Ive got a problem


Guest TennesseeTurkey

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Guest TennesseeTurkey

So my best friend and co-worker with me on the quality control team works almost 10 extra hours a week than I do and I just used to think he was just padding his time but, it turns out it could be something else. This can be a real long story but pretty much (I think from talking to his wife about it) he's been cheating on her a lot. It all started to unfold she his wife called me and asked who a woman with x name was and I told her that was our dispatcher for the quality control team, I asked why she wanted to know and she said it was because he has been getting a lot of e-mails and pictures from her. He (my friend) told me 3 days ago that she (the dispatcher) quit her job and wasnt working there any more, well I called dispatch last night and found out that she WAS still working there. His wife also told me about her catching him at some womans house back in the summer and how he jumped over the fence trying not to be caught at her house (he told me back in the summer he hurt himself jumping over a fence at a customers house) then there was another time how he was telling me about having to get a new weedeater fixed but his wife told me when he went to "get it fixed" he was at that womans house again. My buddy, to me, dosent seem like the type of guy to do this kind of thing but everything she told me last night, that she caught him in was almost the same stories he was telling me about needing stuff fixed or how he had to be out so late or early.... I just dont know what to do, I hate being in the middle of this thing. I want to believe her but I dont want to approach him about it....

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So my best friend and co-worker with me on the quality control team works almost 10 extra hours a week than I do and I just used to think he was just padding his time but, it turns out it could be something else. This can be a real long story but pretty much (I think from talking to his wife about it) he's been cheating on her a lot. It all started to unfold she his wife called me and asked who a woman with x name was and I told her that was our dispatcher for the quality control team, I asked why she wanted to know and she said it was because he has been getting a lot of e-mails and pictures from her. He (my friend) told me 3 days ago that she (the dispatcher) quit her job and wasnt working there any more, well I called dispatch last night and found out that she WAS still working there. His wife also told me about her catching him at some womans house back in the summer and how he jumped over the fence trying not to be caught at her house (he told me back in the summer he hurt himself jumping over a fence at a customers house) then there was another time how he was telling me about having to get a new weedeater fixed but his wife told me when he went to "get it fixed" he was at that womans house again. My buddy, to me, dosent seem like the type of guy to do this kind of thing but everything she told me last night, that she caught him in was almost the same stories he was telling me about needing stuff fixed or how he had to be out so late or early.... I just dont know what to do, I hate being in the middle of this thing. I want to believe her but I dont want to approach him about it....

Don't get involved in it at all. Do not talk to him about it nor her. It is already headed in the worse direction and there is nothing you can do about it. You do not need to get caught up in the he said she said BS that is going to happen really soon. Let them figure out their own lives. You decide your opinions and who you want to believe but it is my opinion to stay out of it. I learned my lesson once to never get in the middle of a couple where one or both are cheating. If you need to talk to someone about it. Talk to Brittany, it will only make your relationship stronger. Goodluck bro. Stay away, stay far away!!!

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Guest TennesseeTurkey
Don't get involved in it at all. Do not talk to him about it nor her. It is already headed in the worse direction and there is nothing you can do about it. You do not need to get caught up in the he said she said BS that is going to happen really soon. Let them figure out their own lives. You decide your opinions and who you want to believe but it is my opinion to stay out of it. I learned my lesson once to never get in the middle of a couple where one or both are cheating. If you need to talk to someone about it. Talk to Brittany, it will only make your relationship stronger. Goodluck bro. Stay away, stay far away!!!

Yeah Brittany knows all about it because she was sitting beside me when his wife called wondering where he was at and then told me all those things... I feel sorry for that woman :(

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I've got a similar situation with a friend of mine, and I stay clear of all of it. My wife is friends with his wife, she calls Kim all of the time with concerns, crying, etc. I keep telling my wife to be careful how involved she gets, but she says that this woman has no one else to talk to......

I feel bad for them, but I'm staying out of it. It's up to them to work it out.

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well... had friend who had his wife do it.... and caught my wife at it 2 times before it was over...both sides of a story are never understood by both parties...both sides tend to explode at the most inopportune times....

be friend stay out of it until he comes to you... her too...i never picked side with my friend and his wife told her i though she was wrong, but forgave her and are still friends 20 years later with both. exposing anything will only explode the situation before it is ready...

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I will go one further....not only do you not need to get involved, you need to remove yourself.

If either of them start talking to you about it, just politely say "I am sorry but none of this is my business and I would prefer not to know any of it".

If hubbie / friend sees your number on wifey's caller id or cell phone, he might make some assumptions. She could tell him that you two have a thing going to get back at him. I mean anything can happen. None of it any good.

Stay out of it and make it a point not to know anything that's going on.

Just my two cents.

New

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Guest TennesseeTurkey
I will go one further....not only do you not need to get involved, you need to remove yourself.

If either of them start talking to you about it, just politely say "I am sorry but none of this is my business and I would prefer not to know any of it".

If hubbie / friend sees your number on wifey's caller id or cell phone, he might make some assumptions. She could tell him that you two have a thing going to get back at him. I mean anything can happen. None of it any good.

Stay out of it and make it a point not to know anything that's going on.

Just my two cents.

New

True but the couple in question are old enough to be my parents. I know that dosent mean anything in some circumstances but it does in this one.... things that make you go buuuagh lol.....

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i am an idiot....but i would catalyze the situation and tell your bud that she knows everything, and that he needs to come clean or take a hike...let the fit hit the shan and where it goes from there is not your problem.

I would do this only to shorten the suffering for her....nothing sucks more than knowing you are being cheated on, but not having clarity. You are a man of integrity Will, so end the suffering. Let the cat out of the bag, and get the heck out of the way....

but thats me, and i am an idiot.

sorry to hear about this situation, and good luck with whatever you do.

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Guest TennesseeTurkey
And by the way... I don't think "you have a problem"... they do...

Yeah I see you point, but this lady has baked me so many cakes and cookies, and has been way out of the way nice to me and he's my best friend. I want to say something but I cant... Its not a REAL bad problem I dont guess but I still feel bad for her, and honestly thats if this is all true....

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where it goes from there is not your problem

Oh I totally disagree with this. If you think that he is going to either tell his buddy he has the goods on him and that he needs to come clean, or tell the wife she is being cheated on, and it ends there for him, you may be just a bit naive to domestic situations. I am telling you, they turn deadly..., quickly. This problem is between a husband and wife and it seems like if I am reading it correctly, she suspects him already. She can hire a private investigator if she can find one that does marital issues but they are few and far between for these very reasons. Maybe she loves this man enough she is willing to turn a blind eye to it and hope he comes around. Maybe they are talking and getting counseling but wish to keep it private while they work through this. Maybe they DON'T love each other and are both running. NO ONE, but the two of them know the actual situation. When you bring this to them to them that its getting out.. now it becomes a problem and your name is smack dab in the middle of it. Have you ever been to family court?? It makes criminal court look like a big "love in"..

STAY OUT OF IT. :hammer1:

Have you ever heard the phrase "Dont kill the messenger"? This phrase came about because people tend to turn on those relaying the message.

In the last 30 years the national homicide rate has been

42.9% murdered by a spouse, boyfriend/ girlfriend or "other aquaintance". Only 13.9% was by a total stranger.

I tend to think I have a wee bit of experience in seeing the end result of domestic interference. (Not with my wife obviously as I am very happily married to the most incredible woman on the face of the earth. Not just because she sends me all over North America hunting various big game animals..... etc Just because she is incredible FOR ALL the reasons a wife is incredible!) :)

JMO though

do as you see fit

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