What to do?????


10acboy

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Sometime ago I posted a topic that discussed me on moving back to my home state - Tennessee. I decided to wait until a federal government job opened and I would apply. Well I have done all that and I have finally received a phone call from the FBI in Memphis for an interview. Now granted, it's just a phone interview, but it go me to thinking. Should I go or not. God has blessed me and my family in more ways then I could ever imagine while I have been in Virginia, but Virginia is not home. Our entire families live back in Tennessee. This makes it hard since the grandparents do not get to see the grandchildren except a couple of times a year. My wife is finally make decent money working two part time jobs that she truely enjoys, and both of my sons play soccer and are pretty darn good at it. I am also getting a raise in the near future. If I go to Tennessee I will be losing my raise, my wife's salary, my boys will be uprooted from their friends (although they are ages 12 and 6), but if I go I will be closer to family and childhood friends that I haven't seen in years. I don't know what to do. I need some advice. I know that money is not everything - that is until you don't have any. I know that my boys will make new friends and are at an age that they will have an easier time to adjust, but we will be closer to our families and friends. Do we really want to start over when we have worked so hard to get where we are at? What would you all do?

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Re: What to do?????

I cannot answer your question (nor can anyone except you and your wife), but I know exactly what you're going through. My family is from TN and my bride's family is from AL, so our children's grandparents are quite a distance away and visits are limited in number. I will tell you this, when my station in life permits, we will be getting back closer to home... It sounds as though your station in life may be such that it is within closer reach...

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Re: What to do?????

That's a tough decision that I made a few years ago. My wife and I were making very good money working in the Twin Cities. My wife had just got done with Dental Assisting school and was planning on a major pay increase with the job switch. Then we found out we were pregnant and made a major decisoin to move back home so our kids would grow up knowing there grandparents and aunts & uncles. Our pay was nearly cut in half when we both took jobs back home. But I wouldn't change our decision at all. Like you said money isn't everything and for use it was the best decision we ever made.

Only your family can answer that question. Good Luck on your decision.

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Re: What to do?????

Tough decision but I do understand. I live in Virginia too and would move if things were available.

Re-reading your post I have to be upfront with you, please don't take this wrong as I may have read into it but it sounds like you want to move for reasons that appeal to you and relatives but may not appeal to your wife and children. If so, moving might be a mistake at this time. Just my $.02

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Re: What to do?????

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Re-reading your post I have to be upfront with you, please don't take this wrong as I may have read into it but it sounds like you want to move for reasons that appeal to you and relatives but may not appeal to your wife and children. If so, moving might be a mistake at this time. Just my $.02

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I didn't take it the wrong way believe me. Actually though it is just the opposite, my wife would like to jump up and move, but I am trying to weigh all the pros and cons to the move. Sure I would love to get back to be closer to my remaining family, but I am concerned for the opportunities that my children will have the most. Yes if it was just me I would leave in a minute, but I have 3 other people that are counting on me and I am being torn with the decisions that I will have to make in the near future. Maybe I am putting the horse in front of the cart, but I have to start to consider all my possibilities. Thanks for the input everyone.

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Re: What to do?????

I would say this. Is the job you are checking into comparible in salary or better? Where you are planning to move to, is there soccer teams for your kids to join? About the wife's job(s) check on the internet and see what kind of jobs are available in the new area, and if any are the kind of work she is doing now? But it all boils down to what you and your wife decide which is best for the family. I wish you the best in what ever decision you make,and may god help you in this time of need and guide you in your decision making. Good luck either way you go.

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Re: What to do?????

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Great advice in previous posts...consider this also if you wish:

Actually making a written list of the "Pro's and Con's".

Sometimes when you write it all down it looks different.

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Some great advice has been given here. Have done as Gary suggests here with making pros and cons lists with many decisions. It does help.

Ultimately you have to or should do what your heart tells you is the best for your family.

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Re: What to do?????

Well, re-reading your post, here is what I see.....

The only reason not to go would be money......they have soccer and schools where you are going. Kids are resilient and will bounce back from moving. So it looks like money is the only sticking point to me.

You only have one family and God can and will bless you for making the right decisions.

Talk to your wife first and figure out what is best. If that is to move, then discuss it with your kids before just telling them you are moving. It is more palitable that way for them.

Good luck,

New

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Re: What to do?????

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What would you all do?

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Pray and ask God for some direction.

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I total agree with this but it also can't hurt to go through the interview and see what happens with that first.

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That's true, but I have never been one to wait. I have been making the pros and cons list. Someone said earlier that there is soccer there - if there is I haven't seen any of the schools that have the facilities for soccer. Of course that doesn't mean that it's not there. Money is pretty much I suppose the only issue, and money isn't the only thing.

It's nice to talk this through with other people, to get different perspectives. Thanks everyone!

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Re: What to do?????

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there is I haven't seen any of the schools that have the facilities for soccer.

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Not sure how close to Memphis you are looking at. Would think around the bigger schools closer to the more populated areas schools would offer more.

Soccer is all over West Tennessee at the ymca's and is becoming more ane more popular with middle and high schools. Even some of these small schools around here now have school teams.

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