Apology!

[buckee]

Re: Apology!

[ QUOTE ]

Well I don't know anyone here and im new, but I feel this needs said. It seems like some spent more time trying to disprove this guy then help him. Sometimes we do things we regret we did and sometimes they come back to bite us. Everyone is going to move on with their lives and one day learn to trust each other again. It's not about earning trust its more about forgiving now.

Let's get back to the real issues at hand .... HUNTING!!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

"It seems like some spent more time trying to disprove this guy then help him."

This statement is totally untrue. The only reason Ryan's elaborate lie was uncovered was because a few guys got together and wanted to send flowers and a card to the family. It was then and only then, that it was found out that Ryan's Mom was never admitted into the Hospital. No one, and I mean no one, went out of their way to discredit Ryan's story.

Ryan just failed to consider the loving, and caring people in this forum, would be his undoing.

And Ryan, I think it's a bit early in the game to be patting yourself on the back and calling yourself a man. Leave that praise for others to decide..

[ricfirefighter]

Re: Apology!

one thing everbody should take into consideration is the easy way out would have been just to go away and not say athing it took guts to come clean knowing he was going to get beat up over this i have never meet ryan but was lookin forward to it and would still like to meet him someday we all make mistakes the important thing is to learn from them god bless you ryan and good luck in what ever you do

[MrWiggely]

Re: Apology!

I don't know what to say.

What kind of person does it take to appologize for a lie AFTER he was found out ?

[AdvantageTimberLou]

Re: Apology!

What am I missing here? I am lost on what is happening with Ryan?

Is everything o.k.?

[Jeramie]

Re: Apology!

Dude, that was low. I cant say I'm not guilty myself of telling a lie to get out of a situation, honestly its all wrong and Ive since grown up, but on that level really takes the cake. No one on here gave you any reason to lie to them. Our boys up North were trusting you to be the man you portrayed.

Honestly it would have taken a real man to step up and tell them you made the wrong decision by making the move. Would they have been disappointed? Sure, but you could have held your head up high and patted your back all the way back to Oklahoma. Not a single forum member would have been mad or confused at your decision. I understand where you're at. Ive been in tough spots before but as so many have mentioned, Character is the only thing you have and you threw yours out the window somewhere between Wyoming and Oklahoma.

In fact Character is what makes this forum what it is. Ask Chris P. (Tominator) about the character of this forum and the members that make it what it is. It was prooven to him due to this cancer. Everyone was giving you that same respect and I guarantee you we (as a whole) would have come together to do anything that helped.

A lot of people in here held you and your family up in prayer. Others stepped up and decided to send your mother a "Get Well" gift because they though so highly of you, they Dont even know your mother. A lot of people took your word to be as truthful and trustworthy as the next guys/gals and worried with you.

This place is a bit more than just an Internet forum, which you should know by now. You might as well had been telling a lie to long time hunting buddies. IMHO your credibility and rank as one of the good Ole boys just dropped down quite a few rungs.

I can very easily let it go and say All is forgiven. However I wouldn't count on having the level of respect, from most of the forum, for a very long time. A lie is a lie and its all wrong but to lead everyone astray to that degree where we actually defended, Prayed, and worried for you... thats just a cheap shot.

This speaks about your level of maturity. I know this world is a big place and things are scary, I live here too. A little personal advice, from now on step up to the plate. Taking the back door out is never an option, unless you really enjoy apologizing for your failures. If you fail when you try no one will think less of you. Start out with a lie and you've set yourself up for failure. You definitely need some Prayers Ryan but for reasons far from your Mom's health.

[whitetailkiller]

Re: Apology!

all man falls short of the glory of god!!!!!!!! we are expected to make mistakes, that's why god sent jesus to earth ,, so he could sacrafice himself in the name of the father so that we might have forgiveness for our sins!!!!!! suck it up and drive on..... i don't know the entire story but it's irelevent now,,,,,he admitted his mistake and confessed it to all,,,cut him some slack after all nobody is perfect!!!!!!! i'm sure in time all will forgive you ryan,,,, keep your head up and keep the posts coming!!!!!!

let he who is without sin cast the first stone!!

judge not less ye be judged !!!!

[Guest outdoorgirl]

Re: Apology!

Totally shocked on such a lie. It bothered me all last night thinking about it. You don't seem like a person that would tell such a lie. WE all felt for you and your family. Telling a lie is one thing but telling the truth will set you free from the guilt. Thanks for telling the truth Ryan. Hope things workout with your future plans. You are well liked in this forum and i hope you continue to be part of the family.

[NYBUCK]

Re: Apology!

[ QUOTE ]

RyanH, I too accept your apology, but I would not be truthful if I did not add that I am also deeply disappointed.

I spent the better part of an hour this evening composing a post to defend your actions in returning home to your family.

Just as I was about to post, I noticed your “Apology” thread.

Although I have never met you, I felt that I knew you, and I’m sorry that my impression was wrong.

I don’t know how much of what you have related to us has been true over the past few days and how much was made up for whatever the reasons may have been.

It isn’t any of my business.

I’m sure that what you have told us has haunted you since the lie began, but you must realize that even in forgiveness it leaves me to suspect the validity and truth in the other post and replies you have made here on the forums.

I think that, at least now you realize how much more important a man’s reputation really is, and how much it is worth.

I hope you can pull yourself together and be an active and worthwhile contributor to the forums again, but that decision is entirely up to you.

….popgun

[/ QUOTE ]

Popgun very well said.

I too Ryan am very dissapointed. There are some people on these forums that I would stick my kneck out for and you were one of them. I appologize to the people that I made mention to who were being to hard on you. I takes years to build trust and a moment to break it. I feel like I have been violated, but I will accept your apology. We all make mistakes, some bigger than others, I hope you learn from yours and it makes you a better person.

[MCH]

Re: Apology!

I forgive you bud. We all have decisions to make, and you just made a couple of bad ones. Everyone deserves a second chance.

But I'll be honest, this has got me to thinking. Was this the first lie or the first lie you were caught at?

Also, you came clean with the help of outside pressure, not on your own. I ask myself if this story would have played out differently if a few forum members hadn't wanted to do something for your family? Would you be making this post then?

No, I don't think so.

[Griz]

Re: Apology!

You Lied about all of this and I'm suppose to forgive you for it...

No I don't think so...

Yall can think what you want but this doesn't surprise me one bit about Ryan's lying.

No sir not at all...For he has lied to me more then once and thought nothing about it. Like it was no big deal. Sorry folks but I have lost my trust in the guy from day one and the way I look at it, Ryan you are going to have to earn your trust back. After pulling a stupid stunt like this and involving your parents of all things, saying they were in a bad car wreck when they weren't. I would hate to think what your parents would say if they saw all of this...Dumb dumb dumb...

It makes me wonder how many more lies you have told on here and to other folks...

Just like I told you before Ryan I don't trust you at all and you need to do alot of growing up...

Call me old fashion or just plan ole human but I don't take to kindly being lied to...

Man oh man what a deal...What a let down...

[Guest Finn]

Re: Apology!

There is nothing more important to me than the health and well being of my family. Ryan, you made a decision to use those strongest feelings we all have to betray this entire site because you couldn't own up to a commitment.

I bet you're glad folks like TreeStandBowHunter, McMullin and all the rest of us who serve or served in the military don't lie and go home.

Sorry. When your integrity is gone, what else do you have?

[muggs]

Re: Apology!

[ QUOTE ]

All I know is that it takes a GIRL to lie and A MAN to fix it!

[/ QUOTE ]

At first I wasn't going to reply because honestly, this situation doesn't really affect me, but the above quote sorta got me.

First off, wrong dude, a man would have been up front from the get go, and I don't think a true man would have used his Mother's well being as an excuse to get himself out of anything. Not to mention, apologies that follow your lie getting exposed don't really count in my book.

I don't know Steve very well, but from all I've seen, he sure seems like a good man... a man who gave you an opportunity no less. He deserved a little more respect from you.

Just my two cents.

[AdvantageTimberLou]

Re: Apology!

like Elaine from an episode of Seinfeld, "I am speechless, without speech".........your parents were in my thoughts, I was worried about your mom being in critical condition and me picturing you driving like a mad man to get back home and see them before it was too late........wow is all I can say.......

[GWSmith]

Re: Apology!

John 8:1-11

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone

[Newarcher]

Re: Apology!

Can I be the voice of reason here? I dunno, can I?

Okay, Ryan screwed up royally. He really did. Yes, it was horrible. No question.

Yes, members are disappointed and there was apparently some behind the scenes warring among members over it.

But what is done is done. He could have let the flowers be delivered and let this all die down and told everyone his parents were 100%. But he admitted his mistake in judgement.

But the hoopla that ensued is unreasonable. It didn't change your life. It didn't cost you anything. It isn't like your best friend of 25 years announced to you that he is really a woman or that your pastor is sleeping with your wife. Come on. He owned up to it (which given the story told would have been hard for ANY of us to do) and let's just let him alone and welcome him back. If you can't get over it, then don't post to him or just put him on the ignore list.

I forgave him and as far as I am concerned it never happened.

New

[Ravin R10 man]

Re: Apology!

WOW....This is the FIRST I heard of any of this!!

Ryan..Christ can and WILL forgive if you are sincere....therefore I must too..if you want to talk Im here bud,... lets all move on

[MCH]

Re: Apology!

I disagree New.

I understand the concepts of positive reinforcement but believe more can be learned through other avenues.

If we all set back and pat Ryan on the back for coming forward and tell him "As far as we're concerned, this never happened", we're not doing him any good.

I don't condone lying with my children and I don't condone lying with my friends. Like I said, forgiveness is one thing, but forgetting is another.

There are consequences to lying. Ryan needs to learn that.

[Gator]

Re: Apology!

Here are my feelings on this. I said a little last night, but after reading some comments here, I feel like I need to go deeper. Yeah, I am one of the ones that did some digging about this whole farce, but it started out innocently. After reading about the "accident" I went online looking for details, so I could keep everyone here updated on what happened, and trying to get a name so we could get something together. Imagine my dismay when I could find nothing, and even after talking with Ryan on the phone, I got very little info. The more I spoke with people, the more I found out about some of the stuff Ryan has pulled here and elsewhere. I was ASHAMED to even be associated with him at this time. I talked to him for 30min last night, and told him that people did not beleive his story, and even went so far as to be the fall guy for the WHOLE forums if he could introduce me to his dad, or even show me the car. He told me he had nothing to prove. I put my butt on the line, only to get lied to. I don't trust very many people, yet I did trust him somewhat, and he let me down, as he has let alot of others down. Like many sain, a MAN'S word is his honor, without that, what do you have. I grew up where a handshake meant something, those days are LONG gone, and it is stuff like this that causes it.

Ryan, you could have told any other lie and this would not have happened like it did, but you bringing your folks into is unacceptable in my opinion, and is about the lowest lie a man could do. Be honest, how long would this have gone on if people hadn't started questioning things you said or did?

[Newarcher]

Re: Apology!

[ QUOTE ]

I disagree New.

I understand the concepts of positive reinforcement but believe more can be learned through other avenues.

If we all set back and pat Ryan on the back for coming forward and tell him "As far as we're concerned, this never happened", we're not doing him any good.

I don't condone lying with my children and I don't condone lying with my friends. Like I said, forgiveness is one thing, but forgetting is another.

There are consequences to lying. Ryan needs to learn that.

[/ QUOTE ]

So what is enough? When is enough? How do you determine that you have adequately obtained your pound of flesh?

I don't think that anyone will forget this but what are we going to do, remind him of it daily. Keep this post open and alive for a certain amount of time? 6 months, 12 months, a decade?

The person who isn't going to forget this is Ryan. If everyone who I ever did wrong held it against me forever, I would be in rough shape.

Enough is enough, IMHO. I'm in favor of letting everyone have their say about the matter but what then?

New

[DSGB]

Re: Apology!

Man, I read this last night and was speechless. Ryan, I just don't see why you felt there was no option other than to lie about it, especially one involving the health of your family. There are a bunch of stand up folks on here and this is no way to treat them. I can understand your situation and see your dilemma, but to make up a bold face lie is just unreal. The ones that trusted you and stuck their necks out are the ones hurt the most by this. I hope that you learn something from this and understand what a man's word means. Without that, he is nothing.

Everyone makes mistakes and you are forgiven as far as I'm concerned. I hope you stick around and work to gain the trust back from those you hurt.

[MCH]

Re: Apology!

I respect your opinion New. And its obvious this post will probably not make it past today, much less 6 months.

That's my last thought on this subject.

[BowJoe]

Re: Apology!

I think that what ryan needs right now is a friend and not a forum full of enemies. A lot of us have had their say and I don't condem them for it and saying more to come. What we all need to do is vent if you want to or remain silent if you want to. It's up to you but only you have to answer GOD about your sins. He didn't even have to say he was sorry even though he was busted. He could have asked GOD for forgiveness and maybe in the end he would be in heaven and we would be looking up at him from ****. One of my favorite words of advice is that when people see the bad that you do and tell you about it then all you have to say is GOD isn't done with me yet. Until you stop breathing and living then you still have a chance to be forgiven. Point is it's between him and GOD not us. I do know this though. If he asks our forgiveness and we deny him forgiveness then we are bound for **** ourselves because you can't be forgiven unless we forgive others. I forgave you ryan even before you asked. Know this though. If you lie anymore then yes you will be forgiven but a lesson is learned by us not to trust what you say. That has nothing to do with forgiving and forgetting. That is us saying we won't be a fool anymore. When people apologize and say they are sorry to me, I always reply,"Don't say you're sorry, just don't do it again." From the bottom of my heart Ryan, DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!

[Muff]

Re: Apology!

Well here is my 2 cents

I had not heard anything about this until this morning...now that I have read all the post I guess I would first have to ask Ryan...WHY LIE....Over the past year or so that I have been here I have gotten to know alot of the people here and they are THE BEST.....caring,understanding and forgiving...there was no shame in doing what you did....right up to the time you started to lie about it....I am sorry that you think you had to do that.....I hope that everyone here will let this go and we can get on with being the best darn place on the net....after all hunting season is just around the corner....Good luck to you Ryan...and don't worry if I know the people here like I think I do......you will be forgiven and stay apart of our realtree family.

Muff

[Newarcher]

Re: Apology!

[ QUOTE ]

I respect your opinion New. And its obvious this post will probably not make it past today, much less 6 months.

That's my last thought on this subject.

[/ QUOTE ]

Likewise, I respect yours and I am not chiding anyone for their opinion at all. I think it is fair to let everyone have their say.

I just see that this could turn into a giant fight and the last thing that this forum needs is a church split! Get it? Church split? We have a lot of good people here and this is just a bump in the road. I want to keep all our members.

New

[slugshooter]

Re: Apology!

[ QUOTE ]

John 8:1-11

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone

[/ QUOTE ]

I myself was thinking of posting this very scripture until I saw that it has already been done, but to clarify, some translations quote that as "Let he who is without THIS sin, cast the first stone."

We are all guilty of lying at some point in our lives, hopefully, once we reach adult status, we realize that lying gets us nowhere in life and it is better to just be honest.

That said, I have been on here almost 3 years, a little longer than RyanH, and not in all that time have I had any dealings with him. I am pretty sure that not one PM between us has ever crossed. I did however enjoy reading his posts and watching some of the hunting footage he posted, that one of the turkey that just wouldn't quit is priceless. I have nothing to gauge past attitudes or experiences with. Some on here say that he has lied to them in the past, I have no knowledge of that and so I cannot pass judgement or form an opinion because I don't have the history that some of you do on here with Ryan. I only know what I have learned in the last couple days.

That being said, when I first read the post of his parents injuries, I was genuinely concerned, as were all of us I am sure. Then to read the last couple of threads about how he was leaving because people doubted his story, and then to read his apology left me speechless to say the least.

The worst thing to me, in all this, and this is just my opinion, is that he brought his parents and their health into all this. One thing I would never do is use my mothers or loved ones health as an excuse to get out of something. Did he lie? Yeah, he did, but I don't think, in the grand scheme of things, that it is really a big enough deal to warrant the bashing, but like I said, I have no history with the man and do not and will not form opinions based on what others experiences have been. All I can say is that to me, the worst thing about this whole deal is that he brought his parents health and well being into question.

A question was posed as to whether or not he would have apoogized had he not been caught, and the answer was in the opinion of the writer, no. Well, how often does one apologize when they have gotten away with something. 99% of apologies are made because the guilty party has been caught, maybe it's human nature. But since I have no past history with RyanH, to me, all this is water under the bridge.

All I can say is that it is a good thing that God is not a man, because man can be one of the most unforgiving, self-centered creatures alive, and we would all be in trouble. Put your faith and trust in God, because he never fails, and he always forgives.