MCH Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 DOG DIARY 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. How dare they! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 LMBO!! Truthful!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 now that's good. and soooooo true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 So true about the cat!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Yep, I've seen that before. Seems pretty much true. Seinfeld did a thing on dogs and their memory, "Hey, it's that guy again...." Two minutes later "hey, it's that guy!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 LMBO. Yep, been a while, but seen it before too. Funny and seemingly true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davetucker Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 lmbo!!!my first but funnier then heck!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun_300 Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 LOL! First time seeing that one, pretty funny and true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Yup, very true...dogs are very simple, stupid animals... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Yup, very true...dogs are very simple, stupid animals... Oh BOY!! HELP!!!!!:eek::D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aksheephuntress Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 ........THAT was great!!...I just love a good old dog.....Cats are nice, too....but it always seems like they have a hidden agenda. ....There are "dog-people" and "cat people",too!.....hmmmm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest satchmo's girl Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Thanks for posting this....I have been looking through my old emails for it. I love it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowtech_archer07 Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 That is hilarious!! Never seen it before! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Ooooh that is good.:D:D:D Still love my retarded dogs.......:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardwood_HD Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 lol i like that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted March 3, 2008 Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 that was great :p:D:D:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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