Alabama Humor

[rifleman25]

The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an

> >> invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

> >> He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The

> >> University of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to give you

> >> $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

> >>

> >> The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my

> >> earrings."

> >>

> >> You gotta love those Alabama women.

> >>

> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> >>

> >> A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for

> >> the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering

under

> >> the weight of an eight-point buck.

> >>

> >> "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

> >>

> >> "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the

> >> trail," the successful hunter replied.

> >>

> >> "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they

> >> inquired.

> >>

> >> "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to

> >> steal Henry!"

> >>

> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> >>

> >> A senior at Alabama was overheard saying .. "when the end of the world

> >> comes, I hope to be in Alabama."

> >>

> >> When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Alabama because everything

> >> happens in Alabama 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized

world.

> >>

> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> >>

> >> The young man from Alabama came running into the store and said to his

> >> buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking

> >> lot!"

> >>

> >>

> >> Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

> >>

> >>

> >> "The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license

number."

> >>

> >>

> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> >>

> >> NEWS FLASH! - Alabama's worst air disaster occurred when a small

> >> two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Alabama University

students,

> >> crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have

> >> recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging

> >> continues into the evening.

> >>

> >> The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.

> >>

> >>

> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> >>

> >> An Alabama State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-85. The trooper

asked,

> >> "Got any ID?"

> >>

> >> The driver replied, "Bout whut?

> >>

> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> >>

> >> A man in Alabama had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road,

and

> >> Proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one

behind

> >> it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

> >>

> >> A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he

turned

> >> around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

> >>

> >> The man replied, "I have a flat tire.

> >>

> >> The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

> >>

> >> The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in

> >> the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."

> >>