mrswtnhunt Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing About being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure. The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs. I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia Have poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, So I got my doctor's permission to Join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over. My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. It's scary when you start making the same noises As yourcoffee maker. These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says, For fast relief. THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference. * I just had a birthday and was feeling a little old. Someone sent this to me in an email and it made me feel better. ENJOY!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Andrus Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 pretty neat Catrina! happy belated bday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NiteRunner Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 Those are cute! Happy Belated B-Day!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 You're not quite that old "YET" Catrina. I however can relate to a lot of that. Not all, just a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkeygirl Posted May 7, 2009 Report Share Posted May 7, 2009 LOL! Hilarious!! And happy belated birthday!! Thanks for the laugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doe-ee Posted May 8, 2009 Report Share Posted May 8, 2009 That was funny! I'm going to print that one out and take it to work tomorrow. Everyone's complaining about all their aches and pains. I'm sure they'll all feel better after reading this. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 good stuff, catrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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