What?

Funny, my grandpa always said "You can wish in one hand and *beep* in the other and see which one weighs the most."

[c_lou]

Re: Say What?

Another favorite of mine is:

You'll be walking with 3 shoes, 2 on your feet, and 1 in your ***(3 letter word for behind).

[browning_gold_12]

Re: Say What?

i will hit you so hard, you will starve to death rolling.

when someone hits a 400 ft bomb over the fence we yell, "ooooooohhhhh, you didnt know?"

is a 40 lb gnat fat?

if you are not gonna use your head, you might as well have 2 ****es.

standing there like a calf looking at a new gate.

my mom told me one time she would slap me naked and hide my clothes.

the more i try to teach you, the dumber i get.

you ever had a lung knocked loose?

i could go on and on, but thats enough for now, i am full of these things. working at the FD, and in the oil fields on my off days, you hear a million of them.

[Tominator]

Re: Say What?

[ QUOTE ]

i will hit you so hard, you will starve to death rolling.

when someone hits a 400 ft bomb over the fence we yell, "ooooooohhhhh, you didnt know?"

is a 40 lb gnat fat?

if you are not gonna use your head, you might as well have 2 ****es.

standing there like a calf looking at a new gate.

my mom told me one time she would slap me naked and hide my clothes.

the more i try to teach you, the dumber i get.

you ever had a lung knocked loose?

i could go on and on, but thats enough for now, i am full of these things. working at the FD, and in the oil fields on my off days, you hear a million of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Keep 'em coming. Those ones are great. Don't get the home run one though. Polish must be coming through.

I like the calf one. Gonna' use that one for sure.

My football coach used to yell at us when we were wandering around "STOP WANDERING AROUND LIKE SHEEP IN A BLIZZARD."

Usually got us moving.

[Smitteken]

Re: Say What?

"Pull up your skirt and hit it like a man." watching someone hit a nail.

or... "hit it with your purse, Sally."

When people start a sentence with "IF..." I always say "IF...frogs had pockets they'd carry guns, and snakes wouldn't mess (@#$%) with them."

Or "I WANT..." I respond "People in He11 want ice water. But do they get it?"

[c_lou]

Re: Say What?

Since it's Fantasy Football season a good one to use when somebody makes a pick is:

I guess your wife told you who to pick. Or, Is this going to be your wife's team or yours?

[Guest chicks_hunt_to]

Re: Say What?

if guns kill people

1. penciles miss spel words

2. cars make people drive durnk

3. spoons made rosey odonald fat

[VtBowhunter]

Re: Say What?

-I'm gonna beat you like a redheaded stepchild.

-Conversation I had after whoopin' a guys butt in front of his buddy (his buddy started it).....

him..... "You need anger management"

me......"I already had it"

him....."apparently it didn't work"

me......"yes it did"

him....."really looks it" pointing at his buddy laying on the ground.

me....."Well he's not dead is he?"

When a guy recently referred to my 4 year old son as a "*bleepin* retard"........The way I see it you have 2 choices......appologize or bleed.......and appologies don't mean BLEEP to me.

What my father told me when I was young........Never start a fight but if somebody starts one with you, you dang well finish it.

[Texan_Til_I_Die]

Re: Say What?

Your village just called. They want their idiot back.

Mess with me and I'll snatch you bald!

[browning_gold_12]

Re: Say What?

i'll be on you like:

rust on a pump handle

red ants on a spilled snow cone

fire ants on a fish head

white on rice on a paper plate in a snowstorm

i'll put a pump knot on your head big enough :

for a calf to suck on

to hitch a bass boat to

it will need an umbilical cord

it will need a social security number

i will hit you so many times from so many different directions, you will be screaming ya'll quit

there are only two things between us, fear of God and common sesnse, which one is holding you back?

if i tell you a chicken dips snuff, you better check under his wing for a can

if i tell you a little bitty black ant can pull a freight train, you better hook him up.

when ifs and buts are candy and nuts, it will be Christmas every day.

if a bullfrog had wings, he wouldnt bump his butt when he hops.

you better dont!

it dont make me no nevermind.

me too neither also.

who said.

[markyj987]

Re: Say What?

"I'm not going to waste my breath and get into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."

"Oh, that's a good one. Did you make that up all by yourself? Your mother must be sooo proud."

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

(useful in Wisconsin only)

"Hmph...you must be a Bears fan."