dance.and.shoot Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 I'm sorry for postin' this on here. I just really need to get it outta my head. My ex-fiance broke up with me just over 3 weeks ago. 2 days before he broke up with me, we had been talking about our reception trying to get if figured out. Then he has the gall to tell me (on the day he broke up with me) that he didn't love me as anything more than a friend. that he was still my best friend, and always would be... That was 3 weeks ago. Friends are supposed to talk to eachother...he hasn't said a word to me...He didn't tell me that his grandmother (who I consider my own) died a couple days after he broke up with me...he didn't tell me when the funeral was. nothin'. I loved this lady. She was the greatest. I'd go over to her house at least once a week just to keep her company and bake (she was amazing in the kitchen). I found out that she died through his facebook status...that's not a way anyone should find out a friend died. I'm battling for the custody of my 5 month old Godson. My ex was very supportive and was doing all he could to help me. He knew I had a court day coming up and that I was really nervous about it. He had been beside me the entire time we were dating. He didn't care that I had a 'son' living with me who would always have to go on our dates. He didn't care that I have 3 other God-babies that I would be watching from time-to-time. I had asked him if he would go with me to the court and support me. I asked him this after he broke up with me. He said he would...did he show up? No. did he even give me an explanation why he didn't go? No. did he ask me how it went? No. was I ready to kill him because of this? Yes. I had pretty much given up hope of him ever talking to me again. all that changed last night though. I FINALLY got a text from him!!! when I opened it, I realized it was just a forward. I thought "that's okay, at least he's starting to talk to me again. even if it is just sending me forwards." then i read it. it said: love you forever and a lifetime. who ever stops this will suffer for 83 days. tell 9 people you love them. hope I get one back. I sent it back to him and started to wonder if he would start actually talking to me now. I got another text from him...this one was also a forward... text everyone. no cheating! see what they want from you: 1-picture 2-another chance 3-hug 4-kiss 5-sex 6-love 7-friendship What the Heck am I supposed to say to that??? Of course I want a second chance. I want things to work out...I want them to be how they were...I want my best friend back... Is this some kind of sick joke? Why is he doing this to me? He knows that he hurt me, he knows that I'm having a hard time with this. He knows I'm not eating, hardly sleeping, and barely functioning at work...and he knows I want him back...What am I supposed to do? What should I have said? I finally responded to him saying: #7-only because I know what I truly want, I'll probably never get back. So right now I just want my best friend back. Should I have said something different? He never responded to me. even when I sent the forward back to him, he never responded. I just don't know what to do anymore...My Godchildren already think of him as daddy. they keep asking where their daddy is. His nephew is the same way. He keeps asking where 'Aunt Camo' is...noone will tell him why I don't come over anymore... Help me guys...what do I do? I can't keep living like this...it's killing me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotashRLS Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Wow that sucks. First and foremost, keep your attention on the wee ones as they are the ones that truely need you. As far as your ex, give him the space and play it out. I know it sucks and is very hard to imagine yourself without him but this is by no means the end of your relationships. Take things one day at a time and before you know it, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and time heals all wounds. Trust me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Wow that sucks. First and foremost, keep your attention on the wee ones as they are the ones that truely need you. As far as your ex, give him the space and play it out. I know it sucks and is very hard to imagine yourself without him but this is by no means the end of your relationships. Take things one day at a time and before you know it, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and time heals all wounds. Trust me! Very well said. The one thing you CAN'T do is sit there and "think" about everything ALL the time, all it will do is bring you even further down, and will affect those around you even more, in some way or another. I know it's easier said than done, trust me, I know, but it's what you have got to do to keep from sinking deeper into a funk. Get your TRUE friends around you, go do things, the busier you keep yourself, the less you will sit and think about things, and the clearer your head will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dance.and.shoot Posted September 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Very well said. The one thing you CAN'T do is sit there and "think" about everything ALL the time, all it will do is bring you even further down, and will affect those around you even more, in some way or another. I know it's easier said than done, trust me, I know, but it's what you have got to do to keep from sinking deeper into a funk. Get your TRUE friends around you, go do things, the busier you keep yourself, the less you will sit and think about things, and the clearer your head will be. I usually am able to keep busy. I go dancing 2 to 3 times a week. (I would go more, but I've got Christopher I have to take care of and my roommates can only watch him Tuesdays and Fridays...some Saturdays). it's just hard being at home with Christopher. There's nothing to do in the house, and it's hard to get out and do stuff when you have a 5 month old. Work isn't the best either. All I do is work on phones all day, so if the phones are slow, then my mind wanders. That's what I love about this forum. It keeps me busy at work, but even this forum has it's slow times... This is my 2nd engagement that fell through. I'm only 19...this is wearing me down. Physically and Emotionally... No guy is really gonna want someone who comes with a baby. and if I do end up getting custody of 2 of my other Godchildren, that's gonna be even more baggage that noone is going to want...I'm just tired of this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotashRLS Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Obviously I am guessing as to why you have custody things going on, but I would suspect that such a noble act will sit VERY well with the right guy that comes along!!! You should be very proud of the sacrifices you are making at such a young age for your Godchildren. You have so much going for you so count the blessings, not the perceived insufficiencies. I remember I was devastated when my GF broke up with me when I was 18. She was still finishing Highschool and I thought I really messed up. Things sucked then but we are friends now time took care of the rest. Like Gator said, spend time with the people who love you all else will fall into place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dance.and.shoot Posted September 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Thanks guys. I don't mean to complain. It's just so hard sometimes. I don't live with my parents. so it's hard to get their help with Christopher. I've got a 5-bedroom house that I'm trying to keep, and a house on 16 acres as well...(thank Heavens for roommates) I really don't mean to vent or complain. But everyonce in a while, I've gotta...i'll try to keep iit to a mininum!!! ~D&S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotashRLS Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 Vent a way!! It's raining here today so it feels like one of those days anyway. Keep your chin up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dance.and.shoot Posted September 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Thanks. I really really appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dance.and.shoot Posted September 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 Yesterday was a court day. We were trying to see if I would get custody of one of my god babies. The paternal grandparents were up against me saying they would be better fit to raise him (which they wouldn't...they don't even love him) We both lost. for some reason, the court gave him to his father...and I (kinda). I'm going to have custody of him until his dad can get back on his feet and back into the house. So I'll have him for probably about 2 months full-time. After that, his father and I are going to have joint custody for at least a year. If after that year the court decides that he is a good father and can take care of his son. then his son will get to move with him to Wyoming. (the father will be living in my house as a roommate for the year of testing) However, I'll still get pretty good 'visitation'. Every 2 months, I'll get to have him for 3 weeks. which is better than I could've hoped for. I'm not completely happy with how the custody decision turned out, but i'm not going to complain...I still get to raise my 'son'. The father was the one that requested that I stay in his son's life since his son needs a mother. He said he wanted his son to know me as his mother. I'm so grateful that the father wants me in his son's life and wants me to be a mother to him. The 5 month old that lives with me (Christopher) is the most precious child you'll ever meet. I've talked to his father about him and his father wants me to be Christopher's mother...we just have to convince his real mother that it's what's best for Christopher. We're going to talk to her and see if we can get her to sign the adoption papers. Both the father and I feel like this is the best thing for Christopher. Please keep us in your prayers that the Lord's will will be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PotashRLS Posted October 1, 2009 Report Share Posted October 1, 2009 Please keep us in your prayers that the Lord's will will be done. It will, don't worry about that. God Bless all of you, especially little Christopher! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted October 1, 2009 Report Share Posted October 1, 2009 Bow up and let things go. Hard as it may seem..move on and let the past go. There ain't nothing linggering there much as you wish there was. good luck on how you choose to handle your situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dance.and.shoot Posted October 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2009 So I went dancing the other day and totally screwed up my already bad knee. I can hardly move my right leg. this is the worst time to get injured too. I have 2 dance performances coming up. one is on Saturday the 10th and the other is the 17th (BYU's Homecoming Parade....AAAGHHHH!!! so scared!!!) Doc says if I can't get my leg to stop acting up, I can't dance (he threatened to handcuff me to his table if he had to...) I was so devestated when he told me that...but you know what, it'll be okay. I'll just put on a happy face and try not to limp on my next doctor visit and lie through my teeth telling him I have no pain in my leg. and if he still doesn't let me dance, my life isn't over! I'll be able to dance again. may not be now, but someday i'll be able to get back up and do what I love. I have my son who's my entire world, and friends who help keep me crazily sane!!! I have everything I need around me right now. So what if I can't dance for a month. it's not the end of the world! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earnhardts12000 Posted October 4, 2009 Report Share Posted October 4, 2009 ur life sounds bout as complicated as mine i'm single dad of 3 kids really hard cause i still love my ex too but shes with someone so hard cause i do still love her so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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