hunting_boy Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 On top of a ridge On top of a rige in southern Missouri on day just as the sun started to set a young boy and his freind were getting ready to go coon hunting with the boys uncle. The boys name is jimmy and the boys freind's name is skyler.on the way down the rige they heard a noise and they both looked scared but when they relised it was jimmys uncle with hounds in hand the were not scarred no more and they started to get excited for what lay ahead and then jimmy said here we go on another hunt may god be with us all the way. then the uncle let the hound go and the chase was on. they went across the uncles land to jimmys land all the way to the corn feild and then the dog struck on a track and the uncle wated a miniute and sayed its time to go find the dogs and see what they had up the tree.when they started to walk the dogs went silent the uncle got worryed and said lets move faster they were this way and so they were off then they heard a yep from the dogs and then it was from a walk to a run the uncle being old could only run so far then he heard the dog bark and chop on the tree so he wasnt worryd but what he didnt know that a head was trouble so jimmy went first and the uncle second and jimmy's freind third but the uncle shined the light in the tree but what he say scarred him so bad he had a heart attack for it wasnt a coon but a mountain lion in the tree and the boys ran to his side jimmy thought he was dead and so they dragged him to the house as fast as they could and what they didnt know is the uncle was alive but barley so when they arived at jimmys his parnets were gone so he diled 911 and hen they awnsewred he told them everything and shortly after an ambulance arrived to tke the uncle to the hospital. two days later the uncle came back home and he asked to see his dogs but the boys had left them in the woods and so they ran to where the insident happend and what they say made them both sad for the dogs had fought the lion and had lost there lives and the boys looked at each other in horr to know that they would have to explain to the uncle that the dogs were not alive they took the bodys of the dogs back to the house and they decited not to let the uncle see so they told him and he broke into tears and said he wanted to see his dogs and the boys said no but they were to late the uncle was out the door going toawrd where the dogs bodys lay and when he say the me prayed may hey live in peace and after that jimmys eyes swelled up and he started to cry so a year later the boys went to get some more coon hounds for the uncle they went to the they guys house that the uncle got them from and he said he only had two more so they said how much and he sad to you my freinds they are free and they were pleased so onward they went to the uncles house and that night they went hunting and on there way the uncle said i have to stop to give my rrespects to my old hounds and under that old apple tree in southern missouri there sits two crosses made from wood bout on the crosses there lays the collars to never be use agian. The end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunting_boy Posted January 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") yes some of this sounds like were the redfern grows so dont get mad plz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbeck Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") Not bad young man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrow32 Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") Good job man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") Very sound, interesting, exciting plot. However.......(here comes the teacher part ), this passage is loaded with grammatical and spelling errors. Keep working at your mechanics because you have great story lines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unioncountyslayer Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") [ QUOTE ] Very sound, interesting, exciting plot. However.......(here comes the teacher part ), this passage is loaded with grammatical and spelling errors. Keep working at your mechanics because you have great story lines. [/ QUOTE ] It was only a matter of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunting_boy Posted January 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") yea i know this was just a little fast one of about three that i have wrote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunting_boy Posted January 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") im wanting to make it bigger but i cant cause well i cant think of what else to put on the story without it ending up like were the red fern grows can anyone help me out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exturkinator Posted January 21, 2007 Report Share Posted January 21, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") Here are my reflections on your story: 1) That is a neat story that I very much enjoyed reading 2) Jimmie and Skyler must be pretty strong to drag the uncle all the way back to the house 3) The uncle got over his heart attack pretty quickly (2 days in the hospital...) 4) Is this all fiction, or is this perhaps based at least in part on a true personal story? 5) An idea for you to "extend" your nice story - the uncle, two boys, and new dogs go back out and harvest the mountain lion and mount his pelt (along with the two slain dogs' collars) over the stone fireplace in their hunting cabin. 6) If you already have 3 such stories, I think you should write some, work with Tominator to "clean them up", and publish an anthology... Keep up the good work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin R10 man Posted January 21, 2007 Report Share Posted January 21, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") WOW..I read that in one breath... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted January 21, 2007 Report Share Posted January 21, 2007 Re: my story (\"title On Top Of A Ridge\") [ QUOTE ] Very sound, interesting, exciting plot. However.......(here comes the teacher part ), this passage is loaded with grammatical and spelling errors. Keep working at your mechanics because you have great story lines. [/ QUOTE ] Knew that was coming. Kind of hard to follow at times with the poor grammar, but a pretty good story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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