A Christmas Story!


Jeramie

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A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was mad.

He cussed out the elves and called Mrs. Clause, “Hag.”

Miserable little brats, those ungrateful little jerks.

Give me one reason I shouldn’t scrap the whole works?!

I've busted my rear for dang near a year,

Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?

The old lady gripes cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen ran away

And just when I thought that things would get better

I’m getting audited, the IRS sent a letter,

They say I owe taxes—and if that ain't funny

Who is this entire World ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits

They want the impossible--Those mean little twits.

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds

Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,

They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees

Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment

I'm sitting on my rear and drawing unemployment.

There's no Santa this year now you know the reason,

He was last seen with a blond……….going SOUTH for the season

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