JJL Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Ponder on these imponderables for a minute: 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. What hair colour do they put on the driver' licences of bald men? 15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks? 16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post? 17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $3.50 on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: 20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that 1 enjoys it? 23. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo? 24. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Some good ones. You must be very bored this morning! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TennesseeTurkey Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 LOL bored today are we JJL? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJL Posted March 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 LOL bored today are we JJL? I'm waiting on a State Electrical Inspector to give me a final on my home, then I can run to County and get my C.O. and legally move in............ I'm not really bored.............just wasting time untill I can do something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Good ones. I'll add one that needs to go in the sports room: Why do officials/referees/umpires have numbers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 wow. my head is spinning....lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TennesseeTurkey Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 I'm waiting on a State Electrical Inspector to give me a final on my home, then I can run to County and get my C.O. and legally move in............ I'm not really bored.............just wasting time untill I can do something. Sweeeeet.....electircal inspections are always fun LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutchies Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Hahahhahahahaha..................The reason why we can't use those.........People are too uptight these days and think they have to be politically correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 They do make you think and wonder (kinda :rolleyes:) 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? My wife Diana is going to love you for that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layin on the smackdown Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? LMAO!!!!!HAHAHAHA...:D:D Now thats funny!!! how about this... If you were born on February 28, when do you celebrate your birthday during a leap year??? Do you actually turn one year older??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Hahahhahahahaha..................The reason why we can't use those.........People are too uptight these days and think they have to be politically correct. speaking of that .................. If "poli" means many and "tics" means bloodsucking creatures........ then, what does "politics" mean :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fly Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Thoughtful questions there queenie. This one doesn't require as much thought, but why must many/most teenage girls start every sentence with the word "like". Like, do you know what I'm saying? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 If someone with mulitple personalities threatens to kill himself............. is it considered a hostage situation ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NY_Bowhunter14 Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Why do we drive on the parkway, but park on a driveway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
layin on the smackdown Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Why do we drive on the parkway, but park on a driveway? Or pay tolls on freeways??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavy Metal Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 If someone with mulitple personalities threatens to kill himself............. is it considered a hostage situation ? ROTFLOL!! Send in SWAT!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 how about this... If you were born on February 28, when do you celebrate your birthday during a leap year??? Do you actually turn one year older??? Probably on the 28th, and yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavy Metal Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Probably on the 28th, and yes. yeah, my wifes B-day is 2/28. You mean the 29th bro. My wife was actually born on a leap year too. One day later.....I'd of married like a 4 year old! WHEWWW!!!! That was close!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Probably on the 28th, and yes. haha, I saw that too, but was waiting for you to do the correction Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkneck Posted March 3, 2009 Report Share Posted March 3, 2009 Oldies but goodies.... If it takes two men two days to dig two holes, how many days does it take one man to dig half a hole? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doe-ee Posted March 4, 2009 Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 :cool: Very funny.:cool: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted March 4, 2009 Report Share Posted March 4, 2009 LOL. Some good ones there Jim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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