Bi-Partisan humor regarding chicken crossing the road


EKYhunter

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a

change!

The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he

recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the

chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little

chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to

ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the

chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We

just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The

chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the

satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your

definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now

against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the

chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that

he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes

after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help

him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems

before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why

he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn

from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to

give

this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live

his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we

have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see

it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was

going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when

the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,

the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody

told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be

listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story

of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to

accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,

in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross

roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your

checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new

platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road

move

beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

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