5 short Friday Jokes


AdvantageTimberLou

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#1) A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or

mountain stuff?" “Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the **** out"

#2) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

#3) A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's

license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

#4) Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in

the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of

chardonnay."

#5) Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain

man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.

That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.

The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

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