many have asked for this, none have ever been given it, untill now.... 
Ground burger 
applesauce 
breadcrumbles 
worcestershire 
hint of bbq sauce 
seasoning salt 
paprika 
amount of each, I have no idea, just enough to keep the ground burger texture 
Mix in bowl, let sit for an hour or so, make big fat burgers.   
Make a couple of big but thing burgers. 
Laya thin one out, place cheese and jalapenos on it, lay a second one on top and mend the edges. 
cook to your liking. 
Its insane!