The rules for a safe and happy halloween.

[Wobbly_Alaska]

THE RULES FOR A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to

see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which

they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot

of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several

rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who

speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to ****.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would

apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and

find out that it's just the cat, GET THE **** OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for

short circuits; just get out!

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good

reason for it. Don't stop and look around!

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you

know what you're doing. And even if you're sure you know what you're

doing, just don't fool with it!

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down

at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running

and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast

enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic

behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,

increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are

listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog you're in

trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any

small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go

to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think

that it is strange because you thought you had half of a tank, shoot

yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the

time to move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had

previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion,

or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

[arrow32]

Nice. Those are good.

[gzilla45]

#4 is the best.

[c_lou]

#16 is my personal favorite.

Those are funny.

[SourthenILdeerhunter]

THE RULES FOR A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the

time to move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had

previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion,

or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

ut oh mine is!!!!!!!!!:bat:

[Hunt or be Hunted]

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

Now just why don't you wanna do something like that?

[Goinghuntin]

Number 13 is so true! :jaw:

16 is my favorite though

Nathan

[Wobbly_Alaska]

#4 is the best.

i have to agree,,, made all my kids read it and read it good....

have a good holiday all..

Vince

[GWSmith]

.....or any small town in Maine.:D:D

[stevebeilgard]

some good rules there. lol