MCH Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. * P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. * P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit * P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. * P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. * P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. * P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. * P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. * P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. * P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. * P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search * P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. * P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. * P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. * And the best one for last... * P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c_lou Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Or from Quantas. Still always funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whttlbucksteve Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 That is good still laughing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 airplane pilots & mechanics take their jobs very, very seriously. i'm glad to see humor like this injected. lots of fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Or from Quantas. Still always funny. quantas had a mid air accident oct. 7, 2008. no deaths, but 20 serious injuries. a mid air collision with no deaths is a miracle in itself.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10acboy Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Now that's funny. I really like: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Seen that a few times before. Still good for some laughs.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kat Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 I personally like the last one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Good stuff. Reminds me of the lawyers in court one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbuck145 Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Thats some funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladybird Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 That is really funny and I agree I like the last one.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backwoods07 Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 I like the "engine number 3 missing" one. They're all pretty funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clrj3514 Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 i like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beagleboy Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 It's got me laughing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeNRA Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 That was good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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