92xj Posted October 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 Pig Roast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowtech_archer07 Posted October 26, 2009 Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 Well sir, someone from the fire department called me and said they had a slow day so I started the fire, then backed up and drove my car up in the tree. So ya see, I was just tryin to help those guys out ya know. Give them some practice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunt or be Hunted Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 "i thought i could fly sir but it didn't work out very good" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakota Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Budget reductions and cost cutting measures has forced a local Sheriff's office to depart from their helicopter surveilance and conventional air traffic control program. The department's helicopter was sold off in an effort to meet fiscal restraints earlier this year. However, it was rumoured that measures had been taken to maintain a lower cost ariel surveliance operation when the department acquired this police car shaped hot air balloon. The Sheriff's office was contacted for comment, but at the time of this release, their official response was that any rumours to that effect were full of "hot air". Further comments by the department indicated that the decision on the future of the police ariel operations was still up in the air, but pictuires would seen to indicate otherwise. On a side note, the local volunteer fire department, who had been called in to rescue a trapped feline, reportedly stuck in a tree-trapped police car, let the cat out of the bag (litterally) after the kitty had clawed its way into the trunk where it was rumoured that almost 100 pounds of confiscated "day old" donoughts, that were being used as ballast, had weighted down one end of the otherwise light foot's floating vessel. The shaken pilot, who had previously been employed in the department's rotary wing helicopter section, was reported after the incident to have said that he was now looking forward to keeping his feet planted firmly on the ground at a desk job! The FAA was called in to investigate unsubstantiated claims that the police car had been shot down by ground to air missiles. However, at the time of press, officials were following up on claims that the pilot had been heard to have said, "As god is my witness, I had no idea that turkeys could fly that high!". TBow...for Realtree Action News ROFLMBO! Okay...there've been some good ones but this is just too funny! :D:D Dakota Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adjam5 Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Gee...I really hope this don't come out of my pay Captain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirrelhunter91 Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 "Whiskey bottles, sheriff cars, birch tree you're in my way." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksbowhntr77 Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 "It was then Officer JoBob and Officer Larry realized they had barked up the wrong tree on their hunch.........":crutch: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kat Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 So there was this white guy, a black guy, and a cop............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Capt. - "So, what exactly happened here, Ken?":mad: :mad: Officer Ken(driver) - " Well, Capt., I was driving back to the station for shift change, thinking about hunting right after work..right" :bummed: Capt. - "yeah, and then what happened?" Officer Ken(driver) - "Well, you're a hunter too Capt., so I know you'll understand, ..right?" :bummed: Capt. - "Depends Ken. Now what the heck happened ???" Officer Ken(driver) - " Well, it's the rut right?, And you know how exciting the rut can be, right. Well, I'm driving along and all of a sudden this doe jumps out in front of me, running like crazy..right." Capt. - "Yeah, so you swirved and hit the tree I presume?" Officer Ken(driver) - "Well no Capt. She ran out in front of me, so I stopped to let her cross the road, but she started running up the center-line instead" Capt. - " Yeah, sooooo, how'd you hit the dang tree then???":mad: Officer Ken(driver) - "Well, then all of a sudden, this huge buck jumps out in front of me, and starts chasing her down the road. He must have been at least an 18 pointer, if not more. He had stickers, and drop-tines hangin all over the place." Capt. - "WOW!!, more than 18 points eh, so come on, tell me more." :jaw: Officer Ken(driver) - "Well, I was dumbfounded Capt, but I managed to pull myself together and started following them down the road, right. I had to speed a bit, just to catch up, since the speed limit was only 25 MPH., but was managing quite well." Capt. - "Awesome , so then what?" Officer Ken(driver) - "Well, I was getting kinda mesmerized, watching this guy's rack bouncing up and down in front of me, and he was heading for the property I hunt too." :tt1::yes::wacko: Capt. - Really ??? .."WOW !!, that's awesome buddy, so then what?" Officer Ken(driver) - "Well, the property was coming up, on the right side of the road, and that is where I was headed as soon as this shift ends, right" Capt. - "Yeah, so what does that have to do with anything???" :wacko: Officer Ken(driver) - "Well, when the doe started cutting left, instead of right, I knew the buck would follow, so I swerved to the left, and tried to cut her off, and chase them both the other way, right" Capt. - "Yeah, so did it work ??" Officer Ken(driver)- "Well, yeah, but then I hit the tree" :yes::bummed: Capt. - "OK, you get off in ten minutes, right Ken?" Officer Ken(driver) - "Well, I was, but I'll have to go back to the station now, and write up a report" :bummed: Capt. - "Never mind the dang report. Officer Blade can drive you home, Pronto, I will take care of the paperwork, and you just go and get that buck !!" Officer Ken(driver) - "Thanks Capt., I knew you'd understand. :clown: Capt. - "Nevermind that, we'll charge that buck with something at the BBQ. " :clown: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dance.and.shoot Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 HaHaHa...okay. i have a new favorite... buckee wins!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBow Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 O.K. There's a hole in your story buckee! See the car was marked "SHERIFF". That means it's an american car and hence should be an american story. But reading the story with a Sherlock Holmes' eye, I fixed on the following quote: Capt. - "WOW!!, more than 18 points eh, so come on, tell me more." EH? That means the Captain would have to be a Canadian eh? C'mon hoser, what's next? Vinegar on the french fries at the bbq? Potato chips instead of french fried potatoes? Telling us the deer were clocked in kph instead of mph? 7.5% beer instead of near beer at the bbq? 3 downs to each play instead of 4? Telling us the locals witnessing the accident called 411 instead of 911 in order to find out who owned the property the deer were herded onto? So you see, I'm on to your charade my good man! Elementary my dear Watson! Elementary!....but DANG good story, plot, storyline and punchline! Kudos to the author! TBow.....eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 O.K. There's a hole in your story buckee! See the car was marked "SHERIFF". That means it's an american car and hence should be an american story. But reading the story with a Sherlock Holmes' eye, I fixed on the following quote: EH? That means the Captain would have to be a Canadian eh? C'mon hoser, what's next? Vinegar on the french fries at the bbq? Potato chips instead of french fried potatoes? Telling us the deer were clocked in kph instead of mph? 7.5% beer instead of near beer at the bbq? 3 downs to each play instead of 4? Telling us the locals witnessing the accident called 411 instead of 911 in order to find out who owned the property the deer were herded onto? So you see, I'm on to your charade my good man! Elementary my dear Watson! Elementary!....but DANG good story, plot, storyline and punchline! Kudos to the author! TBow.....eh? :clown::clown: LMBO .. Thanks Tbow...LOL:clown::clown::clown: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebeilgard Posted October 29, 2009 Report Share Posted October 29, 2009 you're a sick man, steve. get help.... lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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