ryan1990 Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Well. My 4 year old cousin came to stay a week with me. He came so we could council him because he has been sexually abused by his step brother and his parents are still letting him be face to face in the same house as this boy. Everytime any one else would try to talk to him about it he would change the subjest and run out of the room. I was the only one he would talk to. I counciled him and talked to him about it and he told me stuff no one else knew. We talked to several friends we have thqat work in the child protection system. The advice they gave us was not to let him go back home. They said we could go to jail for child endangerment if we sent him back. His grandma has been taking care of him for a while but he still lives with his mother who is 22. We printed a teporary gaurdianship paper off the internet for his mother to sign because we didnt want to repost it to DHS for fear of him going to a foster home. His mom agreed to sign it. Then his stepdad called DHS and said we were trying to kidnapp his kid. So we called his social worker and told him the whole story. He said we had to send him back but he would make sure that the step brother didnt come around anymore. When my mom told him to pack up to leave he ran to my room. I went in there and he was bawling his eyes out, telling me I was his best friend and he didnt want to go home. (he lives 3 hours away so I never see him) He cried and cried and told me he wanted to live with me forever. Of course I cried too because he is like my son. He is the most important person in the world to me. His father is horrible and he needs to be in jail. This was the first time I cried in 3-4 years. I guess it had been building up cause I bawled. Well he is at home now and there is nothing left to do but pray. Any advice from anyone? Please please please pray. me on the far right at the OKC zoo in the car The good bye. You can tell Ive been crying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowtech_archer07 Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Prayers sent. That is a horrible situation to be in. I hope things get better:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Prayers for sure:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdvantageTimberLou Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 prayers heading you way, very sad story, wish the very best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Prayers on the way for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeB Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 My prayers are with you. Trust in God to lead the system to do right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newarcher Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Ummm.....Any advice? How about calling the SHERIFF? Sexually abusing a 4 year old is against the law AS IS KNOWING ABOUT IT AND ALLOWING IT TO CONTINUE. The kid's mom and dad should be locked up along with the step brother. I can guarantee you one thing and that is dealing with the inept CPS Department is pointless...they have sent children back to mothers who murdered another sibling. Inept, very reluctant to do anything, and often incapable to act when they find gross abuse. This is a case for the police and I guarantee you that if the Father of this boy is letting his child be abused, it probably isn't just the step brother doing it. I can't understand why--now no offense meant here--the child was sent to you (given your age) to council a child who is being sexually abused. Apart from the comfort factor of being his buddy, you lack the expertise to handle this adequately. It almost sounds like a family trying to keep their dirty little secret just that, at the expense of this child. Having seen enough of it, I can tell you that this child is going to be scarred for life because of this event and needs qualified professional counseling and ministry. Again, no offense to you meant....but you and I aren't qualified to handle this. Again, it just seems like this child's entire family is resolved to letting this continue as long as they let him hang out with his cousin to console him. I can't tell you what to do. But, if I were in your shoes, I would beat a path to the Sheriff's Office so fast to file a report and then make the Distric Attorney's Office my second home until this mother, father, and step brother were rotting in jail. I am so mad right now that virtually everyone in this child's life has failed him that my hair is standing on end. I think you know deep down in your soul what needs to be done and no allegiance to family would stop me from helping this child. If I didn't do everything in my power to put an end to this, in my mind, I was helping facilitate it. Unacceptable. Prayers sent. New Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Clay008 Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Ummm.....Any advice? How about calling the SHERIFF? Sexually abusing a 4 year old is against the law AS IS KNOWING ABOUT IT AND ALLOWING IT TO CONTINUE. The kid's mom and dad should be locked up along with the step brother. I can guarantee you one thing and that is dealing with the inept CPS Department is pointless...they have sent children back to mothers who murdered another sibling. Inept, very reluctant to do anything, and often incapable to act when they find gross abuse. This is a case for the police and I guarantee you that if the Father of this boy is letting his child be abused, it probably isn't just the step brother doing it. I can't understand why--now no offense meant here--the child was sent to you (given your age) to council a child who is being sexually abused. Apart from the comfort factor of being his buddy, you lack the expertise to handle this adequately. It almost sounds like a family trying to keep their dirty little secret just that, at the expense of this child. Having seen enough of it, I can tell you that this child is going to be scarred for life because of this event and needs qualified professional counseling and ministry. Again, no offense to you meant....but you and I aren't qualified to handle this. Again, it just seems like this child's entire family is resolved to letting this continue as long as they let him hang out with his cousin to console him. I can't tell you what to do. But, if I were in your shoes, I would beat a path to the Sheriff's Office so fast to file a report and then make the Distric Attorney's Office my second home until this mother, father, and step brother were rotting in jail. I am so mad right now that virtually everyone in this child's life has failed him that my hair is standing on end. I think you know deep down in your soul what needs to be done and no allegiance to family would stop me from helping this child. If I didn't do everything in my power to put an end to this, in my mind, I was helping facilitate it. Unacceptable. Prayers sent. New +1 I think you should definitely call the police. Steps need to be taken to ensure this child is safe from harm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeramie Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 I agree 100%, get the law involved. DHS isn't going to take the child if there is a living relative in good standings. In the mean time Prayers headed your way for that beautiful boy. God keep him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 CALL THE POLICE ASAP!!!!!!!! Child Services is a JOKE! They aren't going to help you or that precious little boy. Get the law involved and do it today. That's the very best thing you can do in this situation. Prayers sent.............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newarcher Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 This little guy, through his behavior, is begging you for help. He didn't confide in you because he likes you or because you are a swell guy....he confided in you because he is asking for your help. Child abuse victims have lots of shame and usually children this age are told by their molestors that they will get in trouble if they tell. This guy is begging for your help but cannot muster the courage to ask you to act. He is just trying to stay safe and survive........maybe God let him stay with you because he knew you would act where others have failed to act. Call the law. You clearly love that child and you owe it to him to put an end to this. I personally couldn't sleep until it was done. I still cannot fathom how everyone in this family (assuming I have the facts) has opted to just send him to his cousin's house instead of sicking the law on these parents and step-brother. In what world is letting a teenager counsel a molested child an appropriate response? I am ashamed of everyone involved (except you). If you don't do what you know is right very shortly, you might be added to the list! New Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Get the law involved ASAP! Sheriff or local police! Do this first before you do anything else! This is so sad! I hope it works out for the childs' sake! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coles Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 i like everyone else thinks you should get the law involved. He is a cute little guy and again you owe it to him. He will thank you some day when he fully understands what it going on. I will be praying for you and him. Keep us updated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan1990 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 I appreciate your council guys. New, my mom and dad pastor a church in OKC. My mother has had training as a counciler and has a degree in it. He was sent to see her because we didnt want him going to your everyday shrink telling him that gay is ok. She tried to talk to him and he was scared to talk to her because he was afraid he would get in trouble. So I gave it a try and he opened up. His step brother is only 12 so I dont think that he can be locked up. WE told his mother if she didnt sign the temporary guardianship that we would call DHS but that was a last resort. Well her husband called first and said we were trying to kidnapp him. So now DHS or CPS or whatever said he is under their care now and they choose to put him back in the home and make sure that his parents get counciling and the step brother never comes around again. And for any of you Okies here. You should know that this is in Choctaw county... The most corrupt county in the state. The law there is a joke. Ive had family pulled over and instead of a tiket the cops steal their money. So it has been reporteds there and they did nothing at all. So when it got reported again last week they finally at least did somthing. Though in my opinion it was really not much of anything. Our biggest fear though is that he will go into a foster home. I dont know how it is in every other state but in OK kids are sexually abused almost every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newarcher Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 I appreciate your council guys. New, my mom and dad pastor a church in OKC. My mother has had training as a counciler and has a degree in it. He was sent to see her because we didnt want him going to your everyday shrink telling him that gay is ok. She tried to talk to him and he was scared to talk to her because he was afraid he would get in trouble. So I gave it a try and he opened up. His step brother is only 12 so I dont think that he can be locked up. WE told his mother if she didnt sign the temporary guardianship that we would call DHS but that was a last resort. Well her husband called first and said we were trying to kidnapp him. So now DHS or CPS or whatever said he is under their care now and they choose to put him back in the home and make sure that his parents get counciling and the step brother never comes around again. And for any of you Okies here. You should know that this is in Choctaw county... The most corrupt county in the state. The law there is a joke. Ive had family pulled over and instead of a tiket the cops steal their money. So it has been reporteds there and they did nothing at all. So when it got reported again last week they finally at least did somthing. Though in my opinion it was really not much of anything. Our biggest fear though is that he will go into a foster home. I dont know how it is in every other state but in OK kids are sexually abused almost every day. Yikes, what a pathetic situation. If the cops will not do anything about it, I would go talk personally to the DA. If the DA will not do anything, I would talk to the State police or even my Congressional leaders for my State. Inaction, unless there are circumstances you aren't telling us, is unacceptable. I would find someone who will listen. As for going to a foster home, it MIGHT happen but with willing family you should be able to get him back in short order. I wish you guys the best, it is hard to be in an impossible situation like this but there is a way out. New Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan1990 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Thanks again. When I talked to him I was told to ask him if his brother had done this to anyone else and if anyone else had done this to him. He very cleary told me no to both. It may sound strange but I think it is the council of the holy spirit inside me telling me that he is telling the truth. His father is a horrible person and his mothis is 22 and no more mature than a 12 year old. When she came up to get her son back ( Callen is his name) My mom talked to her and ministered to her. She said we have opened her eyes and if the step brother ever comes around again she will leave her husband. That is another thing that I would like prayer for. For her to leave her husband. Their are rumers around town that he is a drug dealer. And facts that he is a butt hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newarcher Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 Thanks again. When I talked to him I was told to ask him if his brother had done this to anyone else and if anyone else had done this to him. He very cleary told me no to both. It may sound strange but I think it is the council of the holy spirit inside me telling me that he is telling the truth. His father is a horrible person and his mothis is 22 and no more mature than a 12 year old. When she came up to get her son back ( Callen is his name) My mom talked to her and ministered to her. She said we have opened her eyes and if the step brother ever comes around again she will leave her husband. That is another thing that I would like prayer for. For her to leave her husband. Their are rumers around town that he is a drug dealer. And facts that he is a butt hole. Seems like every family has some of those 12 year olds. Please don't think that I was demeaning your ministering to him. My point was that whatever he went through is going to require some very strong counseling. No doubt what you did was great and helped him. Does the step brother not live with him full time? New Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan1990 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 No. The step brother lives about 4 hours from them with his grandma. But he has still come back to visit and he was just there last week fir a court date and he stayed with them. But the case worker has promised he would never come around again. And Callens mom has promised if he does then she will leave Jack David (the husband). Im not sure if I believe her though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan1990 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 His favorite song is " Watching you" by Rodney Atkins. He must have watched that video 10 times while he was here. Me and him would sing it together all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newarcher Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 No. The step brother lives about 4 hours from them with his grandma. But he has still come back to visit and he was just there last week fir a court date and he stayed with them. But the case worker has promised he would never come around again. And Callens mom has promised if he does then she will leave Jack David (the husband). Im not sure if I believe her though. At least he is away from the pedophile. As for what they can do to the kid, they can send him to juvie and should. He should also be given help. I would venture a guess that she is probably abused in some way herself and it is hard for them to leave also. It may be your mission to be the father that this kid doesn't have, even if from afar. Prayers buddy, that's hard to watch. New Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan1990 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 She is verbaly abused but I dont know about physically. I do know that he is very manipulative (sp?) Everytime she is ready to leave he talks her out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest realtrhunter Posted May 3, 2007 Report Share Posted May 3, 2007 You need to get the law involved somehow. Even if it means going over peoples heads. The kid needs to be removed from that whole part of the family. I am pretty sure his step brother would be locked up and then have to register as a sex offender. I would also think that if the local law was not willing to do anything then they too need to have charges brought against them. If nothing was done fast enough to help the kid I would personnaly carry out my own justice, as I think all sex offenders should have no part in this society and money should not even be wasted in their existance in a jail cell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted May 4, 2007 Report Share Posted May 4, 2007 prayers said. now. call the police right now. they are, unfortunately, very experienced at this type of thing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archerjg Posted May 4, 2007 Report Share Posted May 4, 2007 Prayers go out that everything gets straightened out with this sad situation. Archerjg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DU_man_84 Posted May 4, 2007 Report Share Posted May 4, 2007 that is very very sad news, i am real sorry to hear that, and my prayers go out for nothing but the best, but i would definately get the law involved in this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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