Muff Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 I am sitting here not knowing what to do. My wife is in full blowen deperssion...she has been trying to deal with it for over 2 years...but as of last week she is over the top with it....I don't know what to do or what to say to her...I try to comfort her as much as I can....I try to do as much around the house as I can but it never seems to help....I went to mass this morning with the school kids.....I prayed for her....and I don't go to church alot but today I felt I had to,,,,but I came home to her rolled up in a ball crying because she says she is a failure in life....its so not true....this is taking me down as hard as it is her...I really don't know what to do......I think I am failing as a husband.....HELP ME PLEASE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archerjg Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. You might want to talk with her doctor to see what he can recommend. Archerjg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VermontHunter Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 I think you both might want to try some counseling, the wife and I did this and it really seemed to help to dump alot of our problems on someone else's shoulders. Just an option to consider ... I will keep your family in my prayers my friend .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhino Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 With this going on 2 years now you really need to get your wife some professional help muggs. They can determine if it's something psychological or something they can treat with medication. Just let her know you love her and support her while she's going through this. Thoughts and prayers going out for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruttinbuc Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 I concur with seeking the advice of a professional. Many times there are underlying physical conditions that can lead to stress and depression. Self esteem is a hard thing to recover, but they can do a lot with medication and the right program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muff Posted September 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 Just to let you know....she is on meds and is seeing a doctor....she went to see him today and came home feeling a little better....but now I can't help but feel I have let her down in some way that she is feeling this way???? I feel so helpless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tink Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 Pastor Pastor are soemtiem better at this than MDs prayer works TINK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swamphunter Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 Prayers for you and your wife... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkneck Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Man, I feel for you. My wife has had problems with depression off and on for years. She's had bad patches and good, medication and counseling can sometimes work well. We went to a great counselor for a while and that helped as much as anything. Unfortunately there's no silver bullet for such problems. Church, family, and counseling are usually your best bet. I wish I could say something that would give you some hope. I've been told most of my life that I always seem to have a smile on my face, but I tell you when your carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, let alone picking up most of the load with the things at home (cooking, washing clothes, etc) it can bring you down as well. Even found myself on antidepressants for a short period of time because of the exact same thing you're going through. I got off of them pretty fast because I just felt emotionless. It was hard on the kids as well, so I'd get them out of the house often for some R&R. My wife has severe back pain and that adds a whole other dimension to things for us I suppose. My heart goes out to you buddy. If you ever need someone to talk to sometime I'll gladly give you my #. john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoosierbuck Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Wow, heavy stuff, buddy. Good advice above. Just try to remember that lots of times emotions have very little basis in rational reality. Just like she is not a bad person or a failure, neither are you. As guys we like to be the be-all end-all for our families, we are fixers, it's what we do and who we are. Sometimes we can't do it alone, and that is OK. Praying for you, bro. HB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 You ain't in this alone my friend. I know what you're going through. Apparently agreeing to counciling is not always the answer. Do what you feel is right under the circumstanses. Put YOU first and you can't go wrong.We all have our flaws. If your wife didn't see it from day one....I don't know what to tell you. Wish you the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 depression is common and can be treated. my wife has this problem and it can be treated with a prescription, and love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWSmith Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Good Advice already Muff...dont be ashamed of getting help for yourself to be better able to deal with whats going on either. Your not a failure and nobody is born with the understanding of how to deal with this kind of thing. Prayers from NY for your Wife and Family..including You;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidd Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 prayers sent!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkeygirl Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 It sounds to me like you are doing all that you can do for her, which is be there for her. Depression is one of those things that can be difficult. Some times you can't do much for someone with it. Glad to hear she went to see her Dr....maybe the 2 of you could go talk with a pastor or counselor....so everything is out in the open...maybe then she will be able to see that you try your best and how hard it is on you....hang in there...we'll be praying! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earnhardts12000 Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 prayers sent just love her be there for her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doe-ee Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 When you feel like there's nothing else you can do to help, it's time to bring in the professionals and keep at it until you find a solution. One doctor might help where another may not, but rest assured there IS someone out there who can help both of you. It may be that you'll go through a lot of doctors or counsellors or pastors before you find the root of the problem. It's a test of fire, that hurts a lot while you're going through it, but, just remember to keep going forward so you come out the other side. We will be praying for you both all through this journey. Diana and Steve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJR Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Oh Boy, this is one thing that my wife and I have never gone through! If there is a problem with the two of us, we sit down and talk! I can't offer any kind of advice, because I have never been there! Sorry! Wishing you and your wife nothing but the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griz Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Wow...I'm very sorry to hear that Muff... I sure do hope everything works out for ya buddy... My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife... Hang in there... Griz... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adjam5 Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 I know you are doing the best you can. Hang in there and continue to be there and love her. But do not forget about you. You have to take care of yourself too. Prayers headed yours and your wifes way Muff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c_lou Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Muff, Sounds like you have gotten some good advice. Nothing I can really add to that. However, I can throw down some prayers for you and your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCH Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Hang in there Muff. Does your wife have any close friends? Sisters? Sometimes all the counseling in the world wouldn't hold a candle to a good friend's or sibling's shoulder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RangerClay Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Joe, I have been to your home on several occasions and I can easily say that you are not a failure. You have a wonderful home and family. I will continue to send prayers your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtnhunt Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Another one who strongly encourages you to seek professional help for your wife here Joe. Might want to check into a different physician if what the one is prescribing does not seem to be helping. Also agree with the counseling. Prayers on the way for your wife and family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion_70 Posted September 17, 2009 Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Hang in there and ensure she gets some counseling. Just let her know you'll be there too when needed. It could be something as simple as needing hormone shots... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.