redkneck Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 My brother gets out of the pen (again) in a week. Fourth time I guess he's been there (not counting many short stints in the county jail). He's a good guy at heart, but has an alcohol problem and an attitude problem mostly I'd say as a result of spending around 12 years of his life behind bars (he just turned 39). Very sad situation, but I just dont have a lot of confidence he's learned a thing over the years. He keeps getting out and getting involved with the same low-lifes he was hanging out with before. As soon as he gets some keys in his hand, he'll end up wrecking or picking up another DUI within a few weeks. Very lucky he's never killed anyone or himself for that matter. Last time he wrecked, he cut most of his ear off and was able to salvage most of it. Some prayers for him would be appreciated. I really dont have much to do with him anymore, not that I've given up on him, I'd give him the shirt off my back, but I can't be a part of the things he gets into. His last grand jury indictment, the DA asked for permission for life without possibility of parole under the new enhanced sentencing guidelines but he plead for a year cuz it was a week case on his last DUI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sskybnd Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 redneck i cant amagin, what that must be like having a family member always seeming to be in trouble with the law, and i can understand giving your shirt off your back to him, id do it for any of my brothers or sister also. but theres a time for tuff love also, its ovious he has a drinking problume, and needs some help, but its him that needs to want to change. your incuragement and love for him and alot of prayier, and a new set of friends might be what he needs to turn his life around,i'm sorry but i feel god only gives you so many wake up calls, and its time to step in and show him the other side of life. he's still rather young and still has a life ahead of him. and when he's come to trems on what he must do to get turned around he'l need you more than ever. prayer sent to you bud.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 My heart goes out to you and your brother. There is always hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkneck Posted July 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 Thanks guys. It's been way harder on my parents who have spent tens of thousands on him over the last 20 years. He's been to the best rehabs around. But as we all know, if you dont want help for yourself, you wont get there. I dont know how he'll do this time, we'll see soon enough. The worst part is his daughter who is now 12 and has no relationship to speak of with her. My dad is the closest thing to a father figure to her, and I try to spend some time with her too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookieee Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 prayers for you brother hope he can turn his life around Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NS whitetail Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 hopefully he can get his life sorted out in the right way before it is over. I wish him all the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 That's tough bud, best of luck to him getting his crap together. Prison doesn't fix addictions, just gives you time to rest up for the party going on outside the walls. Unfortunately it often takes loosing a loved one to open ones eyes to what they missed out on or completely lost by fault of their own or not. Sometimes just the thought of not making quality time with that person is enough to make change. But it's like you said, he's gotta want it. Don't give up on him just yet, he'll need all the encouragement he can muster from everyone around him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doe-ee Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Prayers from us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotashRLS Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hard situation for sure. Do your best and we'll pray for the both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Man that is a tough situation, not sure in your situation what might snap him out of it. Sometimes people have wake up calls and they change their ways, sounds like he is just not getting it for whatever reason. We had to deal with a similar situation with my wife's step father after my mother in law passed away. The state took away his son(my wifes little brother) and gave us temporary protective custody. My father in law expected everyone to play by his rules and feel sorry for him, I did not play that game and instead after seeing how he wanted to try to do what he wanted expecting everyone to let him run them over I was tough on him hoping he would understand that it was very serious. He used to be my friend and it was not easy, but I did not think being pushover under the circumstances was going to snap him out of it. Kind of like to think that forced him to do what was right by not backing down and by letting him know that he was doing wrong. He cannot stand me now, but he has been straight to the best of our knowledge since the state gave him back his son. Don't really mind being the bad guy in that situation. Hope somehow that your brother gets the help he needs to straighten out his life. Prayers sent for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkneck Posted July 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Thanks guys. Life is what we make of it, I make no excuses for him, but do feel he is genetically predispositioned to dependence because my grandfather was basically the same. He had drank himself to death at the age of 54 about ten years before i was born. My brother, from what i gather is the same way. Not to make excuses for him, but some of us have a harder time than others with alcohol abuse, and I have told him and told him, that he CAN NOT drink. One drink and he's on a fast downhill slide, until he wakes up drinking, looses a job, DUI, drugs, the whole works. I suppose I'll have that talk with him again in a week, and will have to wait to see how he acts. Prison life is poison to a man, his fuse is about as short as they come and he'll fight at the drop of a hat. He cant quite comprehend the term "humble" and thinks the world owes him something, despite the fact that he has taken advantage of everyone who knows him. Thank you all for your prayers, it has been hard, esp for my mother over the years. I put up a barrier around my family, though. I wouldnt dare let him be around my kids alone, just because he is too irresponsible and knows nothing about being a father. I really dont even want him in my house. He'll have a long way to go to earn respect, but there's not a person in my family who wouldnt welcome him back with open arms if he would only come with hat in hand and truly appologize for what he's done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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