Is this Canada?


doughboy1956

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Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website

(frightening, isn't it)!

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!!!!!.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (UK)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: Depends on how fast you run.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a

list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (UK )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country ...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come at 8 pm..

Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (UK)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we ll send the rest of the directions. Some of us are so far North, you have to face south, to face North.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (Sweden)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is.. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come at 9 pm.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.

Can you sell it in Canada? (UK)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Brits gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, a town called Boston Bar.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (UK)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (France)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking, while making short loud grunting noises.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (UK)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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Re: Is this Canada?

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Those are hilarious!! I don't quite get the one about asking for a list of ATM's and then answering what did your last slave die of.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol i think it means somethin like there are so many ATM's in those cities that you would practically die trying to find them, and that part about how the last slave died was saying what other random impossible feats do you ask other people to do or something like that if that makes any sense whatsoever lol confused.gifblush.giftongue.gif

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Re: Is this Canada?

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Those are too funny!

I have another question. Do the Canadian people have great sense of humor?? grin.gifRanger

[/ QUOTE ]

You betcha|||

Canada's most prominent cultural export remains humour---- a list that includes Jim Carry, Mike Myers Martin Short, Eugene Levey, Catherine O'Hara, Dave Foley, Samantha Bee, Norm Macdonald, Leslie Nielson, Michael J Fox, Tom Green, Dan Aykroyd and the late departed luminaries Phil Hartman and John Candy. smile.gifgrin.gif

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