Tominator Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 Memo from Santa I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve Georgia, Florida, West Virginia, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana or Alabama on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences such as: 1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can handy 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty. 5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw." And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat." 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words " Back Off" 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally, 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. Git'er done! Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c_lou Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... That's funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alisha Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... Well I reckon. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrow32 Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... thats funny lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chigger1 Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... thats funny right there i dont care who ya are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogdoc Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... [ QUOTE ] Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC cola [/ QUOTE ] I guess that's better than a cold bud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elkhntnfool Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... I don't care who you that's funny right there. That's gotta be straight out of the heart of redneck country.lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BowJoe Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... Man that's friggin hilarious!!!!! You need to send that to Jeff Foxworthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swamphunter Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC cola [/ QUOTE ] I guess that's better than a cold bud [/ QUOTE ] Can't find RC cola in my neck of the woods anymore.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HitRmisS Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... lmbo...thats a good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIG_BUCK_1 Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... that is good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... lmb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IowaDeerHunter Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... That is great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... That is hilarious. [ QUOTE ] I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. [/ QUOTE ] ROFLMBO . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oo_buck Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Re: Santa Regrets, but............... her'd dat...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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