BowJoe Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 My wife and I just had a debate in which she started crying because I don't want my daughter to ever think Santa is real. I, instead, want her to understand that Santa is just a physical representation of the Spirit of Christmas. I'll tell her not to tell the other children who still believe Santa is real. I don't want to start out my child's life by lying to her. She thinks I'm cruel and mean about this but I will tell her regardless of what my wife thinks. I look at it as being honest and I don't think it's destroying her childhood fantasies. Imagine how bad she'll feel when she finds out he's not real. Lots of questions to answer and tears to dry up when that would happen. Instead, she'll understand easier and better what Christmas is really about. I think the focus on Santa is more harmful since the kids only like Santa because of the presents and what they'll get instead of the true spirit of the season which is giving to others and not what you get in return. Am I wrong or do ya'll get my point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Finn Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I think you're wrong. Some of the most joy a child has is anticipating Santa coming and putting out cookies and milk. Can't imagine depriving my kids of enjoying Christmas the way they did. Let em have fun while they're little....plenty enough time for reality after the age of 8 - 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I think you're wrong. Some of the most joy a child has is anticipating Santa coming and putting out cookies and milk. Can't imagine depriving my kids of enjoying Christmas the way they did. Let em have fun while they're little....plenty enough time for reality after the age of 8 - 10 Ditto. I've never heard of a kid holding a grudge against a parent for the "lie" about Santa. I for one will never admit to a kid that there's no Santa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinch314 Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I understand your point but I also think that it is vital for a childs imagination to believe in such things. She will tell her friends regardless of what you tell her not to do. I agree with Finn on the anticipation. There will come a time when she comes up and asks you if he is real but until then I believe it would be better to let her believe for it is sooooooo much fun to think Santa is coming and trying to stay awake to see him and his reindeer. At least that is my opinion and how Im going to handle my daughter in regards to Santa. It gives her hope and imagination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RangerClay Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I think you're wrong. Some of the most joy a child has is anticipating Santa coming and putting out cookies and milk. Can't imagine depriving my kids of enjoying Christmas the way they did. Let em have fun while they're little....plenty enough time for reality after the age of 8 - 10 Ditto. I've never heard of a kid holding a grudge against a parent for the "lie" about Santa. I for one will never admit to a kid that there's no Santa. Triple. Do you have a childhood grudge agianst Santa? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Got to agree with Craig here too Joe. This topic actually came up here a few years back with another member, not going to name who. My oldest 12 has known for a good while, but she plays along as to not ruin it for our 2 younger daughters. At 12 she understands the excitement and enthusiasm our 2 younger daughters get, really think you can explain the true meaning of Christmas and also still let kids enjoy the spirit of Santa and what it means, after all it kind of goes hand in hand with giving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QDMAworks4me Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I agree with everyone here, let her be a kid, I thought santa was real and I am sure that many others thought santa was real as a kid and I know I never cried when I found out that he is not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nut Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 My best Christmas memories are not when I believed in Santa, it was when I was Santa. With grown sons.....there is not the same joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbeck Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 My little one thinks that Santa is giving out the gifts because he has been so blessed by God. He does it on Jesus Birthday to help celebrate Christ's birth. We have Not jepradized the true meaning of Christmas, only added to the anticipation. JMO, but remember your the Dad here. You will do what you feel is best for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texastrophies Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 You are WRONG. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swamphunter Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Ditto. I've never heard of a kid holding a grudge against a parent for the "lie" about Santa. I for one will never admit to a kid that there's no Santa. I agree..let em' be children My opinion is society today is forcing our children to become adults at a younger and younger age. Its refreshing to see a child be a child and enjoy the anticipation of santa coming to the house. It is one of my fondest memories as a child. In my opinion I feel you are wrong in the discussion with your wife and that your child will bear no ill will for letting him believe. Just my opinion, please take no offense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andrea Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I agree with Jeff ( jbeck) that's the most appropriate way to incorporate Santa into Christ's birth. And you won't have to crush her spirit by telling her there's no Santa one day.........most kids learn it on their own at school from their friends. And they really don't mind.....as long as SOMEONE is putting gifts under the tree.....they don't care HOW they get there. LOL;):) You aren't being a bad father for "lying" to your child. She's not going to be scarred for life because she finds out one day that Santa wasn't real. I found out.....I'm still okay.:D:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I'm not going to suggest how you should raise your child, but why strip your kid from all that fun? Especially if this is causing a fight between you and your wife. I remember when I figured out Santa wasn't real, I wasn't upset at all and got over it really quick. Matter of fact, I remember thinking how nice it was that my mom and dad went through all that trouble to make that holiday so much more special for me. If they would have told me from the womb Santa wasn't real- I think I would have resented them for that. Kids like presents- and they're going to get more excited about new toys they they'll ever get about the "true spririt of Christmas." It's just their nature...and that's healthy. When they get older, they'll understand the true meaning of the holiday- as I'm sure you yourself learned to understand it. Anyway, what does this day really have to do with spirituality? I'm very into the material aspects of Christmas because it's fun and I love to give and receive new things to the one's I love. This doesn't have any bearing on my spiritual beliefs, and I don't think doing so takes me further away from God. Just my 2 cents- and ultimately- this is between you and your wife. I'll just suggest rethinking your stance and maybe considering your daughter and your wife's feelings a little more. At the end of the day, I'm sure your daughter will grow to love God and be a well adjusted adult- even if Santa brings her the new Barbie mansion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawg Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 My wife and I just had a debate in which she started crying because I don't want my daughter to ever think Santa is real. I, instead, want her to understand that Santa is just a physical representation of the Spirit of Christmas. I'll tell her not to tell the other children who still believe Santa is real. I don't want to start out my child's life by lying to her. She thinks I'm cruel and mean about this but I will tell her regardless of what my wife thinks. I look at it as being honest and I don't think it's destroying her childhood fantasies. Imagine how bad she'll feel when she finds out he's not real. Lots of questions to answer and tears to dry up when that would happen. Instead, she'll understand easier and better what Christmas is really about. I think the focus on Santa is more harmful since the kids only like Santa because of the presents and what they'll get instead of the true spirit of the season which is giving to others and not what you get in return. Am I wrong or do ya'll get my point? Absolutely, positively, without a shadow of a doubt agree with you. My son, whom is 7, was told at an early age that santa was not real, nor the tooth fairy or the easter bunny. Most of you would be surprised to know that he doesn't suffer from any depression or lack of joy when Christmas gets here. He is perfectly fine knowing that daddy and momma, grandma and grandpa, aunt and uncle are the one's who give him presents. A lie is a lie, no matter how little it is or who it is told to. We raise our children to tell us the truth, shouldn't we do the same for them? How can anyone feel just when they punish their child for lying? The child may not hold a grudge against you for lying to them, but God remembers every lie. Who would you want mad at you, your child or God? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Yeah, I'm sure there are tons of souls burning in eternal flames- all parents who lied to their kids about Santa. Burn sinners!!!!!!! BURN!!!!! Give me a break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawg Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Yeah, I'm sure there are tons of souls burning in eternal flames- all parents who lied to their kids about Santa. Burn sinners!!!!!!! BURN!!!!! Give me a break. Apparently you don't read the Word of God. No it doesn't say that if we tell our children about santa we will burn, but it does say that every liar will have their part in the lake of fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinch314 Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Question. How is a figment of a childs imagination a lie? Did you not have imaginary friends as a child? I dont see what is wrong about playing along with a childs imagination. Now if they ask you if a person is real then tell them the truth but other than that let them dream and grow. Just my two cents worth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kat Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 I am with your wife bud.... Sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawg Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Is santa real? No. Is the easter bunny real? No. Is the tooth fairy real? No. Would it be a lie if you told them the sky was brown? Yes. Why? Because the sky isn't brown, just like santa doesn't exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Apparently you don't read the Word of God. No it doesn't say that if we tell our children about santa we will burn, but it does say that every liar will have their part in the lake of fire. It sounds like you're agreeing with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinch314 Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Santa is a person providing gifts Easter Bunny is a person providing eggs and candy Tooth Fairy is a person providing money for teeth They are all people playing a part. Dressing up to excite the kids. Like clowns and actors in movies. We know they aint real but we enjoy them just the same. (except maybe the clown part for me because I hate clowns.) Right now I know that my kid thinks that I am the biggest and best thing in the world. I enjoy that. I also know that when she gets older that that will change. Why change her image now. I know that I am Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy rolled into one. I am happy to play those parts for my child. Another thing. Do you tell your child bedtime stories or read them children's books? If so, do you tell them this isnt true before starting the story/book or do you just let them imagine? Of course if you read them non fiction or tell them actual stories then this doesnt really count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawg Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 It sounds like you're agreeing with me. Not hardly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggs Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Not hardly! Yeah, really, how I could think burning in eternal flames and a soul having "their part in the lake of fire" are similar? My mistake. (sarcasim implied). It's good to have faith...just not blind faith. There's different levels to what you might call a lie, or a sin bud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowtech_archer07 Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Sorry hogdawg I gotta agree with your wife as well. I never held a grudge against my parents for letting me believe in Santa. I believe it's very important for kids to believe in Santa and have an imagination when they are a child. If your child develops and imaginary friend, or plays with a cardboard box pretending that it's a cave in Huckleberry Finn, or something are you going to tell him that's not real either? IMHO, kids need to have an imagination, I mean, it's your child, but I have disagree with you here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinch314 Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 It is your choice and your opinion if thats what you want to do. I respect that, Im just trying to give you other ways of looking at it too. I know growing up I used to imagine that I was John Wayne on True Grit or Jim Craig on The Man from Snowy River. Heck I even do that today just for the fun of it. I know its not real but it sure is fun. I aint even gonna tell you who I imagine I am sometimes when Im hunting lol. Its just fun to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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