QDMAworks4me Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 I really like to laugh as I am sure many of you do also. I was talking to people the other day about different memories and things people have said. I was wondering what the funniest thing you have heard someone say before when you were around..... Let me give you an example, you have to understand that my father has a pretty good sense of humor and likes to kid around with people and can keep a straight face through most anything. Well my buddy had his girlfriend over to the house one day and it was a hot hot summer day and as my father was getting ready to go outside my buddies girlfriend says "I'm hot" and as my dad is walking by he goes "ehh I'd say about average" (pertaining to her looks) and kept walking :eek: her jaw hit the floor and I never laughed so hard!!! I know some of you have some real good stories let's hear them :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unioncountyslayer Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 I was over at my wife's grandparents farm about a year ago and the whole family is sitting around the dinner table. Somehow we got to talking about weight, gaining weight, losing it, etc. My wife's grandmother said, "You know, I weigh the same today that I did on my wedding day". And without batting an eye, her grandfather responded by saying, "Well, it looks like some of it has shifted around on you a bit since then." We were rolling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michiganbowhunter_SQ2 Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 I have a bunch of cousins, but there are a bunch of us (about 7 or 8) who when we get together...it's no hold barred, drop the gloves just making fun of each other. Usually no one gets mad, but there is CONSTANT laughing. One day, my 2 cousins were going at it (brother and sister), I forget what they were "talking" about, but everyone else was sitting there cracking up, and you could tell my one cousin was getting frustrated, it was pretty funny. Well after a few minutes of it, the older one (the brother) said "Nina you're smart", she was so frustrated that I don't think she heard what he said and quickly came back with "NO I'M NOT!!" everyone about fell to the floor laughing. That was about 5 or 6 years ago and we still today make fun of her for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 Well, the funniest thing I heard from my wife this year was: As some of you know, I got this. slow release capsulized , female hormone, implanted in my butt last April, and another one in September, after the operation in my abdomen , to shrink my Prostate down in size. It literally diminishes a males testosterone levels. (enough said ) Well, one day last fall, I was just sitting hear at the computer, and casually turned around to see my wife with a big smile on her face. I have a pretty good sense of humour, so I pretended I was angry and said, "OK, who's your new boyfriend?" She was quick with the come-back, and said "Never-mind me, Who's yours" Well, I almost fell over and rolled on the floor. I owe her for that one though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohiobucks Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 My buddy and I were on a co-ed softball team, he recruited his younger sister to play for us. She shows up to the first practice and proudly tells her brother, "I've lost about 20 pounds." John tells Mindy, "Yeah I could tell, turn around for us." She spins, loving the attention she is getting when John yells out, "Ahh! Found it!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southerngirl Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 oh my, where to begin....... The best one I've had a hand in lately was this fall down at the garden. Dad always plants a HUGE garden and shares with the family / friends. He had a bunch of friends down there picking greenbeans and he handed one of them a pepper and told her to try it, as she would like it, it was a sweet banana pepper of course Angie ~No way Burton, I know you, it's hot Dad ~ no it ain't try it, it's sweet Angie~ you think I'm that stupid?? Dad~ Fine hand it back I'll try it first Angie~ You like to eat hot stuff!! me~ I'll try it then, give it here. ~~I take a bite of pepper~~ Angie~ ~~watching me carefully~~ Did you swallow that? Open up now ofcourse I ate the pepper and kept a straight face the whole time, then handed the pepper back to Angie who has finally decided that it is indeed a sweet pepper and takes a big bite of it well I can't say what Angie said cause this is a family forum, but me and Dad got chased around the garden while being called some nasty names ............... So now when ever I see Angie I ask her if she wants a sweet banana pepper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazylegz70 Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 keep in mind that I have two hip replacements and kinda walk like a mallard...LOL Being the picky eater that I am , I like dark meat when it comes to chicken and I went into KFC one day and asked for 2 legs......I lost it for about 10 minutes..... The only other time that i completely lost it, I went into a gas station after pumping my fuel and walked past the attendant and said something to the effect of "I have gas, I will be right back" I proceeded to walk into the restroom and when i got back out I looked at her and said "I meant to say fuel...." and she said , "i wondered what the **** you were talking about..." LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 Oh, tons, too many to remember. One this past year while Ohiobucks and I were taking a lunch break....... Not a word was spoken, but Tom's buddy Woody has this farm hand, who is down to one front tooth. We were all standing around watching Woody auger up some corn into his silo, then both Tom and I looked at "Yard Dog" and noticed him looking up to the top of the silo. Ol' Yard Dog's one tooth was hanging out, and Tom and I saw the one big tooth hanging out at the same time, and we just kind of looked at each other, but we couldn't laugh like we wanted to. Hoooo boy, I know about 99% of you are thinking "what the..." You had to be there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 My buddy and I were on a co-ed softball team, he recruited his younger sister to play for us. She shows up to the first practice and proudly tells her brother, "I've lost about 20 pounds." John tells Mindy, "Yeah I could tell, turn around for us." She spins, loving the attention she is getting when John yells out, "Ahh! Found it!!" Thought you were going to tell them the dike story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeramie Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 We had a luncheon meeting with our finacial department here at work about two weeks ago. Our CFO (Chief Financial Officer, who also happens to be an owner) was seated toward the middle of the table talking. All attention was on him as he went over billing, accounts receivable, etc. He was using his hands to help him talk when suddenly his pen flew out of his hand, went across the table and hit the little Asian accountant they had just recently hired. Without missing a beat he looked to the girl on his left and said, "Call HR (human resources) and tell them we need another one." He then turned back to the crown and continued..... We laughed until we hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
preacherman Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 A few years ago when we were playing church league softball, we were playing an African American church, which just happened to have a co-ed team. We were in the dugout on the first base side and there was a very large lady coaching first base. One of their guys hit the ball and ran down, huffing and puffing, to first base. When he got there, he was very winded and looked at her and said, "I need to get in shape!" She, without missing a beat, looked at him and said, "You are in shape, round is a shape!" I, and all the guys from my church lost it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin R10 man Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 I'll keep this clean as possible for the family. Had a tire go flat on the forwarder....the service guy gets out there..and we were WAAAAAAAY out there.....he gets out of the service truck and I say "hey Walt, ya found us"!!..He looks at me and says; "you guys are so far back in the sticks the owls are "doing" the chickens"!!!...I fell to the ground laughing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 no More Cheese For You!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coles Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 my younger bro brought his girlfriend out to my grandparents house on thanksgiving and she is a pretty good looking tiny girl. well my grandpa's whole side of the family was there from louisiana and my grandpas brother is a funny guy and loves to tease people. when my bro and his girl walked in the door he introduced her to all of them and my grandpas brother says "hayden, she is not nearly as fat and ugly as you said she was!" the look on his face and her face was priceless and we all busted a gut! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 This guy I used to work with, who had a limited vocabulary, once said... "Half the m***** f***** up in this m***** f***** be dumb as a m***** f****." I laughed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southerngirl Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 say he had a limited vocabulary?? was he a Marine?? They are the only ones i know with a mouth that bad............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QDMAworks4me Posted February 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Thought you were going to tell them the dike story. That sounds like a story that needs to be told haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QDMAworks4me Posted February 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Great stories so far, there has got to be a few more people with stories to tell :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 That sounds like a story that needs to be told haha That would get him banned. A PM might work though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GobblerBuster618 Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 Well lets see my gf right now just became a pro indoor cheerleader for the columbus destroyers ... she was talking to a guy we know and said who knows maybe you can try out for the cinncinatti bengals and she asked me if she would have to go to school there to be a cheerleader for them.. i just laughed and said they're pro hun not college. she cracks me up sometimes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 i was in a bar years ago, and one of our buddies was hitting on a pretty plump girl. this guy was in the mobile home hauling business. well, as he was about to leave with that girl, another buddy asked if he'd like him to put up the "wide load" banner on his truck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCH Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 We were at a bar one night that had a mechanical bull. We were all sitting around a table watching everyone ride. We had already took our turns on it and were getting a kick at all the drunks. This one cocky guy gets up there and starts mouthing at the guy on the controls. Says he's a bullrider and ain't never been bucked off a real bull much less a mechanical one and all that jazz. Anyway, he gets on the bull and the guy on the controls hits the button and it looks to be on the fastest speed available. Everytime the bull would go back, the guys head would go forward and hit the front. I think he must've hit the bull at least 3 times before it threw him. He even almost landed off the mat, but ended up rolling off onto the hardwood floor. Anyway, the guy gets up and it looks like he's bleeding pretty bad. Probably needed stitches over one of his eyes and his lip. Well, as you can guess, it was a little funny to all the onlookers including us. Next thing you know, a girl comes buy with a hat in her hand collecting money. One of the girls at our table says, "Well, that sure is sweet. Are ya'll collecting money for his hospital bill??" The girl didn't blink an eye and said, "Heck, no honey. I figure if we get up enough, he might ride it again." I laughed so hard I cried. :D:D I could also tell a story about a True Talker Grunt tube that had me laughing so hard my gut hurt, but that's probably not suitable for a public forum. Not to mention Jason(Gator) might not like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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