Strut10 Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 I know the redneck threads have gone around before. But last week, me & the Mrs. had an anniversary and we added a couple more "you might be's" to our list. Now these are all things that either we or someone in our immediate family have actually done. List what you've got from actual things you or someone in your close family have really done. This could be pretty revealing. 1: If you've ever celebrated your wedding anniversary by getting a hot tub room and taking the kids....... 2: If you had your anniversary dinner at Subway......... 3: If you've ever duct-taped a diaper on one of your kids..... 4: If you are using your old tube TV as a stand for your new widescreen LCD TV...... 5: If you've ever brought home roadkill that wasn't dead...... 6: If you've ever dried your kids clothes by rolling them up in the Jeep window and driving down the interstate...... 7: If you've ever thrown a toilet farther than 50 feet........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakota Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 (edited) Too funny! Here's a few of mine. 1. If you've ever had your camo-clad suburban break down on the interstate in morning traffic and all you can complain about is that it's the last day of turkey season. 2. If your biggest buck to-date was shot (legally) in a residential area. 3. If you're pretending to take notes while watching hunting DVD's on your laptop or are on the realtree forums in a college class. 4. If you have to park off-campus due to the fact that you're going turkey hunting after class and have a shotgun in the back of your suburban. 5. If you've ever used tent stakes in place of rebar stakes to secure your traps. 6. If you've ever gone into "army-training" mode on an antelope hunt and left no survivors. (I still don't know if any of those antelope are mine, Dad made quick work before I could get off two shots! ) 7. If you've ever attempted to use a fillet knife to get a Rapala (with a northern pike still connected to it) out of your ankle....and then gone into the emergency room with the Rapala (minus the pike) still lodged securely in your ankle. 8. If after a year with that unused comforter taking up room in the suburban it's finally justified after you almost drown chasing spring snow geese and it prevents hypothermia from setting in. 9. If you've ever shot a jackrabbit with a .30-06...from less than 30 yards away... 10. If you find out you have to have open-heart surgery and you're upset because it will interfere with turkey season. 11. If you have two purposes for sardines on your trapline: bait and a snack! 12. If you can't get to sleep at night because your life-sized poster of Phil Robertson (Duck Commander) keeps falling on you. 13. If you've ever field-dressed critters in the light of your vehicle's headlights over 30 miles from the nearest civilization. 14. If you suddenly realized meeting your buddy in the school parking lot to go hunting was a bad idea due to the fact that firearms aren't allowed on school property and you shove your double-barrel shotgun down your pant leg and waddle across to his vehicle. (I didn't do that...but I know who did! ) I could really go on and on... Edited February 11, 2010 by Dakota Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tominator Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 If you crawl up on your garage or house and glass for deer in your field. If you crawl up on your garage and practice shooting at your 3D. :shifty: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 You might be a redneck; 1- If you hired someone to clean up your garbage in the front yard, and got mad because they took garbage that you still wanted. 2- If you have to tickle the wires under the dashboard each morning to get your truck heater to work. 3- If you've never washed your truck & most likely never will. 4- If you fixed your cell phone with camo-duct tape. 5- If all your duct tape is camo. 6- If you own more hunting hats than you do dress-shirts. 7- If you own and wear T-shirts more than 10-15 years old. 8- If you never read direction, until you've exhausted all other possibilities. 9- If you own one of them fandangle fake fireplaces, but it's never worked, and you've never gotten it fixed,..but...you think it looks good anyway. 10- If you've ever ran down a cottontail in deep snow and actually caught it, then brought it home, kept it under your dresser in your bedroom for a few days, fed it, and then let it go. 11- If you've ever snuck up on a cottontail, and caught it by hand, more than once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bowhuntMN Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 3. If you're pretending to take notes while watching hunting DVD's on your laptop or are on the realtree forums in a college class. Exactly what i'm doing right now! and every tuesday and thursday when i have class Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeramie Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Yep, these are true.... 1. If all of the men at Thanksgiving Dinner are wearing Cammo because it happens to overlap with Rifle Season.... 2. Before opening Christmas Presents from family you already know its either going to be for hunting or fishing. 3. If you gripe about those “Dang kids texting while driving” yet you cant’ keep it out of the ditch because you’re too busy looking for wildlife in passing fields. 4. You know if your house catches fire the smartest thing to do is run. If that fire ever reaches the ammo store house something is getting “blowed up.” 5. You think Ted Nugent is a great American and should run for President. 6. A woman’s looks aren’t nearly as important as her willingness to help clean fish, cook wildlife, and not nag about youre being out in search of either... 7. If you don’t have CDL Drivers license but your sister does… 8. If you’re jealous because your Mom’s 4-wheeler is bigger than yours… 9. If you’ve ever had a calf or colt in your living room “ because they looked cold….” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 (edited) 3. If you gripe about those “Dang kids texting while driving” yet you cant’ keep it out of the ditch because you’re too busy looking for wildlife in passing fields. Dang, I forgot about that one ..LOL You should ask my wife about the time we were driving to and into Victoria. My wife was lecturing me on keeping my eyes on the road, and commending me at the same time on how I can pick up game in my peripheral vision. We're driving in the slow lane on a 6 lane highway, with a media in the middle and high banks on each side. While she was talking, I said .."Look at that bunny over there" The rabbit was standing along the treeline, on top of the hill, on the other side of the highway. Edited February 11, 2010 by buckee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamond Archer 01 Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Haha. You guys have some good ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMort Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 If you ride around in the back of a pick up truck looking for deer If you have ever shot mice with 22 bird shot in the basement of your house. Ya'll got some good ones there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coles Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 --If you park your 4 wheeler on the covered deck connected to your trailer house to keep it out of the snow --If the wallpaper in one of the rooms in your trailer house is targets ive shot with awesome groups and in the middle of them all is a pic of Michael Waddell that HE signed --If you can hardly see out the back window of your pickup because its covered with hunting stickers --If you have ridden in the back of a pickup when it was 30 below zero holding on to the headache rack while holding a spot light hunting jackrabbits --If you are late for Thanksgiving dinner and everyone who is eating stops and comes outside to see the deer you have just shot --If you are sitting in a college class and instead of paying attention to the lecture, you are watching the squirrels in the trees outside wishing you were hunting --If you use a pickup and chain to pull down a dead tree for a bonfire instead of using the chainsaw in the back of the pickup just because it would be cooler --If you plow the walking path for almost 2 miles and everyones driveways around your house just for an excuse to be riding my 4 wheeler --If the drug dog comes to school and checks all the vehicles in the school parking lot and allerts on your truck, but the principle isnt concerned because he knows the dog is just allerting on ammo inside. --If you have a gun cabinet that is made for 8 guns but there is 14 guns in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randyoitker1 Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 You might be a redneck if: There is a big line at the car wash and when you get your turn everybody is watching you open the tailgate and wash the blood out of your truck and gets scared and leaves! TRUE STORY HAPPENED TO ME! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamond Archer 01 Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 You might be a redneck if: There is a big line at the car wash and when you get your turn everybody is watching you open the tailgate and wash the blood out of your truck and gets scared and leaves! TRUE STORY HAPPENED TO ME! Lol. That is funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawg Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 5. You think Ted Nugent is a great American and should run for President. Yes sir!! 8. If you’re jealous because your Mom’s 4-wheeler is bigger than yours… And that is down right funny!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhino Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 You might be a redneck if... 1. You got thrown out of a motel for cleaning a deer in the bathtub. (Wasn't me...honest) 2. Fixed the leaks in your boat with duck tape right before you went fishing. 3. Lauched your duck boat, trailer, and truck into the lake. 4. Drove your car off the road into a wet field to get a better look at a deer. 5. Used some garbage cans as cover to deer hunt. 6. Pulled a truck out that was stuck in the mud with a 4 wheeler. 7. Launched your ski boat with your camo clad electric cart. (wasn't me) 8. Go to a business meeting straight from the woods still dressed in full camo. (that was me ) 6- If you own more hunting hats than you do dress-shirts. 7- If you own and wear T-shirts more than 10-15 years old. :stupid: Need more time to think of some more gooduns :rockon: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strut10 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 DocMort and Rhino reminded me of a couple more and I thought of some others: 8: If you've ever fired a .44 magnum inside your house....... 9: If you've ever cleaned a wild turkey in a motel shower......... 10: If, when you get in the freezer, you have a 50/50 chance of pulling something out that you're saving for the taxidermist...... 11: If the butter compartment in your fridge has never held butter because that's where the diaphragm calls are kept......... 12: If you named your first-born son after your taxidermist...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMort Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 More along the lines of strut You have ever shot woodchucks from he kitchen table with a slug gun Ever been to fur auction and made enough money to buy a new gun (happened when I was 14) had well over 100 large coon hides. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBow Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 1. Take your family for a drive in the country, see a grouse crossing the road, straddle the middle of the road to take him with the family pickup, take the grouse home and cook it up for the kids (That was my kids favorite story at school). 2. Layin' out bird feed on the ground under the bird feeders to bait for squirrels, then shootin' yer pellet rifle from inside the house so's yer neighbors can't see you goin' postal on the bushy tails. 3. Waitin' 'till the family is all away, then gettin' out yer squirrelin' airgun and practising with it shooting into the Sears catalogues from the livingroom into the kitchen. 4. Take your wife on a nice holiday to PA, just so you could scout out a new place to bowhunt. 5. When the insurance value on all your bows and firearms well exceeds all your wife's jewelry.......and you won't tell her! 6. Tellin' the bride that in the event or your untimely demise, you wan'na be waked in full camo with your favorite longbow and wooden arrows packed in the box. 7. Bedtime stories for your kids was guessing what animal and bird calls you were using. 8. You've actually named the mounted deerhead hanging in yer house and always refer to him by name....."Night Ralph!". TBow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakota Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 1. If your taxidermy bill is almost as much as your student loans. 2. If your garage serves multiple purposes (especially during the winter): skinning shed; butcher shop; fishing, hunting and trapping gear storage; boot and wet hunting clothing locker; and ice box. 3. If the must have "essentials" in the back of your suburban include duck decoys, trapping gear, fishing tackle and boxers. 4. If a smashed up year-old pop tart is stuck to the inside pocket lining of your turkey vest and probably still will be by this time next year. 5. If you've ever used a turkey decoy to practice shooting with your Magnus Bullheads. 6. If the gun-rack in the back of your truck serves two purposes: to hold your guns or hang your hip quiver from. 7. If all that's holding the rear sight up on your .22 is a wad of cardboard. 8. If you've ever shot a rabbit in your backyard...with a longbow...unintentionally...by mistake...10 feet left of where you were aiming...which was the garden compost bin... 9. If you've ever used an old pizza box as an archery target. 10. If your gun safe holds as many swords as it does guns. Like I said...I could really go on and on... Dakota Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhino Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 If the butter compartment in your fridge has never held butter because that's where the diaphragm calls are kept......... Hey...I resemble that remark! :stupid: Some more: 1. If you view the orange cones the highway department puts in the road as an opportunity to test your driving ability. 2. If the back of your truck looks like the Beverly Hillbillies are moving in when you pull into hunting camp. 3. You fire a rifle with a laser boresighter still in the end of the barrel. 4. If the amount of camo clothing you have rivals the amount of your regular clothing. 5. If your lucky hat is coming apart at the seems. 6. If you've ever turkey hunted on crutches (that was me :crutch:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckee Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 You know you're a redneck; If you go through 5 cast in 2 weeks, because it's duck hunting season. PS- Plastic garbage bags don't last long when you're wading through marsh and my doctor was really getting ticked off at me...LOL My ankle never did heal right...I don't know why...LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogwild63 Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 If you have ever said, "nuff said" on a hunting forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strut10 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 4. If the amount of camo clothing you have rivals the amount of your regular clothing. It may even surpass the amount of non-camo stuff that I own. I know it'll be darned close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerLily Posted February 13, 2010 Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 these are hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:clap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA_Spike_King Posted February 14, 2010 Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 If you go sled riding and break your ankle and then 2 weeks later go sleding again and beak your cast and don't want to go home to have to answer to my (or your) mom. LOL true life lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamond Archer 01 Posted February 14, 2010 Report Share Posted February 14, 2010 If you have a tree stand right in your backyard to practice for hunting(thats me). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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