dogdoc Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Here's the deal--you guys/gals tell me if I'm just an old grouch or do I have a valid point?? My wife is a stay at home mom. I work a good 40 to 50 hours a week. AT LEAST once a week she calls me and wants me to go to the grocery store--after a long day at work--to pick up a few items. So this afternoon she calls me at work--"Todd, can you stop by the grocery store and pick up a loaf of bread, some lettuce, a tomato, and some Ranch dressing for dinner tonight?" My response---"Didn't you just pick up the kids from school? Couldn't you have left a few minutes early and stopped by the store?" Wife: "Well I didn't know what I was going to cook for dinner when I left to pick up the kids." Todd: "Then why didn't you cook something that didn't require the above items?" Wife: "Fine--I'll just wait until you get home and I'll go get it." Todd: "No--I'll go ahead and get it." Wife: "Fine---click!!!" hmmm--Don't you just think God was bored when he made man and woman:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 i don't think its was outa line i geuss;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 He was something, but I don't know what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitetailkiller Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 you said she was a stay at home mom???? if so she should'nt need you to get anything !!!!! but i would have gotten the items and had a talk with her when i got home...the phone is just too impersonal...... it's too easy to get mad at someone over the phone... you have a valid point and if it was me i would talk to her and explain the deal----(you know about how tired you are after a hard days work, all you want to do is come home and eat and rest!!) i'm not in the same boat ..my wife runs a licensed daycare out of the house, i don't expect her to load 7 kids into her van to go get milk so i usually end up getting stuff like that!!!!!!!!! good luck with your situation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VermontHunter Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 LOL.... And you've been married how long Todd ??? ... :D There ABSOLUTELY NO ryhme or reason to a womans thought process.... other than they are always right .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Relationships tend to level themselves out with an episode like that every now and then. Little things just build to a head until one day KERPLOWY!!! Usually, there's an underlying issue I think. I think your underlying issue is "I work, you don't, you have all day to run around, why don't you hold up your end of the bargain?" Been there. Hope Kyle is reading this, lol. Hang in there Todd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeStandBowHunter Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Well, you asked for it... First off, my wife is a stay at home mom too so I can relate. We really don't have these problems because SHE KNOWS:D. Anyway, first off, I do not do grocery stores. That is one of the many reasons she stays home. I would have told her to pack sand too because I wouldn't have went. Secondly, you said that she hung up on you? That would be the last time. Tell her not to call you anymore. If she wants to talk to you, do it face to face. Nobody hangs up on me, especially a woman! Stand your ground Todd and never give in. Treat her with respect but be firm because once a woman knows she has you wrapped around her finger, then more grocery store stops will happen and so on and so on. Bottom line....make sure you always have the upper hand!!! Now, go pat yourself on the back for being a MAN:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Sometimes being a stay at home Mom makes you absentminded especially if your company includes nothing but little ones all day and no adult conversation. I'd give her a wee break. You have a really cool job. A stimulating one with really neat patients. Next time ask her to leave early before she picks up kids. I see your point but I can also empathize with her too. Her job isn't easy either and I'm sure she's just as tired as you in the evenings. Either that or you guys need to start taking some SERIOUS grocery shopping trips and buy a ton of stuff in one TRIP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Been there done that many times. The best thing to do now that you've voiced your dissatisfaction is to just suck it up, go get the groceries, and give her a kiss when you get in the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 I would have just came straight home. Oops i forgot! If the kids were at school all day she could have went out and got them herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin R10 man Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Todd,...I guess you dont like a good salad huh??? By the way..I dont shop..so I dont get those calls...but have stopped in the past when asked... what you need to do is set up a weekly menu and then when she goes shopping, everything is there..hopefully Todd, ya gotta do what ya gotta do....you stay home and take care of the kids and do the housework and etc.... aint as easy as it looks good luck..its cold in the doghouse...LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nativetexan Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 I'm going to agree with Andrea here..but I will ask if stopping at the grocery store was really a big deal considering she was cooking your dinner, picking up your kids, doing your laundry, cleaning up your house, and god knows what else? I agree that if mom's choose to stay home, then yes, her part of the bargain is the household. But, making mountains out of molehills over bread and tomato's is really kinda not important-ish. Not to mention, that small gesture she asked of you will eventually breed resentment when it comes to larger things, and will ultimately get thrown back in your face when a bigger situation arises. NOTE: Women do not forget ANYTHING of this nature. Trust me. A piece of unwelcome advice would probably be, do the right thing, stop and get some bread and tomato. If she hung up on you, then well, she hung up on you. Unimportant. Any argument that ends in "fine" is kinda childish anyway. I learned real quick the value of my wife when she deployed to the middle east over the summer for 4 months and left me here working a full time job also in the military, juggling a 4 and 2 year old, and running the household. Did it all by myself without any help from my mommy, or anyone else for that matter. I'm sure most of you have read that the salary range for a stay at home mom according to a national study of comparative paid jobs is somewhere near $100k a year. So lets say that mom gets up at 7 a.m. and spends her day doing household stuff while the kids are at school, then when they get out of school, she is still working (dinner, homework help, prep for next day, baths, etc.) maybe finally knocking off about 8 p.m. Multiply that times 5 days a week, that is roughly 65 hours a week working, unpaid. At least this is what I am used to when it comes to stay at home moms. My mother would knock my block off for treating a lady like that, and so would my dad. A good rule of thumb is you wouldn't talk to your mother that way, so why are you talking to the mother of your kids that way? They are both mothers correct? That is just my opinion. I have a hard time with other men who can't step up and help the family in any little way because they "work." Sorry...and trust me, I get plenty of ridicule from my friends because of it, but I also remind them that the more I help, the more I get...and that usually shuts them up pretty quick. I do nice things, I get rewarded... If you have ever gotten the "i'm tired" excuse, now you know why. Simple arithmetic...your favor subtracted from her workload=not tired. The odds are definitely in your favor. And that's what its all about right? Putting the odds in your favor...bread and maters are a small price to pay in the bigger picture. If you wanted someone who wasn't going to talk back, you should have married a geisha. Women just aren't subserviant anymore. Honestly, that started dying in the 60's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beagleboy Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Definately been there before. I'm not getting involved!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeNRA Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 hmmm--Don't you just think God was bored when he made man and woman:confused: Then again! Maybe he did this to keep himself amused!!! :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeNRA Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Well, you asked for it... First off, my wife is a stay at home mom too so I can relate. We really don't have these problems because SHE KNOWS:D. Anyway, first off, I do not do grocery stores. That is one of the many reasons she stays home. I would have told her to pack sand too because I wouldn't have went. Secondly, you said that she hung up on you? That would be the last time. Tell her not to call you anymore. If she wants to talk to you, do it face to face. Nobody hangs up on me, especially a woman! Stand your ground Todd and never give in. Treat her with respect but be firm because once a woman knows she has you wrapped around her finger, then more grocery store stops will happen and so on and so on. Bottom line....make sure you always have the upper hand!!! Now, go pat yourself on the back for being a MAN:D In the famous words of the TOOL MAN!!! ughhhhhhhhh? LMBO!!! Good to have you back Mike!!! :D:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrubhunter Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 I've been married ten years now and our ONLY arguments are food related! As for the stay at home part, getting groceries is part of her "job" so I think you had every right to get upset. I agree staying at home with the kids, I have 3 girls, is no picnic, but it ain't a 12 hour job either! I had to stay at home for a week taking care of our two daughters last year while my wife went out of town due to a death and it's NOWHERE near as bad as working all week. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for stay at home moms, I wish we could afford for my wife not to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nativetexan Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 I just don't think it is that big of a deal to stop and pick up a few things when asked. The old saying "When momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" is very, very true. My experience with that subject when I did that one time (and only one time) was: I said "you should have gotten it." She said "Starve then." I said "you go get it" She said "ok, I will when you get here." When I walked in the door, she was mad, the kids were mad because she was mad, and I spent the rest of the night listening to us and the kids fight because mom was pissed at dad. Now, come home from a 12 hour shift and listen to that. Yee Haw. No thanks. I'll be stopping at the grocery store, get my dinner, park my rear with the kids, and relax. Part of being a man is controlling your own destiny. It can be good or it can suck, but either way, 9 times out of 10 it is all you. Each time the cell rings, you are standing at a fork in the road. The path you choose will yield the expected result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Never Happened! In 40 years of marriage, that has never happened because I don't do the shopping! When I do, it is a spur of the moment type thing and all I get are extra "goodies"! My wife has not and she never will call me to stop and bring home some things! I guess I am spoiled! Sure love it though! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 I just don't think it is that big of a deal to stop and pick up a few things when asked. The old saying "When momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" is very, very true. My experience with that subject when I did that one time (and only one time) was: I said "you should have gotten it." She said "Starve then." I said "you go get it" She said "ok, I will when you get here." When I walked in the door, she was mad, the kids were mad because she was mad, and I spent the rest of the night listening to us and the kids fight because mom was pissed at dad. Now, come home from a 12 hour shift and listen to that. Yee Haw. No thanks. I'll be stopping at the grocery store, get my dinner, park my rear with the kids, and relax. Part of being a man is controlling your own destiny. It can be good or it can suck, but either way, 9 times out of 10 it is all you. Each time the cell rings, you are standing at a fork in the road. The path you choose will yield the expected result. LOL, this is a VERY WISE MAN. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohiobucks Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Next time she asks you to stop, say "No problem". Pick up what she wants you to get, plus about $100 worth of "junk" that you had to have. You know - ice cream, chips, beer, whole milk, etc. She won't send you again.... Same works for the dishes in the dishwasher, put the dirty ones away once and tell her, "Hey, I thought they were clean!" Won't ever be your job again.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Next time she asks you to stop, say "No problem". Pick up what she wants you to get, plus about $100 worth of "junk" that you had to have. You know - ice cream, chips, beer, whole milk, etc. She won't send you again.... Same works for the dishes in the dishwasher, put the dirty ones away once and tell her, "Hey, I thought they were clean!" Won't ever be your job again.... This doesn't work for my kids, it sure doesn't work for the husband. Momma's no fool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohiobucks Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 This doesn't work for my kids, it sure doesn't work for the husband. Momma's no fool. You callin' my wife a dummy? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeStandBowHunter Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Well see there shouldn't of ever been an argument in the first place. No screaming, no yelling. Simply "NO" I am not stopping. She would get over it eventually. But the hanging up of the phone on me would of really bothered me. We don't have these problems though. I get everything I want :Dand so does she. Everyone in the house knows the ground rules and that is the important part. Mind your father is the rule of thumb for the kids. Take care of your husband is the rule of thumb for her just like he takes care of you. Let me handle the bills and what we need to survive. You handle all the logistics:D Man, looking at some of this replies....I pitty some of you:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Finn Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 I see you're trying to use logic and common sense in dealing with her.....won't work, I'll bet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Honestly Todd, I can see both sides of this, and would also have to agree with Andrea. Our kids are pretty well behaved, but sometimes dragging the kids in a store can be an event, especially if you have one parent with two or more young kids. Going when the kids are at school is another option so long as the kids are all in school. I do most of our grocery getting here. Our youngest is not quite 2 yet, I have on many occasions overlooked getting things I needed to pick, even things I had on a list for her having to be held or for her being cranky for whatever reason. Can see your side wanting to just get home too though, especially after a long day. Think if it is not out of the way though to stop and pick up a few items, it should not be a big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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