Jeramie Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 I had these emailed to me.... They are worth a laugh, enjoy. Headlines from the year 2035 * Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. * Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. * Baby conceived naturally . Scientists stumped. * Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. * Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon). * Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. * France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. * Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. * George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. * Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. * Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. * Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. * Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. * Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. * Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. * New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. * Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. * Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. * IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. * Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michiganbowhunter_SQ2 Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! [ QUOTE ] Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. [/ QUOTE ] This one was my favorite ...those are pretty good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swamphunter Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest INHunterman Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archerjg Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! Those are good ones. Archerjg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! good stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IowaDeerHunter Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! LOL! Those are funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! Those are pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master_Chief Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! Very good. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrow32 Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c_lou Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! Those are funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest huntinsanobsession Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! good laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beagleboy Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! funny stuff there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newarcher Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! Here's one: Democrats have finally realized their utopian dream for America......French troups have stormed the nations Capitol and are flying a French flag over the White House. New Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oo_buck Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Re: Headlines from the Future! * Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Kind of reminds me of a comedian's bit a few years back that went something like this...... "Seems like everything is responsible for causing cancer."........................... "Wait til they discover that cancer is hereditary in lab rats...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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