2005 Edition of you might be a Redneck

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Gator Monster Buck

Gator

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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the

side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000.00 worth of

improvements.

28. You have used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

Oh boy, some of these confirm it for me! grin.gif

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buckee Monster Buck

buckee

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Re: 2005 Edition of you might be a Redneck

[ QUOTE ]

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.

[/ QUOTE ] Yeah, it's a shame we can't do that anymore here. That is the greatest recycling of all, but since they have gone to "Official" recycling at the dump, we now have gaurds and you can't take nothing.

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lil hunter Monster Buck

lil hunter

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Re: 2005 Edition of you might be a Redneck

Probably some repeats, but heres my collection.

1.your dog and you wallet are both on a chain

2.an episode of walker Texas Ranger has ever changed your life

3.you have a home that’s mobile, and 14 cars that aren’t

4.you’ve ever seen a sign that says “say no to crack” and it reminded you to pull your jeans up

5.your wives hair-do has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan

6.you’ve ever made change from the offering plate

7.your wife has ever told you” get this transmission outta here so I can take a shower”

8.you’ve ever taken your dog for a walk and you both used the same tree

9.you buy furniture just for your front yard

10.you’ve ever mowed the lawn and found 3 cars

11.you keep a flyswatter in the front seat so you can reach your kids in the back seat

12.your boat hasn’t left your driveway in 20 years

13.you’ve ever been too drunk to fish

14.a sheet of bobble-wrap can entertain you for hours

15.the animal you are eating, is hangin over the fireplace

16.any of your kids have been born on a pool table

17.You’ve ever stared at a glass of orange juice because it said concentrate.

18.you’ve been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws

19.anyone in your family has ever died after saying “hey guys, watch this”

20.your family tree doesn’t fork

21.your porch has ever collapsed and killed more than 5 dogs

22.you can entertain yourself all day with a flyswatter

23.you wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean

24.If you’ve been on tv more than 5 times describing what the tornado sounded like

25.if your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade

26.if someone ever asked you to show them your id, and you show them your belt buckle

27.if everyday somebody comes to door mistakenly thinking your havin a yard sale

28.if you go to the family reunion to meet women

29.if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit

30.if your grandmother has ammo on her Christmas list

31.if your working tv sits on top of your non-working tv

32.if your lawn furniture use to be your living room furniture

33.if you’ve ever been accused of lying through your tooth

34.if you’ve ever had hot flashes at a cattle auction

35.if you refer to your wife and your mother in-law as dual airbags

36.if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor

37.if your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to take the wheels off of it

38.if you refer to the 5th grade as “my senior year”

39.if you’ve ever taken a beer to a job interview

40.if you can burp and say your name at the same time

41.if you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say cool-whip on the side

42.if your wife says she’s game and you shoot her

43.if your panty lines can be seen from aerial photographs

44.if your dog passes gas, and you claim it

45.if you’ve ever used your ironing bored as a buffet table

46.if you think, nsync is where your dishes are

47.if you think a 401k is your mother in-laws bra size

48.if your dads cell number has nothing to do with a phone

49.if you work without a shirt on, and so does you husband

50.if you’ve ever worn a tube top to a funeral home

51.if you’ve ever emptied the bed of your pick-up truck by going backwards really fast, and slamming on the breaks

52.if you’ve ever ridden an electric floor buffer

53.if you’ve ever used a barstool for a walker

54.if you think a nutcracker is something you do off a high-dive

55.if you have a window air conditioner, on the back of your truck

56.you like to brag that you learned how to fire a shotgun before you could read

57.you’ve ever vacationed at a highway rest area

58.you check the mileage on your home

59.your lifelong goal is to own a fireworks stand

60.the biggest city you’ve ever been to is wal-mart

61.directions to your house includes “turn off the gravel road”

62.you go outside to get something from your fridge

63.you do all your shopping at a truck stop

64.your mother has stocked up on ammo

65.you can’t marry your sweetheart because there’s a law against it

66.your belt buckle is bigger than your head

67.your flyswatter doubles as your spatula

68.your gas pedal is the shape of a human foot

69.you think the first 4 words of the national anthem are “gentleman, start your engines”

70.you go to a party ad the punch bowl flushes

71.the dog catcher calls for a back-up unit when at your house

72.your property has been mistaken as a recycling center

73.your toilet paper has page numbers

74.if you buy furniture for the front yard

75.you have more appliances on your porch than you do in your house

76.You consider all cola’s a coke. There’s no such thing as Dr Pepper, Pepsi, etc, it’s all coke

77.while in your truck, you can look down and see the road

78.you never pronounce the g on the end of a word” workin, fishin…

79.you consider someone out of your league if they bowl on a different night

80.your aunt does all her Christmas shopping at Bass pro

81.you name your kid after the bow you shoot

82.you’ve ever spent your entire vacation in a tree stand

83.your cadilac has 44” tires

84.Your idea of romance is sharing a spit cup with your girlfriend at the tractor pull

85.You have a Bumper stick that says” My mom is an honor student at Brickwood Junior High”

86.On your honeymoon you had to hitch hike

87.Your best sofa came out of a chevy

88.you find your wives beer belly a “turn on”

89.you think wind sprints is running from a fart

90.you clean your toilet with the toothbrush you use everyday

91.your lawn mower is a goat

92.your pillow case doubles as your bowling bag

93.your mom says” ya’ll come look at this before I flush it”

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GWSmith Monster Buck

GWSmith

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Re: 2005 Edition of you might be a Redneck

[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.

[/ QUOTE ] Yeah, it's a shame we can't do that anymore here.............but since they have gone to "Official" recycling at the dump, we now have gaurds and you can't take nothing.

[/ QUOTE ]

If your "Officials" are anything like some of ours down here...LOL....Let them stay at the dump. We cant get ours to go there wink.gif

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