jbeck Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 (edited) These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!! 1 Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Somewhere, somehow your son is depriving a village of an 'idiot'. 5. Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together. 7. This child has been working with glue too much 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 11. it's impossible to believe the 1 sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others. 12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead. These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: [13. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.' 14. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile.' 15. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.' 16. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.' 17. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.' 18. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?' 19. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?' 20. 'Warning! You want a warning? OK. I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.' 21. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you ar e drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?' 22. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.' 23. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.' 24. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.' 25. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?' 26. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.' 27. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.' AND THE WINNER IS.... 28. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.' Edited January 22, 2009 by jbeck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotashRLS Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 OMG I should have put on a pair of Depends today:o. I think I wet my pants laughing so hard. Those are hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinch314 Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 I know that almost all the cop ones are true lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbeck Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 I thought the teachers in here would love some of those. LOL IF you were any more stupid you'd have to be watered twice a day. LMBOROF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clrj3514 Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 that made my day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladybird Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 rotf lmao,those are really funny,you really made my day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun_300 Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 LOL! Those are freakin FUNNY!!!!! :D:D:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adjam5 Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 i think most of those teacher ones are attributable to chris.... lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doe-ee Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Those cops have a great sense of humor! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardwood_HD Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 i think some of those were on my report card lol!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 i think most of those teacher ones are attributable to chris.... lol Doubt they are true, but you never know. We have 103 pre-labeled comments. I can't make a comment outside of the pre-labeled ones unfortunately. I know of one comment that a teacher made during a conference, and I have it on a good source that it's true. Apparently this teacher in our building ended a conference with the comment, "your son has absolutely now redeeming qualities whatsoever." Now that's class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Doubt they are true, but you never know. We have 103 pre-labeled comments. I can't make a comment outside of the pre-labeled ones unfortunately. I know of one comment that a teacher made during a conference, and I have it on a good source that it's true. Apparently this teacher in our building ended a conference with the comment, "your son has absolutely now redeeming qualities whatsoever." Now that's class. I bet someone got hold of your diary, Bart :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I bet someone got hold of your diary, Bart :D LOL--nope, not me Sherm. It was a guy before my time. Apparently this guy played for the Jets. I don't remember his name, Ken something or other. I met him once when he came back to substitute for us. He was a giant of a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruttinbuc Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 These bring back so many memories of my elementary years...I think I heard #1 while in the 2nd grade... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 True or not those are funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gzilla45 Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.' Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aksheephuntress Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 ...Hillarious!! -and that last one, the "winner", is really funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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