muggs Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Let me start this by saying: I'm asking this to clarify, not to start an argument. I just don't understand why most religions are so uptight about sex. IMO...and it's just MO, it's a perfectly naturally thing to do, many other religions actually embrace this fact. So why are most western religions so bent on abstinence. To me (again, just stating my opinion) it seems that some religions attempt to guilt people into not having sex. I don't understand it, and I have my own opinions of it...can someone who please fill me in with their religion's stance on the matter... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion I think according to some religions sex is viewed as being supposed to only be for creating life. I think they try to make the pleasure side of sex out to be a sin. Exactly why this is so I am not fully sure. Maybe in some sort of way they think it will lead followers astray??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadian_Goose Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion Muggs where were you... we could have used you in the abstinence debate . Well unfourtunately I cannot answer your question for you, but I have no doubt that there are a few people in here that will be more than happy to help you out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion Some christian denominations along with catholics teach that sex is only the means to which procreation is done. This is not only crazy IMO, but not biblical. One must only read the song of solomon to know that God created the physical relation for not only procreation but more importantly IMO as a means to show affection and for pure enjoyment. As for abstinence, it is the best way to lead up to the best possible relationship of a husband and wife, not to mention if you remain abstinant untill marrage you can be guarenteed never to have an STD or a kid at the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted March 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] As for abstinence, it is the best way to lead up to the best possible relationship of a husband and wife, not to mention if you remain abstinant untill marrage you can be guarenteed never to have an STD or a kid at the wedding. [/ QUOTE ] John, I agree with you about not wanting to have a kid...or an STD But I know my girlfriend and I don't allow past relationships to effect our own relationship. We're both adults and realize that we have our own lives to lead, being together is just a bonus...sometimes not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] it is the best way to lead up to the best possible relationship of a husband and wife [/ QUOTE ] It is the best, not the only for sure, but the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted March 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] it is the best way to lead up to the best possible relationship of a husband and wife [/ QUOTE ] It is the best, not the only for sure, but the best. [/ QUOTE ] yeah, I'd agree with that, I'll never know for sure though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion This is no doubt a pretty heavy duty topic, just like many we've had in the past here. The subject is covered pretty well in the bible, but you can't get the full meaning out of just a few verses. It is best understood from (in my opinion) from the total book, not just bits and pieces that folks can pick apart and say "see, this wasn't right here in the old testament", or "what's with the male chauvinist attitudes in the early scriptures". I believe sex is a wonderful expression of love, and that babies are a wonderful product of that wonderful expression of love, along with the everyday happiness that comes from a wholesome marriage. I don't believe that sex is purely for pro-creation, but I also don't believe God made us the way we are sexually, to misuse sex as a recreational drug of sorts, or just a way of pleasuring ourselves. For human beings, sex isn't just to make babies. It is to join two humans in the most intimate union possible. I believe that sexual love freely shared in marriage is the most beautiful way God gave us to say, "I love you." Aside from deceases and unwanted children, that are the product of casual sexual relationships (if you can actually call them relationships), their is the baggage that each person carries forward into each new relationship with another partner. That baggage, can get pretty hardcore for both men and women, and can effect any possibilities of future lasting relationships for many people. There are also implications throughout the bible, that when you are intimate with a person, you become spiritually "ONE" with them. That's pretty dang scary stuff right there, if ya ask me. There's a lot to this subject for sure, but it boils down to the fact that God made us and our sexual desires in a wonderful way, not be be taken lightly and thrown around like an old unwashed rag, but something to consciously cherish for that special someone in our lives, who we become "ONE" with. "ONE" in sin, one in redemption, one in happiness, one in sadness..............etc, etc. The apostle Paul was addressing believers here. 1 Corinthians 6:15-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, 'The two will become one flesh.' But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 7:2-5. (addressing sexual desires) "But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest buddy ahart Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion This may sound stupid but at what age is it alrite for a kid to try these things. I mean should a kid wait till they are 18 i mean you always get those highschool sweatheart stories from people and i mean of course you arent just holding hands when your alone together. So i guess what im getting at is when is it ok to enjoy gods gift that he gave us? ive been wanting to ask this question on here for a while but didnt know how to go about it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texan_Til_I_Die Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion Well, the quick and easy (though seldom followed) answer is that they should wait until they find and then marry the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. I don't think the issue here is really one of age, or even pleasure vs. procreation. It's extramarital sex. That's what so many religions preach against. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion My mother told me that when she grew up her parents were very open about sex. This was in the late 50's so it was very unusuall to say the least. Her mother told her all the things boys would do and say and the fellings that she would have. She also told her that when she was ready to have sex with a man she needed to be darned sure she was married to him first. My mother and dad started dating in Aug. of 1961 they became an exclusive item in a month. My mom said one day in late September she and my dad "Got closer than we should have" but didn't go all the way. On Oct. 3rd they were married. (There choice) 11 months later my oldest sister was born. There is nothing wrong with the feelings you get, it's all natural. Acting out on them at the wrong time with the wrong person is a choice. So to answer your question buddy ahart. The best time to have sex is on your wedding night or (maybe in directly after the wedding wherever you are). Regardless of your age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AllArmyoutdoorsSD Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion I have to agree with johnf, wait til you are married, there is a much stronger bond between couples who know that they saved this gift for eachother. I firmly believe that waiting will strengthen a marriage enough to get you through the tough times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OldBuckhunter Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Re: sex and religion Buckee did a good job describing and backing it up with scripture. God is NOT against sex. He created it. Sex outside of marriage causes a lot of problems, both mentally and physically. All you have to do is look at TV,porn magazines,child molesters,wife beaters,etc. and see how sex can influence people when used outside of marriage. The bible is Gods word that explains how to live life the right way. It gives you choices and tells you what will happen with the choices you make, and the choices you make will determine the life you live. If you have a choice to make, see what the bible says about whatever it is and meditate on it before you decide. I've found the bible contains every answer to life. If you can't understant King James version, try reading the Message Bible. Its in everyday language. I think once you've read it, you will understand what Buckee and I believe. Have an open mind and heart when you read. By your question I know you are reaching for answers. God has them!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeNRA Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] Some christian denominations along with catholics teach that sex is only the means to which procreation is done. This is not only crazy IMO, but not biblical. [/ QUOTE ] I went to catholic school, and you are wrong, since you singled out catholics. So I must be crazy and not biblical. Maybe you should have said, "Some christian denominations teach that sex is only the means to which procreation is done." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion I meant Prodistant and "Christian" came out. Sorry if I offended you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion I am probably going to get a little off the subject here. Sad truth is while some churches preach about premarital sex and how wrong it is, the pastor or preacher is having extramarital sex with his brethrens wife. Talk about hipocritical. It happens, even with the televangelists, and probably more often than many of us would really want to know. While the bible is the true word, I dont have much faith in men who would stand before other men and pretend to be closer to God than myself or any other man. We can all be equally close if we do one thing and that is to ask God himself for the answers. Problem I see with some denominations is that they almost seem to worship the man who is here on earth leading them, and probably more often than we may realize those men are not worthy of leading you or I in the right direction. Not saying all are like this, but putting faith in man instead of God to lead you down the right road is a mistake. Back to the subject, sure you should save yourself for your would be spouse. I did not, however my wife did. In todays world for someone to do that it would be truly special. While preachers of some churches will tell you so, do I really think sex according to the bible is just for creating life, no I do not. As Steve pointed out quite well, the act of love and intimacy brings a closeness, a closeness that should be reserved for people who intend to spend the rest of their life together. If you are not married and are religious and are be reading this with an open mind and are considering having sex with a partner, all I can suggest is that you ask God for patience and guidance,and he will provide you the answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted March 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion Thanks Buckee, that's what I was looking for. I'd like to add a couple things. A few people here have mentioned some type of baggage which may be there from past relationships. I agree with that to a point. But if you think about it, having past relationships allows both men and women to see who else is out there. Not only sexually (but that is important) but also spiritually etc... I don't mean any offense by this next point, but it's kinda tricky to word and may come out wrong so just bear with me. I guess my main question is why are so many religions based on self deprivation? Not only depriving oneself of sexual pleasure, but all pleasures? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeStandBowHunter Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion I don't know Muggs but can you imagine being a nun or a monk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] Some christian denominations along with catholics teach that sex is only the means to which procreation is done. [/ QUOTE ] I'm Catholic and according to the Catholic faith, sex serves 2 purposes, companionship (i.e. fun part of sex) and procreation. The Catholic faith preaches abstinence because of the possibility of procreating out of wedlock which is frowned upon. I hope I'm reading your post wrong John because the way I'm reading it, you're wrong by stating that Catholics only have sex to procreate. I've never been taught that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion The reason that I said that is that the only Catholics that I've known have said that. After I became a Christain I asked a preist about it. He confirmed what the others had told me, sex was only for procreation. Here is a quote from a Catholic magazine The natural law purpose of sex is procreation. Contraception is wrong because it’s a deliberate violation of the design God built into the human race, often referred to as "natural law." The natural law purpose of sex is procreation. The pleasure that sexual intercourse provides is an additional blessing from God, intended to offer the possibility of new life while strengthening the bond of intimacy, respect, and love between husband and wife. The loving environment this bond creates is the perfect setting for nurturing children. But sexual pleasure within marriage becomes unnatural, and even harmful to the spouses, when it is used in a way that deliberately excludes the basic purpose of sex, which is procreation. God’s gift of the sex act, along with its pleasure and intimacy, must not be abused by deliberately frustrating its natural end—procreation. The way I read it, they teach that sex is only for having babies. I don't see how you can get around it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M00N Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion I never was raised with any sort of religion. My parents decided against that before I was born, since they are from two different religions. Instead, they just left me be my own person. If I ever chose to become religious that was something for me to decide on my own. What they opted for was to just allow me to develop my own morals by keeping me well educated on every aspect of life and giving me their opinions when I wanted them. The sex aspect they gave me information on when I became a pre-teen and educated me on the pros and cons on it. They never said I had to wait until marriage or until I was this age or that age. It was purely left up to me to decide and to me to deal with what results from my decisions. They would stand by my decisions no matter what, even if they didn't agree with them. I chose to not really get into religion and to just define myself a set of self-morals as I go in life and to follow them on my own terms. I chose against being sexually active with anyone, other than someone I feel that I truly love and want to be with for a good long time. I am still abstinent to this day waiting on that special someone, as I have not found them yet. I don't set myself a restriction of being married before becoming sexually active, but I do think things through and consider the pros and cons of whether or not my feelings could handle sex with the person before marriage or whether it'd be best to just hold off. So, far I haven't regretted holding off with anyone I've dated as the connection just wasn't there. Even if I had that special someone in my life, in which I was sexually active with, I would not see anything wrong with being sexually active with no intent of procreation. It keeps people bonded, in my opinion, and relationships healthy. But, I also feel it shouldn't control a relationship either. Sex can be good for a relationship, but bad for it at the same time if the two partners aren’t on the same level of understanding. I do feel it is wrong, for me, to hold sex as a drug-like pleasure and abuse it in that sort of way. It should be a bonding experience between two people that holds special to them. It should not just be used as a stress relief, a game, a competition, or a selfish pleasure act. As far as sex and religion goes. I agree I cannot understand some of the different religions’ views on it, but do not down it in any way for sharing a different view than mine. Every person has different views on sex, just like every religion does. This is why some people are one religion or another. Their views are similar; therefore, they choose become religious so that they can be around others of similar views and to have support with their views. While others, like myself, prefer to support their own views alone, or with their relationship partners only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OldBuckhunter Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion Your right wtnhunter, any man can fall. Thats why the choices you make can be life-changing. Its not the name of the church or pastor thats going to get you there, but whats in your heart. Song of Soloman says you should enjoy the wife of your youth. What does that tell you? It also says if you mis-treat your wife, your mis-treating yourself! Your to take care,protect, encourage,love, buildup,etc. your wife and I know the benefits can be quite rewarding.(BIG SMILE HERE) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnf Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] Problem I see with some denominations is that they almost seem to worship the man who is here on earth leading them, [/ QUOTE ] I think that's more of a church to church thing, not necisarily a denominatioal thing. One of my sisters went to a Baptist church like that, but our preacher contends that he's no better than any man, but should be held to a higher level of accountability to his sin than other men. I think any preacher that is truley a "man of God" will tell you that they are as week and insecure as the next man. If they don't they are lying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] I don't mean any offense by this next point, but it's kinda tricky to word and may come out wrong so just bear with me. I guess my main question is why are so many religions based on self deprivation? Not only depriving oneself of sexual pleasure, but all pleasures? [/ QUOTE ] I already answered this question kind of. I strongly believe that churches fear that a man or woman who finds pleasure will be led away from the church by what they will label as sin. Pleasures seem to be viewed by some as giving in to temptation and thus they are then labeled as sins. I do not understand this perspective really, but have seen first hand that this does happen. One thing that comes to mind on this thread is an all too common scenario especially seen in small towns like this one. A girl saves herself for her husband on her wedding night, she gets married at 18 and then she loses her virginity. The husband and the wife have a nice little life until the woman at some point in her life begins to wonder what she missed out on and she starts thinking. This happens, realistically divorces do come from just this type of thing. Or maybe the wonderful husband who fooled the wife was maybe not really so innocent and when the couple really gets to know each other they then find out they really were not meant to be together. How can a couple really know they are completely compatible before marriage without living together and really knowing each other like they would when they marry. They cannot. After a married couple splits, which is not acceptable under some religions, are they expected to remain in abstinence or do they find new partners and again wait until marriage? Things do not always work out the way we intend for them to, do the best you can to be the best person you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Re: sex and religion [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Problem I see with some denominations is that they almost seem to worship the man who is here on earth leading them, [/ QUOTE ] I think that's more of a church to church thing, not necisarily a denominatioal thing. One of my sisters went to a Baptist church like that, but our preacher contends that he's no better than any man, but should be held to a higher level of accountability to his sin than other men. I think any preacher that is truley a "man of God" will tell you that they are as week and insecure as the next man. If they don't they are lying. [/ QUOTE ] John, remember the Pope? Seems if my memory serves me there were some interesting posts in here not so long back after he passed discussing how some seemed to in a sense almost view him as something other than man? My point there really is that members of a congregation view their pastor/preacher or whoever leads their church as their leader, some are placed figuratively speaking high on a pedastal like they are in some way better than others. Many, but not all will without challenge take his/her perspectives as gospel and think that they are good as a result. This in my opinion is just not a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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