popgun Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Just one single question: Okay…..I’m older than most on here so I’ll use that as my excuse for not understanding. Income tax forms ask whether a person is single, married, divorced or widowed. Job applications, credit applications, insurance forms and college admittance forms, all ask the same question, and expect the same answers as any legal form. Dating, going together, boyfriend, girlfriend, living together etc., are not the same as being married. So why is it that so many of you young people in here, that have a non-marriage relationship, consider yourselves as “not single”? How about the term, single but tied, or single with a committed relationship, single with a girlfriend, or single but living with someone? Just tell me. If you are living with someone, not married, and have children….Why? Do young people today have so much personal property that they are afraid of loosing half of it in a divorce settlement? If you are unmarried, with children, are you less committed to your family? Would it hurt less to breakup with your girlfriend and children, than your wife and children? I guess I just don’t get it…… Is marriage a thing of the past? Is there a stigma attached to divorce that is not attached to breaking up with your child’s mother? It’s a little slow in here anyway, so take the time to respond and maybe you will teach an old dog something. ….popgun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: excellent question (from one old timer to another) I'm married, with a wife and children. Wouldn't have it any other way. I like commitment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: My feeling is that the young people today think that marriage is "old fashioned" and they don't want any part of being "old fashioned"! It isn't COOL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun_300 Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Yeah I understand what you're saying popgun. My best friend has a girlfriend and a 4 year old daughter, they're not married, but they're living together and have a happy life. And my cousin has a boyfriend with a young son as well. Our family is Catholic and no one shunned them for having a child without being married. If this was 30 years ago they'd darn near be put in jail! I guess these days people see themselves happy the way they are and don't feel the need or benifit to get married. I have a girlfriend and I don't consider myself single. I love her like a wife and she is basically like my wife, but we're not married yet. We both consider ourselves "taken". We plan on getting married and having children after we get married. I guess times are just starting to change, and marriage is getting a lot less popular because of the rate of divorce these days. I think I heard on the radio that it's like 50% of people who get married, get divorced. Hard to believe but I guess it's true. I think that is because the people that believe in marriage, rush into it too quick and don't know the "real" person they're about to marry. They find out afterwards that it's not the person that they really want to be with, then they end up getting divorced and boom, there goes have your assets to someone you don't want to be with. That is what I believe is causing marriage to become less common. In 100 years, marriage might be a think of the past! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkeygirl Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Intriguing question. Personally I find questions like that too personal,lol. In one of my classes, we were talking about legal and illegal questions that can be asked by an interviewer to an interviewee and I think some of those even apply to forms such as you talked about.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dust Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Married with kids here. I like the tax deductions...lol. Really though I don't know any different. I married the day after I graduated high school when I was 17. Anything else would be feel weird for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unioncountyslayer Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Hollywood has made a mockery out of being married. It has become such a joke. Young people unfortunatly look up to these Left Coast kooks. People think that the grass is greener on the other side and forfiet their marriages and sometimes kids emotions for the "single life" again. It's pretty sad that when you get married, you've got a 50% chance of it working out. I know this post was about being single, but it got me thinking about how the sacredness of marriage in America has gone out the window. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricfirefighter Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: my dad and his g/f benn together for something like 25 yrs both were married before they say they dont need a peice of paper to prove they love each other as for me just got devorsed after 14yrs and dont plan on doing that again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMn106 Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Good Question. So good that i can not answer that. I am a youngen (22) and just recently single but I can tell that I can not wait for the day to come where I can say I am married and have kids. That is one of my main goals. When i was in a relationship i did not consider myself single even though i wasnt married. I thought of it as I am with a person that I love and that is the only person that I want to be with right now. I didnt consider myself single or married but in a commited relationship and i am not sure why they dont have that on any form that you can fill out. Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoosierbuck Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: I married my high school sweetheart the year she graduated college. I am decidedky in the old school marriage camp here, but to be honest, during college while I was single, I did not consider myself "available", I was on...layaway or on hold, or something, but I was single but not fully, so I kind of understand it it as a temporary status, but not a forever thing like some folks. HB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mossyhorn Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Call me old fashion then. I love my girlfriend with all my heart and plan on getting married next summer. She already has a ring, and we sort of live together now, but I want it to be the real deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OUTSIDER Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: I cant help you there buddy....I am currently without a female companion....except my beautiful little german sheppard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaskMan Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: I'm married with a couple kids, wouldn't have it any other way. It seems like today so many people want an easy out. Bottom line is, I love and respect my parents so much that I cannot imagine anything being more disappointing to them then giving them a daughter in law they can love like a daughter and a family they can see grow just as theirs did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BowJoe Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: I'm married with a baby girl but I don't feel the way you "old timer's" think. My grandmother was married only twice in her life but she had 4 men she loved in her life and lived with all 4 for 10 yrs or more. First was my grandpa who died before I was born. Second was Bob who was just like a grandpa but they never married and he died when I was 5. Jack was 3rd and she married him and he treated her like gold. They travelled all over the U.S. and Canada until he died of diabetes. 4th was Wally from Cicero, IL and full polish. She died while still living with him for over 16 yrs. I don't think tradition has anything to do with it. My grandma loved all four men and they loved her but marriage meant only that they were legally bound to eachother vs. voluntarily loving eachother. In each case, she loved them until death did they part and no preacher or priest had to tell them that. Now ask how many on here had pre marital sex and I think the matter of having children before marriage was a matter of getting to the preacher on time so as not to show or just a lucky chance that it didn't happen until after marriage. There are literally millions of so called "traditional people" that had kids only 8 mos or less after getting married. I think they are the ones that cheapened marriage and not the younger generation by trying to cover up that they weren't saints before they got married. No one generation caused the decline in marriage but I do know that a "shotgun wedding" was a term used since before I was born and not invented by my generation. Take it as you will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revhard Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: i dont thinkits that young people thinkits a thing of the pas, i just think think that education is pushed so much these days, that young people dont want to get married till they are completely finished with whatever education they choose. i myself married my high school sweetheart and i am 25 now with two children.. wouldnt have it another way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeramie Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: [ QUOTE ] I'm married, with a wife and children. Wouldn't have it any other way. I like commitment [/ QUOTE ] Me too..... Well, that and clean clothes, warm meals, a clean house... etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdvantageTimberLou Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Married with 2 kids here, been married for 7 years and been with her for almost 11 years total. Love my kids, love my marriage. Once you settle down things change, kids really make the marriage change, you live for those kids and more often than not you and the spouse don't have the time you once did before the kids! Its all worth it though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bfletch7441 Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Not sure Pop. My wife and I are each 30, and constantly have people tell us we are old fashioned or traditional. We're not sure what they mean by that. I guess the fact that I work and she stays home to raise our kiddo, we love each other and show it ... a lot, I open doors for her and help without asking, she cooks and cleans and is happy to do it. If all of that adds up to old fashioned, then yeah, we are. For us though, it all adds up to a loving and happy marriage that we both expect will last for the rest of our lives. Marriage is a deeply spiritual thing for JaLynn and I, and my take is that people, mostly the younger generations, don't have a strong enough sense of spirituality and commitment to family to realize the bond they are entering into with a marriage. It has become acceptable to desecrate the sanctity of marriage, and divorce time and again. Kind of like buying a car anymore. If you don't like the one you get at first, trade that sucker in on a different model. Just MHO. Ben Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutchies Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: I think alot of people are afraid of commitment because they came from broken homes. The mother and father probably had a bad divorce and the kid doesn't want to go thru the same thing. Or they think if they live together and don't get married they won't have to get a divorce when they split so they won't loose half their stuff. WRONG.........Most don't understand what common law marriage is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Absolutely every person I have ever known that was in a "common law whatever" either did not go to church or believed in God. I think that has a LOT to do with it. Christians believe that marriage is sacred and bound by God AND by law. Unfortunately, like hutchies said..........many people do not understand what common law marriage is and think that it's a much easier way out of a relationship if there's no divorce papers involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckslayer Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: [ QUOTE ] I have a girlfriend and I don't consider myself single. I love her like a wife and she is basically like my wife, but we're not married yet. We both consider ourselves "taken". We plan on getting married and having children after we get married. [/ QUOTE ] This is me too. 1. she's still in school. 2. I'm just graduated from college and out on my own. I can't afford a nice ring for her yet, but when I can, She's ready to accept! Popgun, it doesn't make sense to me either that I call myself single, when really I'm just not legally married. Sorry I can't really answer your question, other than to agree with your statement that it doesn't all make sense. We're both very faith oriented catholics who will be waiting until we're married for kids, living together, and other 'married' things. Thats just a product of how we were raised though. If it weren't for societal pressures to finish school and everything before marriage, we would have done it after a year together probably... if you want to see this happy couple, click here Matt & Ash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newarcher Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Because shacking up and hooking up are in style and being married is old-fashioned, boring, and stiffling. What is the one thing that most people quote as a primary concern when considering marriage? Here in this forum? Impact on hunting time . But for most, is that "I will never sleep with a different person again". Shacking up is a way that you can keep someone you care about and make sure (within reason) that they don't take off with someone else....without having a firm committment. "I will not sleep with anyone else for now" is all that some people can muster. New Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallone Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: I've been married before and they didn't work out and was taken to the cleaners. I'm currently in a four year relationship with someone I get along with and care about more than I ever have with anyone BUT she is not pushing marrage and neither am I, we like it the way it is. I'm sure down the road we will tie the knot but I am going to be sure we have all of our differences worked out before. Todays soceity wants us to all be seen as equal, women are and can do anything just as good as a man BUT go thru a divorce and they become these helpless little creatures that can't feed themselves. I have friends that you wouldn't believe what the judge did to them including me. So am i in a hurry to get married again no. I will be darn sure this one is going to work before I go that route again. I don't feel like giving half of everything I've worked for to someone who decides she wants screw around with my friend. Look up Louisiana's laws concerning divorce it's like we are still living in the 50's. Sorry this touched a nerve with me. No offence toward anyone here I respect all women and treat and view them as equal I just think the divorce laws needs to reflect todays ideas on equal rights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcmullin Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: Im 22 and married and have a daughter. My wife and I are plan on having a second child about a year from now. I love being married its the best thing that ever happened to me. Its nice having sombody waiting at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutchies Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Re: Just One Single Question: [ QUOTE ] Absolutely every person I have ever known that was in a "common law whatever" either did not go to church or believed in God. I think that has a LOT to do with it. Christians believe that marriage is sacred and bound by God AND by law. Unfortunately, like hutchies said..........many people do not understand what common law marriage is and think that it's a much easier way out of a relationship if there's no divorce papers involved. [/ QUOTE ] I can't say alot about the first part. My wife and I attend church regularly and I called her my wife before we were married. We were together 6 years before getting married. She wanted a big wedding so we waited til we could afford it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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