Little brother got into some trouble!!

[backwoods07]

My mother, father, and 15 yr old brother are in Florida right now for my brother's baseball tournament. I got a call from my mom at 10 pm last night. She was in tears as she told me how my brother and two of his teammates took a beer a piece out of one of the parent's fridge. They got caught with the beer shortly after.

My mom was heartbroken, to say the least. This is the first time my brother ever got into any trouble whatsoever. He's the baby of the family! Well, my mom was so embarassed and dissapointed, she made arrangements to cut the trip 4 days short. I did my best to talk her out of it.

I told her boys will be boys. I don't condone that type of behavior, and trust me, he will get an earfull from me when he gets home, but these types of trips come once a year and they really are memorable. My brother is the type of person that will be absolutely crushed if they come home. He has the kindest heart I've ever seen in a person and I know for a fact it kills him to see my mother cry. He won't be doing anything like that again, I can assure you.

So fathers, mothers, siblings, what would you do in this situation??

Edited July 20, 2009 by backwoods07

[Casey]

My mother, dather, and 15 yr old brother are in Florida right now for my brother's baseball tournament. I got a call from my mom at 10 pm last night. She was in tears as she told me how my brother and two of his teammates took a beer a piece out of one of the parent's fridge. They got caught with the beer shortly after.

My mom was heartbroken, to say the least. This is the first time my brother ever got into any trouble whatsoever. He's the baby of the family! Well, my mom was so embarassed and dissapointed, she made arrangements to cut the trip 4 days short. I did my best to talk her out of it.

I told her boys will be boys. I don't condone that type of behavior, and trust me, he will get an earfull from me when he gets home, but these types of trips come once a year and they really are memorable. My brother is the type of person that will be absolutely crushed if they come home. He has the kindest heart I've ever seen in a person and I know for a fact it kills him to see my mother cry. He won't be doing anything like that again, I can assure you.

So fathers, mothers, siblings, what would you do in this situation??

What would I do if I was your brother's mother? I would sit him on the bench and make him watch and cheer for his team. You say you don't condone that behavior, so would you agree that he should be suspended for a game or two, maybe for the rest of the week. These days you see sport stars getting away with everything, don't start down that road with this situation even though its a minor problem. If the coach has any respect for the sport of baseball or respect for his/her team he would put your brother on the sideline to watch. When you get back, have him sit out of practices for a few times.

I wouldn't totally kick him out of baseball, but I'd lay the ground rules down pretty hard.

Good luck.

Edited July 20, 2009 by Casey

[BowJoe]

It may sound heartless but I agree with your mother. I think cutting the trip short will be a deserved punishment and get her point across better than a few tears will. As the old saying goes, "A law with no consequences is just advice." I also want to know what kind of parent feels the need to drink at a kid's ballgame? I think the parents should set the first example and take part of the blame when they screw up too. Who is so much of an alcoholic that they can't go on one trip with their kids and not drink as it is a KID'S EVENT!?!

[Casey]

It may sound heartless but I agree with your mother. I think cutting the trip short will be a deserved punishment and get her point across better than a few tears will. As the old saying goes, "A law with no consequences is just advice." I also want to know what kind of parent feels the need to drink at a kid's ballgame? I think the parents should set the first example and take part of the blame when they screw up too. Who is so much of an alcoholic that they can't go on one trip with their kids and not drink as it is a KID'S EVENT!?!

I do agree, my mother would have me whooped and thrown into the car and half way back to Indiana before the next pitch would have been thrown out. :clown:.

I think going home is punishment enough and will take its toll on your brothers future. Kids that grow up getting away with stuff at an early age usually keep pushing their luck. You see super stars in sports and entertainment get in trouble and then out of it like its nothing. Not going home and allowing him to play again, is just plain wrong. If your coach has enough respect for his/her team and the parents he would have kicked your brother out of the tournament. It doesn't matter what your last name is, if your the best player on the team, the one that can smash homeruns all over the place, it should not matter. This should open your brother's eyes. Hopefully it will open up other parents's eyes too.

[Casey]

My mother, father, and 15 yr old brother are in Florida right now for my brother's baseball tournament. I got a call from my mom at 10 pm last night. She was in tears as she told me how my brother and two of his teammates took a beer a piece out of one of the parent's fridge. They got caught with the beer shortly after.

My mom was heartbroken, to say the least. This is the first time my brother ever got into any trouble whatsoever. He's the baby of the family! Well, my mom was so embarassed and dissapointed, she made arrangements to cut the trip 4 days short. I did my best to talk her out of it.

I told her boys will be boys. I don't condone that type of behavior, and trust me, he will get an earfull from me when he gets home, but these types of trips come once a year and they really are memorable. My brother is the type of person that will be absolutely crushed if they come home. He has the kindest heart I've ever seen in a person and I know for a fact it kills him to see my mother cry. He won't be doing anything like that again, I can assure you.

So fathers, mothers, siblings, what would you do in this situation??

If the trips come once a year then it should have been taken so lightly. Your brother knew it was wrong and did it anyways. Your mom is right, he needs to be punished, the trip home will give him time to think. In my opinion it doesn't matter how kind hearted someone is, doesn't matter if someone can hit homeruns all day long, don't let this cloud your judgement with your brother. He did something wrong and he needs to face the consequences and if that means coming home early then thats it.

Sorry for being heartless, but if I was in his shoes, my mother would have whooped me in front of the whole team, thrown me into the car and would be half way back to Indiana before the next game started.

[Guest bowhunter56]

"Sorry for being heartless, but if I was in his shoes, my mother would have whooped me in front of the whole team, thrown me into the car and would be half way back to Indiana before the next game started.

__________________

I agree,,,stupid is as stupid does...:hammer1:

[redkneck]

Most of us have been there, and such things can't go unpunished, but your mother, like most moms will probably take it harder than she should. Boys will be boys and all children will inevitably dissappoint their parents, and thankfully she didnt have to go get him out of jail.

[clrj3514]

tough situation here bud. idk wat to do

[backwoods07]

Sorry for being heartless, but if I was in his shoes, my mother would have whooped me in front of the whole team, thrown me into the car and would be half way back to Indiana before the next game started.

That's not being heartless at all. I agree, there is need for punishment. It's just a tough decision on how to punish him. He's 15 and has absolutely no reason to be thinking about alcohol.

[birdhunter39]

well a beer isn't too bad , when i was his age i started drinking jack Daniels , punishment is not the answer here , a good talkin would be better ( to give him a better of what drinking can do to a person ) . punishment might lead him into a life of drinking uncontrollably .

[doubleA]

I dont see getting upset and punishing a child for drinking alcohol as being "heartless". As a parent, I discipline my children for their wrongfull deeds, it's out of love for them that I do it. I do not condem them as a person but only their actions.

One of the things I see today is that alot of people dont seem to be responsible for their actions, it's like the age of putting the blame on someone or something else. This comes from bringing up "little johnny" and letting him do as he pleases and when caught doing wrong,there are no repercussions of his actions.

IMHO it's best to nip things in the bud.The punishment should be whatever the parents mutually decide on. You didnt say anything about the father's reaction, where does he stand on this?

Edited July 20, 2009 by doubleA

[fly]

I'd inform the coach and tournament officials and let them make the decision on allowing him to finish the tournament or not. I see it as your brother has a responsibility to his team.

I'd then ground him upon returning from the tournament.

[toddpipkin]

BowJoe NAILED it!!!!

I will have to respectfully disagree with fly. This decision belongs to the parent, not the coach or league officials.

I pulled my son out of a game for unsportsmanlike conduct (flinging his bat down after a strikeout; I am not his coach, I did this as his parent). Told him and the coach and the rest of the team that next time, he would be removed from the team and would play no more that year.

There was NOT a next time, and I don't think there ever will be.

And I feel I must call BS on birdhunter39.

Any infraction of any rule anywhere in a youngster's life must be met with immediate consequences, while the error is fresh in his mind, if you expect him to learn from, and not repeat, his mistake.

Edited July 20, 2009 by wing_0_nut

[backwoods07]

You didnt say anything about the father's reaction, where does he stand on this?

I mentioned only my mother because I talked to her, not my father, but I can assure you that my mother spoke on his behalf as well.

As far as letting the coach and tournament officials know, the coach was made aware of this situation and advised my parents to stay. This is a national tournament and can have an affect on the rest of my brother's baseball career. This is an elite, invite only tournament, and there are a lot of college scouts at these games.

Just to update the situation, the focus of conflict has moved away from the kids and to the parents of the other two children involved. One mother didn't like how the other mother handled the situation and got into a verbal altercation with her. Also, my parents have decided to stay in Florida, but made my brother apologize to the team, his coach, and the parents involved. My parents aren't the type to let this type of thing slide. I'm dissapointed in him, to say the least, but I had my first beer at his age, and it didn't have any adverse affect on my life.

[unioncountyslayer]

I've made my fair share of mistakes along the way, as I'm sure many others have. But the one thing I can say that's true from my life is that if I screwed up, while still under my parents supervision, I paid the consequenses. Are there worse things he could have done, sure, but parents are way to easy on kids these days. My parents wouldn't have thought twice. They'd have my bags packed and we'd be on the way home.

[wtnhunt]

Honestly don't know for sure what I would do, think it depends some on the kid. Likely I would not let him play though. Lessons are not learned when parents cave, even if it is a big game.

[OUTSIDER]

Goodnesss, the kid took a beer, OMG, some of the things i have done when i was younger....I would be banned from this site if i told them outloud....I turned out fine if I do say so myself. Better than stealing a car or arson or :laser: isn't it??

[hungry hunter]

One of life's lessons on making the right decision. Alot of us have been there and caught or were informed of our childrens mistakes. Me by not doing anything at all and letting my son think about what might happen did more damage then any thing else. Yes displine should happen no matter what, your parents will make the right decision. When I got kinda of cocky at the state finals during a ball game I got benched in uniform. Never did it again.

[The_Kat]

My parents always told me if I wanted to drink, to drink at home. I got caught drinking when I was 16 at the lake one night and my dad took my truck away, beat my butt, and made me go ride along with a cop who tried to scare me straight for a few nights. Instead, it led me down a career path. Did I drink again.....yes I did. Did I learn a lesson, sadly yes, it was not to get caught. I didn't learn the real lessons and consequences of drinking til I ended up in jail one night for public intoxication in college and almost ruined my law enforcement career.

I agree that boys will be boys. Let the kid play his tournament and be seen by scouts....but work his butt to death and ground him when he gets home.

[preacherman]

I guess I may look at things a little differently than some. But I would have brought him home. You made the statement that college scouts were there and this could possibly hurt his baseball career. But what if doing nothing and no lesson learned allows him to think that he can get away with it, do it again next year or the next, except this time behind a wheel and hurt himself of someone else.

Totally believe lessons sometimes need to be taught in situations like this, by taking away the thing that you love the most. And in this case, looks like that would be baseball.

[Casey]

I mentioned only my mother because I talked to her, not my father, but I can assure you that my mother spoke on his behalf as well.

As far as letting the coach and tournament officials know, the coach was made aware of this situation and advised my parents to stay. This is a national tournament and can have an affect on the rest of my brother's baseball career. This is an elite, invite only tournament, and there are a lot of college scouts at these games.

Just to update the situation, the focus of conflict has moved away from the kids and to the parents of the other two children involved. One mother didn't like how the other mother handled the situation and got into a verbal altercation with her. Also, my parents have decided to stay in Florida, but made my brother apologize to the team, his coach, and the parents involved. My parents aren't the type to let this type of thing slide. I'm dissapointed in him, to say the least, but I had my first beer at his age, and it didn't have any adverse affect on my life.

If I was a college scout looking for the next big thing and I saw a 15 year old drinking a beer from a cooler, I'd turn away and look for another player to scout.

[OJR]

Oh boy! One beer, so what?

Now I would have had a real good talk with him and he would have understood every word I said!

I would not have gone home and I am quite sure he will do things differently from here on out!

We were all TEENAGERS once in our life and there isn't anything worse! LOL!!

[Bob LeBlanc]

... Also, my parents have decided to stay in Florida, but made my brother apologize to the team, his coach, and the parents involved...

I like the way your parents handled it.

Peer pressure is a hard thing to deal with, at that age...heck, it's hard to handle at any age !!

Your brother has a responsibility to his team...he let them down...he was made to apologize for it...GUARANTEED that was hard for him to do. Maybe he should have been made to watch a game from the stands...Maybe he should have been made to be 'bat-boy' for a game, just to drive the point home.

I would be less concerned about the beer, than I would of the circumstance that led him up to taking it. If he 'caved in' to stealing a beer, what happens when it's a joint?

Bob

[wtnhunt]

I like the way your parents handled it.

Peer pressure is a hard thing to deal with, at that age...heck, it's hard to handle at any age !!

Your brother has a responsibility to his team...he let them down...he was made to apologize for it...GUARANTEED that was hard for him to do. Maybe he should have been made to watch a game from the stands...Maybe he should have been made to be 'bat-boy' for a game, just to drive the point home.

I would be less concerned about the beer, than I would of the circumstance that led him up to taking it. If he 'caved in' to stealing a beer, what happens when it's a joint?

Bob

Or worse.

I guess I may look at things a little differently than some. But I would have brought him home. You made the statement that college scouts were there and this could possibly hurt his baseball career. But what if doing nothing and no lesson learned allows him to think that he can get away with it, do it again next year or the next, except this time behind a wheel and hurt himself of someone else.

Totally believe lessons sometimes need to be taught in situations like this, by taking away the thing that you love the most. And in this case, looks like that would be baseball.

Gotta agree with Scott here. It is really not just about the "one" beer. Sure most of us have done things we should not have, trying to pass that information on to our kids so they don't make the same mistakes or so that a light bulb goes off for them when they realize they screwed up where mom and dad tried to tell them just seems like good parenting to me. Think it could potentially be dangerous for a parent to condone or let things slide just because you did it when you were a kid.

Think situations like this and how they are handled also depend on each individual kid. Bottom line you cannot totally control your kids, but you can sure as heck attempt to form them to be responsible and educate them so they are better prepared to deal with what life throws at them.

Guess the question in this situation is, do you think your brother will learn a lesson from what your parents have done, was it enough? Some kids probably would learn from a little humiliation, some kids would not.

[backwoods07]

Gotta agree with Scott here. It is really not just about the "one" beer. Sure most of us have done things we should not have, trying to pass that information on to our kids so they don't make the same mistakes or so that a light bulb goes off for them when they realize they screwed up where mom and dad tried to tell them just seems like good parenting to me. Think it could potentially be dangerous for a parent to condone or let things slide just because you did it when you were a kid.

Think situations like this and how they are handled also depend on each individual kid. Bottom line you cannot totally control your kids, but you can sure as heck attempt to form them to be responsible and educate them so they are better prepared to deal with what life throws at them.

Guess the question in this situation is, do you think your brother will learn a lesson from what your parents have done, was it enough? Some kids probably would learn from a little humiliation, some kids would not.

\

Wow guys. Thanks for the advice. Some of you brought up great points, but the recurring theme is "did he learn his lesson?" I'm sure the punishment is not over for him. They'll probably take away his xbox and ground him for a while when they get back home.

I put enough faith in my brother that he will learn from his experiences and not make the same mistake. Nobody's perfect and he's at that age where he is going to cause a little bit of mischief. That's no "get out of trouble free" pass, but it just helps us deal with his decisions better as family. It's interesting as to how many different opinions are out there! Reason #9237532 for me not to become a parent. I would second guess every decision I made!! Thanks again for shedding some light.