A little insight...


Turkeygirl

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Ok I just thought I'd post this to see what kind of answers I would get. You all remember how I use to be friends with that girl until early last summer when I saw what a jerk she became. Anyway this past week like every single night I have had a dream with her in it. Uusually they somehow deal with what happened between her and me and my family but it has driven me nuts(well not really). I off and on do wonder how she is and think about emailing her or telling her brother on IM so say hi to her but I figure what use will it do...Mom said my dreams are because I haven't worked it out/gotten over it; it hasn't even been a year. The thing is as a Christian, we are suppose to forgive and I do not think I have really done that. I pray for that girl, hoping that Christ will open her heart one day and she will realize what she really did and the psychologicla help she needs. Anyway since I know they are alot of wonderful people on here who will listen, I just wanted to vent and see what you all thought. Sometimes it is easier to type on here what I feel than to explain to mom confused.gifsmirk.gif And no, I am not obsessing over this, I just found it interesting and annoying,lol.

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Re: A little insight...

Well, I'm fairly new here on the forums so I don't have the full story and would find it very unfair to dish out any judgements.

But was told by my father long ago that sometimes in giving forgivness may mean you taking the first step...

Seems to me that if this is something that has been weighing on your mind maybe this is something that you should deal with on your own terms.

Wish ya all the best ..... smile.gif

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Re: A little insight...

It's not unusual to have dreams like that this time of the year. I have them too, about the events of the past year. You hear folks on TV going over 2004 events and you hear others talking about how their year has been and how they are looking forward to the new year and your subconscious kind of goes into overtime.

I've had to deal with forgiveness of people close to me, a few times in my life.

It's one thing to know in your heart that you can and would forgive someone in your life at the drop of a hat, if they were to admit to their wrong doing and apologize even if they did so in a feeble way. It is another thing to actually have that happen and be able to complete that forgiving transaction that you have ready in your heart.

I have wrestled with this a few times and each time, the Lord reminds me of how he loved us and died on the cross for us, while we were still sinners. He did what was required to save us and forgive us, but the transaction couldn't take place until we came to him and asked for it. Even though that forgiveness was there for us all the time, we couldn't really get it until we asked, even though it was freely given.

TG,...If you know, in your heart, that you could forgive your friend in an instant, if she came to you and asked you too, then you have done your part. You have a forgiving heart, but you cannot make that transaction complete, because the rest does not involve your free-will, but someone else's. Much like our relationship with the Lord when we refuse to go to him for forgiveness...... it's there for the asking, but it is our stubbornness that keeps us from enjoying the freedom it brings.

You've done your part TG, by what I have heard from you. There is nothing else required of you, unless of course that old friend were to knock on your door to receive what you already have for her. You already know in your heart that it would be easy.

I hope you understand what I mean, because it will help you sleep at night. wink.gif

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Re: A little insight...

I agree with a lot of what Buckee has written, but I don't think you need to wait for this person to accept your forgiveness to receive the peace of mind you want. I think just the act of forgiving someone totally will take care of that, it is up to them whether they accept it or not, but that isn't your concern. There is no need for the other person to ask for your forgiveness, you should give it and then let it go. If you are still troubled by what she did then you haven't forgiven her totally.

Holding on to unforgiveness and ill will towards another will only hurt you, so let it go and let God take care of it in His own way! I think it might be a good idea to drop her an e-mail and wish her happy holidays. You never know what has gone on in her own life since you stopped talking.

I don't know what transpired between you both, but even if you can't be friends again, it is best for you to forgive and forget!

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Re: A little insight...

I agree with what Buckee and Maine say. Dreams, I believe, are a manifestations of your daily conscious and nightly subconscious thoughts. I dreamt of my old high school girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. confused.gif, but I don't feel compelled to go find her and start something with her.

I'd take Buckee's advice and be satisfied to know that you have forgiven her and now the ball is in her court.

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Re: A little insight...

[ QUOTE ]

I agree with what Buckee and Maine say. Dreams, I believe, are a manifestations of your daily conscious and nightly subconscious thoughts. I dreamt of my old high school girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. confused.gif, but I don't feel compelled to go find her and start something with her.

I'd take Buckee's advice and be satisfied to know that you have forgiven her and now the ball is in her court.

[/ QUOTE ]

ditto..........my sentiments exactly!!!!!!!

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Re: A little insight...

TG: you have some sound advice here.... both Buckee and Linda along with whttail have very sound points... Remember, forgiveness is a matter of the heart... I don't fully know the story of you and your friend, nor is it necessary for me to know what went on... What is important is that you have completely dealt with the past... and found forgiveness in your heart for whatever might have occured. I do not believe that dreams are a direct reflection of your subconcious thought activity, but I do believe God can use dreams to "point you in a direction".

If you have come to a peace about this friend... there most likely is no need to labor over her... I'm sure you have heard the old saying... Let go... let God.

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