Do you need a good laugh ??

TreeWalker · August 26, 2005

Yogi Berra Classics:

"Surprise me."

- on where his wife should have him buried.

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

"Do you mean now?"

- when asked for the time.

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"I made a wrong mistake "

"This is like deja vu all over again."

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"He must have made that before he died."

-referring to a Steve McQueen movie.

"I want to thank you for making this day necessary."

-at Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.

"I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it."

- when asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

"It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."

"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."

"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

"It gets late early out there."

- referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.

"The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they are running."

"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."

"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."

"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself."

- after being told he looked cool.

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

"Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."

"If the fans don't come out to the ballpark, you can't stop them."

"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."

"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."

"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"

"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."

"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."

"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

"I didn't really say everything I said."

preacherman · August 26, 2005