HarvDog Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender." MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master_Chief Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM LMBO that was awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oo_buck Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM OUCH!!! Hope the wife don't see this HD.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarvDog Posted September 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM [ QUOTE ] OUCH!!! Hope the wife don't see this HD.... [/ QUOTE ] I've already emailed it to her...haven't heard back yet though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohiobucks Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM [ QUOTE ] 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake. [/ QUOTE ] LMBO!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCH Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM Circulating around my bank as I type... Priceless... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutchies Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM LOL, Sounds just like my sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM Ummmmmmmmmmmm...........I take offense to that Mr. Harvey. I can honestly say that DOES NOT apply to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should re-title that. Maybe Men and Ditzy Airheads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huntinsonovagun Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM LOL.....that's a good 'en... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarvDog Posted September 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM [ QUOTE ] Ummmmmmmmmmmm...........I take offense to that Mr. Harvey. I can honestly say that DOES NOT apply to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should re-title that. Maybe Men and Ditzy Airheads. [/ QUOTE ] LOL...just passing it along! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nosdog2 Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM LOL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lobsterman Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM LOL..yep thats a good one.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion_70 Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM I'm probably that irate male driver behind them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bowhunterforlife Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM Now i finally have the answer why it takes"certain" females so long at the atm! thanks Harvdog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Ummmmmmmmmmmm...........I take offense to that Mr. Harvey. I can honestly say that DOES NOT apply to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should re-title that. Maybe Men and Ditzy Airheads. [/ QUOTE ] LOL...just passing it along! [/ QUOTE ] Don't shoot the messenger, huh??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texan_Til_I_Die Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM Happened to me yesterday afternoon! I swear it took this lady in front of me a solid 5 minutes to do whatever. It took me about 1 minute to make a withdrawal and check my balance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billygoat Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM ROFLMA, however Mrs. Billygoat isn't! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smitteken Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM I always forget the first part of step 5. I don't know how many times I've left my card in the machine. Luckily I live in a small town and the ladies at the bank always retrieve it for me. I get distracted easily. I always lose focus when I get my receipt and see that there is still money left in my account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM great one Harvdog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIG_BUCK_1 Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM LOL!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest INHunterman Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM Nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun_300 Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM LMAO! That's hilarious Harv! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Finn Posted September 13, 2005 Report Share Posted September 13, 2005 Re: ATM [ QUOTE ] Ummmmmmmmmmmm...........I take offense to that Mr. Harvey. I can honestly say that DOES NOT apply to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should re-title that. Maybe Men and Ditzy Airheads. [/ QUOTE ] But you gotta admit....that's funny right there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dartonman Posted September 14, 2005 Report Share Posted September 14, 2005 Re: ATM Add one to it...cant find atm card, bum husbands......my wife is guilty of all of the above, and I love her greatly for it.....lol..........al Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archerjg Posted September 14, 2005 Report Share Posted September 14, 2005 Re: ATM That was pretty good. Archerjg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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