Funny, Random Quotes


92xj

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So this weekend while painting the town red I heard two quotes, that should go down in history. This thread should be a place to post funny random quotes you have heard that have stuck in your head.

The first was from a dude out at the golf course, he says, "hmmmmm, I wonder what it would be like if your butt cheeks froze together?" I mean really, who thinks of something like that.

The second was absolutely amazing. Last night, this chick was hanging out and randomly spits out, "My head is small, which means I have a smaller brain, which means, I am not as smart as most". Honestly, who would say something like that.:clown:

I know this is one of those things that is way more funny if you are there.

So, lets hear them. Someone beat my stupid friends funny comments!

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me and my friend from college were doing laundry. we finished washing and went to put the clothes in the dryer. 45 min later we went back down to get then, she opened her dryer first. "I forgot to turn on the dryer, we just waited 45 min for nothing" i started to tell her what a blond she was when i opened my dryer to find i didn't start mine either. true story!! lol it is not really a quote but i thought it was funny.

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me and my friend from college were doing laundry. we finished washing and went to put the clothes in the dryer. 45 min later we went back down to get then, she opened her dryer first. "I forgot to turn on the dryer, we just waited 45 min for nothing" i started to tell her what a blond she was when i opened my dryer to find i didn't start mine either. true story!! lol it is not really a quote but i thought it was funny.

Sounds about par for the course for you PG!!!!! :D

One of my favorite random quotes is:

"It's deader than dog doo"-my freshman yr college chem prof. speaking about some element

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So, I was on this old hunting forum one time and heard an amazing quote that I never would imagine someone would admit to. Here is what that person said......

me and my friend from college were doing laundry. we finished washing and went to put the clothes in the dryer. 45 min later we went back down to get then, she opened her dryer first. "I forgot to turn on the dryer, we just waited 45 min for nothing" i started to tell her what a blond she was when i opened my dryer to find i didn't start mine either. true story!! lol it is not really a quote but i thought it was funny.

:clown::clown::clown:

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Taking them on some back roads....I heard this one when I was driving back from a Georgia hunting lease with my Wife and Father in the van...

"We're lost but we're making good time"

Thats awesome! LOL!!!

The morning after my best friends 4th of july party about 7 years ago, i woke up and made a B line for the firdge to get the first cold wet liquid i could, and in the process i walked by Lowell, my friends dad, and as i began to pound that huge glass of ice tea, he says..." Dang Danel, your eyes look like two pee holes in the snow..."

I proceeded to shoot ice tea out of both nostrils and my mouth all over his morning paper...I always thought that was a great qoute.

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My dad's pretty redneck so he's had some good ones. We call em Royisms. A few I'm thinking of...

"Not just no, but HE** NO!"

After returning to camp my dad is asked, Well did you get a deer?

"Well, I saw five."

(Funny because the only thing that ever changes in his reply is the number)

My dad's fingers have never graced a computer keyboard. So he calls a few days ago and asks: "Can you do some kind of computer deal and make my NRA membership go back on."

Regardless of who's at fault...

"Yea, yea, see what ya did. Yea yea, see."

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So, I was on this old hunting forum one time and heard an amazing quote that I never would imagine someone would admit to. Here is what that person said......

:clown::clown::clown:

hey if you can't laugh at yourself now and then...you must be a very boring person lol. i have learned that you can't take yourself to seriously.

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My dad's pretty redneck so he's had some good ones. We call em Royisms.

LOL...Thanks for reminding me of a few my Dad says(Joe-isms). :D

When he sees a deer running it's always:

"He was really Carrying the Mail"

And if you ever say you lost something you can bet a million dollars that he would say:

"Well...Do you remember where you were when you lost it"?

And his seemingly all-time favorite when he's watching a game on TV or we're Hunting and have'nt seen anything yet:

"It aint over til the Fat Lady sings"

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Deer running,

"He was picking them up and putting them down".

3 year old from the car seat after passing a farmer spreading manure.

Daddy what is that smell, I replied it was cow poop. Carlee then replied " them cows need changed"

Yogi Beara after leaving a put short at the Bob Hope golf tourn.

"If Ida hit that harder Ida missed it closer".

And my favorite would have to be.

"Stupid people shouldn't breed, that's why I adopted."

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